|2012: the Aztec End of Time Issue
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2012 - End of Time?
The Aztecs predicted the end of time in 2012 (at least that's what some say based on the lack of any Aztec calendars following 2012). So, if this is true, it means that you only have about 360 some days left to have fun on this earth. That said, you're going to need more expendable cash to enjoy some of the niceties of life - like dining, vacationing, bowling... And, in these financially difficult times, we are all becoming less and less familiar with discretionary income.
STOCK UP NOW - Here's a downloadable coupon to help you do so...
Jillian H. sent us a photo of the DuctaPet that she made following the [joke] ad on page 55 of our Jumbo Duct Tape Book (still available at the Duct Tape Pro Shop). Nice work, Jillian. I believe you are the first person in over 10 years to have actually make one of these.
Television Set Repair on a Roll I use duct tape to repair my television set. The socket for the cable is on the back of the tv and it has a bad connection. If you move the cable that screws into the socket to just the right position the picture is perfect. Of course you have to reach behind the tv to move the cable with your hand and the position may shift due to sound vibrations. Sooooo enter Duct Tape. I tore off a 2' strip of duct tape and secured one end to the cable and folded the other end back to itself 1" for a "pull" so that now all I have to do is grab the "pull" and adjust the cable until the picture is perfect and stick the duct tape to the side of the tv to "lock" it in place. Now, I don't care if I ever find a tv repair guy to replace that socket. - Tom K. Pearland, TX
Saw Horse Helper I was trying to saw a board to length and didn't have any clamp handy to secure it while cutting. I simply duck taped it to the sawhorse, made the cut, cut away the tape and continued working.- Mike B., St. Albans, WV
Jim's Razor Fix After spending a while trying to figure out what the buzzing sound was in the back of our car, we finally figured out that it was Jim's electric razor that had turned itself on in his suitcase. The problem was fixed with one little swatch of duct tape.
Grandpa, what's that? When we last visted my dad he had duct tape covering the bottom part of his TV which is always tuned to CNN. My son asked him, "Grandpa, what's the duct tape doing on the bottom of your television screen?" He replied, "Oh, that covers up them dang words that keep movin' across the bottom there... they make me dizzy!" Good think'in, Dad!
No More Squeeky Office My story is not one of great success but a small success for me. The office complex I work in has a finish on their floors which causes my most comfortable running shoes to squeak when I walk. Since I do a lot of walking at my job, the constant squeaking was driving me crazy. yesterday morning when I arrived at work I had a Revelation. what if, I thought to myself, I was to apply a strip of duct tape to the bottom of my shoes? Well, let me tell you, it works like a charm. In fact it works so good that I inadvertently scared a few coworkers, since they didn't hear me coming. I know it may not seem like much, but it's made me very happy. One more use for duct tape to add to the list of thousands. Hooray for duct tape! - Cris
Read a TON more stories of how duct tape has saved the day for ordinary folks around the world at the Duct Tape Diner and remember - we want YOUR stories, too! (Submission information here.)
You'll have anything but a boring winter when you grab some duct tape and flip to the Ducktivities project pages at DuckTapeClub.com!
While most people think of duct tape as a repair tool, Duck Tape® brand duct tape has always been huge on crafting with duct tape. They have some great instructional videos and instructions for creative ways to craft with their array of colored duct tapes. Click here to check out their current line-up of Ducktivities. Who knows, it may actually result in some income for you if you offer your creations for sale at work, school, or online!
Duck brand also would like you to join them on facebook. To "like" the Duck Tape Facebook page - click here: Facebook.com/ducktape.
Tim's been painting - a lot - and some of those paintings are being "licensed" for reproduction and sale on merchandise. Some of those licensed images (see above) can be found starting in April at all Walmart stores and other large chains worldwide.
Tim also found a new favorite restaurant in Algoma, WI - about 20 minutes from the town that Jim and Tim live in. Skaliwag's Chef Chris is from Southern Georgia by way of a resort in Park City, Utah. He brought some really interesting food to this tiny 32-seat bar. You can watch a video that Tim made of Chris preparing his popular "Grilled Romaine" - yeah, sounds crazy, but it's amazing! Click to skaliwags.com and watch the Cooking video.
Speaking of recipies, you can find some of the favoritess that we've accumulated over the years at our "Cookin' Page". Just click in and peruse the index to make some of your own delectable discoveries.
Have a recipe that you love that you'd like to share? Send it along to us. We'll taste-test it and if it passes our palate-test, you'll see it posted at DuctTapeGuys.com/cookin. Thanks and Bon Appetite!
(A showcase of weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site and watch for Dale's Discoveries to be coming out in book form!
