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Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we will always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:

Quotes of the Month:
My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am." - unknown (see more Dog Philosophy in the Bit-O-Humor section below)

“The most important of my discoveries has been suggested to me by my failures.” - Sir Humphrey Davy

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." - Anne Lamott

Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about issues that he feels are of importance.
It has challenging stuff to think about during your duct taping projects. If you want a dose of stuff to think about click here. If you don't want to, that's okay. Tape on! Here is a brief intro to what's in this month's SOAPBOX:

Darfur - we need to help.
While we are busy funding chaos in Iraq that is accomplishing nothing, everyday the 2.5 million people chased from their homes in Darfur face the threat of starvation, disease, and rape, while the few lucky enough to remain in their homes risk displacement, torture, and murder. We can help. Click here.

Are you on our e-mail list?
Click here - to subscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim

Do you eBay?
No? Well, how about if you could nab some genuine Duct Tape Guy props (retired), with books and videos to boot? Click to see what our current offering on eBay is by clicking to our Duct Tape Guys on eBay page (items change without notice). Next up: Jim's Shorts!

Music to Duct Tape by...
Dig the Vibes!
This month we feature Joe Locke a killer vibes player and really great guy. Be amazed - watch the video of Joe Locke and Geoffrey Keezer's breathtaking performance of Gershwin's "Summertime" at the 2005 Tokyo Jazz Festival.

Jumbo/FREE video offer!

The Jumbo Duct Tape Book - our fourth book of seven (with over 450 pages filled with duct tape uses real and wacky). Click the special "Thumbs Up" link below and get a FREE Duct Tape Guys video tape (a $12 retail value) when you purchase a Jumbo Duct Tape Book for only $8.95. This offer is available in this newsletter only and will expire on December 15th - so hurry! CLICK THE Thumbs Up! LINK BELOW:

For more deals, go to the Duct Tape Pro Shop Garage Sale Page and get great gifts in multiples for office, school, large families, etc.

You asked for it - You got it! We've just launced some cool, designer black and dark color t-shirts with duct tape pro grunge designs and our popular duct tape designs. Just click to the Duct Tape Pro Shop to pick one up today.

This month's recipe:
With a few additional ingredients, you can turn this heart-healthy hot cereal into a gourmet taste treat.

Click here to go to the Cookin' with the Duct Tape Guys recipe page.

Decemburrr 2006

The Duct Tape Guys Wrap Up their TV Show Pilot
Our television pilot isn't all edited yet due to a hard drive CRASH (Jim is currently duct taping it back together). But we promised you something to look at this month, so here's the portions of the show where we learn how to make bratwurst at Marchant's Meats and Sausages, and visit Palmer Johnson Yacht Company, both in Sturgeon Bay, WI. click here to check out our video clips

Handy Hints Lookin' for cool ideas that use duct tape? Look no further than our new Handy Hints page. We'll be updating this with a hint or two each month. The hint that started it all was this idea from our first book - later picked up on by Family Handyman magazine. Great ideas for a great tape.

Holiday Hints
Anytime is the right time for duct tape. But with all of the wrapping, decorating, fixing that needs to happen prior to the holiday entertaining season, no season is a better season for duct tape than right now! We've gathered a list of holiday uses for duct tape that you may find useful. If you come up with new uses that we haven't listed, remember to send them to us (photos always help get them into our web site, books and calendars). For instructions on how to submit your ideas click to our SUBMIT page.

Speaking of Gifts...
An autographed book and or video from Jim and Tim, or an item of Duct Tape clothing (along with a fresh roll or two of duct tape make the perfect gift. And we know that money is tight, so we've put together some specially priced packages for you. You can see all of them at Duct Tape Pro Shop and directly from there. Remember to place your order by December 15th to ensure delivery in time for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa (by the 5th for Hanukkah gifts).

Here are just some of the specials that you will find at the Duct Tape Pro Shop:
Free Video with Jumbo Duct Tape Book purchase (see special link on right)
GARAGE SALE DEALS (deals on volume purchases like $6.95 books for only $2.25 each!
VIDEOS Two for $10!
Trilogy Pack (video and two books
$25 value for just $15!)

New Shirt design: We also just added a new design - based on one of our favorite movies (The Jerk), a paraphrase of Navin Johnson's famous "And that's all I need..." line. We've changed the copy to "All I need is Duct Tape, WD-40® and BEER... and that's ALL I need." Not recommended of course for the under age duct tape lover, or teetotaler, but for the right person, this shirt will be a rockin' holiday gift!

FREE GROUND SHIPPING on APPAREL ORDERS (purchases of $50 or more - details in our Apparel page). Free Shipping offer ends on December 20, 2006, at 11:59 p.m. (PST).

