The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we will always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:

Quotes of the Month:
"Politicians are the easiest patients to operate on. They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, no spine and the head and ass are interchangeable." - Annonymous Washington DC Surgeon

Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about serious issues that he feels are of importance.
It has been moved to a different page so those who would rather not have a dose of serious matters can avoid it. If you're concerned with the state of our nation, the future we are giving our kids, issues of peace, justice and faith/values in action, and would like to be exposed to more ideas than those presented by our corporate media, click here. If you don't want to, that's okay. Tape on!

God Gameth, God Bloweth Away
I am convinced that the great majority of Evangelical Christians are totally now out of the loop for the task of bringing Christ's message to the world. I have a hunch that the message of peace and love that Christ taught will be best delivered by non-churched "seculars" who, not jaded by years of bad theology and dogma, are living out The Message in their everyday lives (whether they know they are or not). - Tim
P.S. WARNING - Reading this article below may result in projectile vomiting.

During the Middle Ages, almost all beef, pork, mutton, and chicken were chopped fine. Forks were unknown at the time and the knife was a kitchen utensil rather that a piece of tableware.
Cookin' with Duct Tape:

It's grilling time! And we're still looking for your favorite method of cooking a bratwurst. click here to read our favorite method.

Get a Bumper Sticker FREE! Send us a photo of you holding up a roll of duct tape and one of our books, our video, or wearing one of our shirts in front of a landmark (in your community, or some famous landmark anywhere in the world) and we will send you a Duct Tape Pro bumper sticker. Remember to include your mailing address with your digital photo.

OR If you don't have a digital camera or just want a bumper sticker, you can send $1.00 and get one delivered to your U.S. mailing address. Just send $1 with a self-addressed, stamped (39¢) #10 (business-sized) envelope to: Duct Tape Guys Bumper Sticker c/o 732 Memorial Drive, Suite 200, Sturgeon Bay, WI 54235

June 2006

Sorry We're Late
The newsletter is a bit late this month Tim's trying to adjust to his new glasses (right). No, really, it's because we've been busy preparing for our June appearances. The Avon Ohio Duct Tape Heritage Festival will take place Father's Day weekend (Avon is just west of Cleveland). If you are within driving distance, come on out and see us. We will be appearing on stage Friday at 6pm and Saturday at 12:30pm. Also at the festival is the world's largest (and perhaps only) Duct Tape Float Parade. It's just like the Rose Parade, but we use duct tape instead of roses to build the floats. Click here for more information and to see some of the floats from previous years.

Following that event, we will be pitting our duct tape prowess against the engineers at DuPont Automotive Plastics at the McCormick Center in Chicago. This will be our first foray into the corporate world outside of duct tape companies. We're going to show them (we think) that duct tape can do anything that their specialty plastics can do - and do it cheaper and better!

Remember Dad! Remember that Father's Day is right around the corner (Sunday, June 18th). Click to our store to stock up on duct tape gifts for dad (or grandpa or uncle or brother) on this, their special day. We will through in a FREE bumper sticker AND Duct Tape Pro Button with every Book and Video order until Father's Day. Click to our store to select the item best suited to your duct tape guy.

Did you fall off of our list?
We've switched our e-mail listserve software If you were a subscriber to our email list in the past, you would have gotten a verification email making sure you want to opt-in to our new list. Over 700 of you didn't respond to this and thereby fell off of the list. If you want to keep getting our newsletter announcements and special notices that we send out (not more than twice a month), Click here - and resubscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim

Music to duct tape by:
We've added a new little section to the newsletter that will feature music that we dig for one reason or another. You can also check out our duct tape-specific music offerings by clicking to our Music area. Since June is National Accordian Month, We thought we'd post our favorite Twin Citie's Minnesota-based accordian group (since the demise of "The Wallets"). The Cafe Accordian Orchestra is an eclectic and fun group that brings to mind sitting in a French Sidewalk Cafe sipping on a cup of good coffee, eating a croissant and watching the passers by. - click here for Cafe Accordian's web site. And, you can click here for samples of their music to listen to while you are reading this.

Got Craft?
Michael's stores nationwide feature Duck brand colored duct tape. So, if you are making a purse, wallet, prom gown or just fixing your rusted out vehicle, Michael's is a good source to turn to for your colored Duct Tape. You can also go to our "Where to Buy" page for other stores.

Percussive Animation
Although we didn't spot any duct tape being used in the creation of this musical monstrosity, we think it might qualify as the best 3-D Animation Project EVER. What do you think? You decide - it's pretty darned cool! Make sure you have your volume on! Enjoy! Animusic: Pipe Dream - click here

2006 Stuck at Prom Voting Reminder
It's time to go vote on your favorite Stuck at Prom couple. Go to to see all of the 2006 entries and Place Your Vote for the BEST Duct Tape Prom Couple!