The song "Auld Lang Syne" has taught me that, if you want to write a song that lasts forever, try to tie it in with a holiday. With that in mind, I am currently writing, "Marty, How We Loved You", which I hope will become the definitive song for Martin Van Buren's birthday.
I just saw a documentary about hummus. It was a chick pea flick.
I think I will buy a Mayan calendar and some nacho cheese then just wait around to see who tries to say that it's theirs.
Helpful hint for living: Never have an ice cream sandwich on whole wheat toast.
My neighbor used to get beat up every time he rang someone's doorbell. Now he's in the Jehovah's Witness protection program.
I am working on an alternative fuel source for toy cars. I am going to make it out of candy corn.
Based on the number of people who say, "God Bless You" to me when I sneeze in public, I expected a much better reaction than I got to throwing up.
I imagine my life would have gone differently if it wasn't just on the computer that those little boxes pop up asking, "Are you sure you want to do this?".
I don't really mind bad weather so much since it normally stays outside.
I have come to realize that "Head and Shoulders" works just as well and lasts twice as long if you just use it on your head.
Look, kids, if you didn't want the snowman to melt, why did you put a scarf on him?
I bought a bicycle just to go to Staples to get more paper and envelopes. I call it my stationery bike.
I'll bet my neighbors would take my angry letters about their barking dogs more seriously if I just sent translations of what I claimed the dogs were saying to me.
I don't need "Pandora" to ask me if I'm still listening. I have a wife for that.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Unless, of course, your initial intention was to actually dig a big hole.
My love for extended family holiday gatherings knows bounds.
I wonder if the Cabbage Patch really did cure those dolls' addiction to cole slaw and sauerkraut.
I got my last Christmas gift in the mail today - The complete 200 dvd set of "Hoarders".
It's aways darkest before the dawn. After the dawn, it gets light.
I have never been to a "swim up bar" but I would imagine that one major advantage would be that you never have to get up to go to the bathroom.
It's never too late to have a misspent youth.
I told my doctor about a pain I was having in my back. She asked me what I was doing when I had the pain. I told her that I was lying on the bed screaming obscenities about how much it hurt.
Having the kids clean their own bathroom seemed like a good idea at the time.
I bought a "Vegetable Party Tray". I asked my eleven year old son if he had ever been to a vegetable party before. He said, "No, Dad, I never go anywhere."
Mankind has struggled with the concept of Free Will versus Predestination for centuries. I myself have been pondering it of late and I think I have finally figured out the answer. I believe that Man is created with total and absolute Free Will. Then he gets married.
Since no one uses the "New Math" anymore, don't you think they should change its name?
I have now successfully proven that, if you have kids, no matter what part of your house you are sorting out, you will find a piece of lego.
Just think of all the occupations that humanity has gone thru to get from hunter and gatherer to greeter.
I don't normally do holiday shopping, but I couldn't resist getting my irritating neighbor a T shirt that said, "Do not resuscitate".
Another in the list of things I have learned while my lovely wife was away: You can't save time by putting dishes in with the clothes in the washing machine.
Dale's website discoveries
I am proud to say that this was made by a personal friend of mine (and Tim’s): "Dr. Jim"
The glory of things fleeting: watch
The astounding world of the future.: watch
Ok, here is a bonus one: Coke Zero and Mentos Car
Our webcommendations are taking a charitable turn in this New Year issue.
A really great place to give your money to help those hungry around the world is Feed my Starving Children. 93% of the money they get goes directly into a proprietary food packs that feed nutritiously for a wee bit of money. For instance - $88 feeds a child for an entire year. $240 provides 1000 meals. Read more about this cool program at FMSC.org
And, the Duct Tape Guys have always been supporters of the work of Habitat for Humanity. Check out www.habitat.org to see what they've been doing around the world recently.
We're continuing our HUGH JASS DEAL! Our holiday book offering was so popular that we decided to continue it! Plus, Tim and Jim both may be moving soon - so we need to get our inventory out the door... NOW!!!
A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."
Or, those who walk into bars...
This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... She, of course, turns him down. Not willing, to give up, he pleads with her... "C'mon lady, I'm a fun guy..."
This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face...
These two strings walk up to a bar... The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar... The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" String says "Yeah." Bartender says, "aren't you a string?" ... String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."
This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"
This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." The seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club...
This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop..."
A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked. "No." A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of the man's leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" he said indignantly. The other guy replied, "That's not my dog."
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes...
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw..."
A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here..."A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your licker"
Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one. "I'll have a glass of plasma", said the other. "Okay," replied the bartender, "that'll be one blood and one blood lite..."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...'
more of these groaners can be found online here
DUCT TAPE ART - if you are creative sort or enjoy the artistic endeavors of those around you, you will probably enjoy perusing our ART GALLERY.
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