This newsletter is sponsored in part by Duck brand Duct Tape - Home of The Original Duck Tape Club.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

On a wrapper for a certain brand of cream cheese it says, "A Little Taste of Heaven". Now I am not a theologian, but I have never heard of a religion whose concept of an afterlife ever mentioned cheese. Dale, you've never lived in Wisconsin! And, how about, "Blessed are the Cheesemakers"? - Jim

There used to be a sign at the Hayden Planetarium in Manhattan that said "Solar System and Rest Rooms this way" - Source: Jean Shepherd 1960

My mother was recently in the emergency room and they were asking her to rate the pain she was feeling on a scale of 1 to 10. Later I asked the nurse what a "10" was and she said it was the worst pain you ever felt in your life. I wondered what would happen if your life had been relatively pain free up until that point. My sister then said that breaking her leg hurt way more than giving birth. I had neither of those experiences, so a 3 for her would probably be a 17 for me. Heck, if I get a paper cut it's a 9.
I thought you were going to say she said, "The worst pain in my life is my son, Dale. So, if he's a ten..." - Tim

My eight year old daughter was telling my lovely wife about the Boston Tea Party and she said that when they threw the tea into the water it formed into words. When my wife asked her what she meant she said, "Well, you told me that they used the Tea Party to send England a message".

Website discovery of the month:
St. Claire inc. has a site designed to create industrial safety signs for use in various industries. With a little creativity though, you can create all kinds of authentic looking signs warning about Daddy's cooking or a child's messy room. I imagine that, if you worked in an office, you could probably also find some uses for these, but I wouldn't know about that. The sign on the left is Dale's creation using the online sign maker tool. (Note that a free registration is required to use the site.)

Teach to Build Creativity, not Undermine it.
Jim and I have based our entire Duct Tape Guy existance on the ability to be creative. Heck, the fact that duct tape has no instructions with it forces and nurtures creativity. This is the kind of creativity that, if taught in our schools, would help our young people excel. We've put together our own free creative thinking curriculum helpers for teachers (click here).

We just came across an entertaining, informative and moving video of Sir Ken Robinson (author of Out of Our Minds: Learning to be Creative, and a leading expert on innovation and human resources). In this talk, he makes a case for creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermining it. (Recorded February, 2006 in Monterey, CA.) If you are a parent, you will want to watch this video and pass it along to your school board. click here to watch the video at TED

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.
Just like these people did:

Cat Flea Picker When I was using the flea comb on the cats, sometimes the fleas would hop from it before I could squish them. My son offered a solution - a duct tape loop with the sticky side out so I could get the fleas off the cat and onto the duct tape. No more hopping back onto the cat! - Sue G. (& Timothy), State College, PA

Caffeine Keeper Duct tape saved my cup of coffee. I had just bought a large 16 oz.stryo cup, and within a few minutes noticed that the bottom was leaking. Instead of throwing it out, got out the roll of duct tape and put two pieces on the bottom, and another wrap around the side. Saved the day. - Butch T., Maine

Sand bag repair Everytime it rains, Ed in Sturgeon Bay, WI has to run out to the end of his driveway and place the sandbags to prevent his house from getting flooded due to a poorly designed storm sewer system. Here you can see Ed's noble attempt to get a few more seasons out of the sandbags.

Vet Helper This past February, our dog got his leg cut in a hunter's trap. He got his tendon's severed to the bone. The dog survived and at the vets the reconnected all of his tendons and such. But his cut was so big (1 inch wide by 4 1/2 inches long) they were quite worried that his inclination to bite and chew at the "repair" would cause an infection and the dog would loose his leg.

So I was given all sorts of supplies and ended up dressing that wound several times a day as the dog would eat off the dressing as soon as I could put it on. Finally, after spending several more dollars on dressing my husband had enough. He grabbed the Duct tape and securely taped the dog's leg. The dog sniffed the tape and kind of nibbled at it, but quickly left it alone. Three days later we took of the dressing, it was clean and beautiful. So we re-cleaned the stitching and reapplied a nice thick layer of duct tape. Seven days after the accident we went back to the vet's office. They laughedat us, and one of the vets was quite angry at us for "putting that crap on your dog." However, when they cut it off, the wound was clean and one of the best looking wounds they had ever seen. In fact our dog healed so well that no one can tell which leg was the one that was damaged!

The other day I was at the farm supply store... and over heard a farmer laughing about the Vet... apparently they duct taped up one of his cows over a bunch of stitching... I wonder if it was the Grumpy Vet? - Roberta V., Sebringville, Ontario

Watch for an interview with Fred the clown that lives on an island in our upcoming television show pilot (see top of page).

Looking for a holiday gift for someone who has everything? How about a cow? A sheep? Or a camel? We encourage you to check out Oxfam America Unwrapped - Oxfam America works in 26 countries around the world. This catalog contains gift items that symbolically represent our work. The items selected represent project goals from grants disbursed by our seven offices around the world. The purchase of each gift item is a contribution toward Oxfam America's many programs, not a donation to a specific project or goal. Your donation will be used where it is needed the most - to help people living in poverty throughout the world.

click here for more information about Oxfam America Unwrapped

This month, our Bit-O-Humor goes to the Dogs
(with a tip of the hat to Cats, too)
Dog Philosophy 101 (various authors)
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. - Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. - M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. - James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up o $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. - Phil Pastoret

Dog's Diary entries...
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

Click here to listen to the Duct Tape Guys early radio bits, "Duct Tape Talk".

Patch-it-all! These are some of the many duct tape patch jobs that we've found. Remember, if your patch is outside, use Duck brand's UV coated Duck Tape to help your repair last longer.
Check out our Sightings pages for more duct tape sightings.

Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06, 6/06, 7/06, 8/06, 9/06,10/06,11/06,

Tim (left), Jim (other left).