And then, click to our Prom Viewer to see hundreds of our favorites from the five previous years of the contest.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

Why is it that Popeye always waits until Brutus (or Bluto, depending on which era your cartoon happens to be from) has nearly beaten him to a pulp and is on the verge of unconsciousness that he takes the spinach out and eats it? I mean, doesn't he have it with him at all times? If I was Popeye, the second it looked like a fight was going to go down, I would say, "Hang on a second please, Brutus (or Bluto), I just want to grab a quick snack here. I'll be right with you.".

I was watching "Animal House" the other nite and it occured to me that, although my college experience never involved living in a frat house, I have come very close to recreating that environment by having small children.

Dale's Website Discovery of the Month
I almost hate to mention this because I just assume that everyone knows about it by now, but I think that one of the greatest uses of the internet has to be Freecycle. This is a site whose goal is to prevent overcrowding of our landfills by finding homes for unwanted things which would otherwise end up rotting away. Simply log on and find one in your area. I cannot recommend this site enough. If you love duct tape, you are going to love Freecycle.

Take advantage of our overstock
We've had several orders lately from people taking advantage of our Garage Sale section of the Duct Tape Pro Shop. Some for gifts, but several for business incentives, promotional items, and thank you gifts. If you think about it, it makes good economic sense. For instance, if you are a Realtor: Add an Ultimate Duct Tape Book to a roll of duct tape and you have the perfect little "survival kit" for new homeowners. With prices at less than 50% of retail, you can give a gift that gives big for just a little bit of cash. Check out what's in the Garage today and get your marketing and public relations wheels turning!

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.

Just like these people did:

Toothpaste Tube Fix Don't you hate trying to squeeze toothpaste out of an almost empty tube? I taped the rolled up tube to avoid the pesky re-rolling. - Matt L., Millville, PA

Rock and Roll Tape On Friday March 10, 2006 as I was watching a concert by Rhonda Vincent & The Rage at the Douglass Theater in Macon, Georgia, and Duct Tape became part of the show. During the first song Rhonda's microphone went out. She moved over to the next microphone and finished the song. The band moved the non working microphone from the center of the stage to the far right of the stage. After the second song while Rhonda was speaking to the audience, Josh Williams (guitar player) started working on the microphone. While he was fixing the microphone, Hunter Berry (fiddle player) ask the audience " Does any one have some duct tape?". Well that drew a large laughter from everyone. I sure wish I had taken my duct tape to the concert. That would have been "A Duct Tape Moment". - Billy

Duct Tape Guy Schedule Management What do you do to make a little schedule (above) easier to read? Carolee (the Duct Tape Guys' favorite talent escort) simply duct taped over everything that wasn't pertenate to the Duct Tape Guys. Good thinkin' Carolee!

Tow Rope on a Roll Back in the seventies my brother Gary Bowling used four rolls of duct tape to tow a '64 Nova stationwagon over 18 miles of curving mountain roads up by Paines Creek in Tehama county, Callifornia. Two rolls were twisted and twined between a '58 Wilys pickup and a tire and two more rolls were twisted and twined between the tire and the Nova. They did it this way because the Nova had no brakes so the tire was to cushion the bummpers. My brother said they drove slowly but that the duct tape held up like a champ. my brother also feels that every applicant for citizenship should be required to own and know how to operate duct tape. Thanks guys for a great site! - Sharon Brown

For Dad, Grandpa, Uncle or Brother on Father's Day
The King of Duct Tape He loves to use it and will love to wear the shirt that proclaims him the "King of Duct Tape". We have a TON of others to choose from. Just click to the Duct Tape Pro Shop to pick one up today. They come in a variety of shirt styles - even a nice cozy sweatshirt for fall and winter wearing!

Got an idea for a shirt? Look through our apparel offerings. If you don't see your idea, and we haven't used it in the past, we just might use it. If we produce it, we will send you a free shirt. (email your idea to - put "shirt idea" in the subject line)

Turn your pickup truck into one of those fancy Airstream motorhomes Stock up on silver (or the new CHROME duct tape and you can turn your vehicle into a sleek motorhome reminiscent of those fancy Airstreams. Make sure your car is clean and dry and was-free before applying or you will be retaping sooner than needed. And, apply your strips so the wind doesn't catch them.

We just got this emailed to me from a disgruntled fan in the South:

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge you so-called "smart" Yankees to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2 x 8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

At the Little League Game
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a 'pecker-head'. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a 'dumb ass' is it?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

Click here to listen to the Duct Tape Guys early radio bits, "Duct Tape Talk".

Worst Mascot Ever?
At a recent trade show we spotted this, possibly the worst and most obscure mascot that we've ever seen. It's a "Wagner Paint Remover" - but no, we still can't figure out what exactly it is supposed to be.All we know is that it was angry about something and scared the kids.

If you spot duct tape - snap a photo and send it to us. We'll add it to our Duct Tape Sightings pages. Make sure you tell us where the shot was taken!

Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

If you want OFF of our email list at any time, that’s fine with us, we don’t want to bother anyone with stuff they don't want. Just click the list link above and follow the unsubscribe instructions - don't send us an email asking us to remove you - we have no control over the list - you must click the link above or on your email notification to unsubscribe. Thanks.

May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06,

Tim (left), Jim (other left).