We moved our e-newsletter online to avoid long email downloads, missed subscribers (whose email won't let them download images), and so we show you more pictures and make quicker links to cool stuff. Hope you like the change. Tell us what you think of the new “On a Roll.”

NEW “BADGE of HONOR” If you have sent us a duct tape story, photo, winning photo contest caption, etc. that we have used on our site, please feel free to grab the icon on the left and post it on your site and in your emails. You can link this “badge of honor” to http://www.ducttapeguys.com or a specific page on our site so your readers can easily find your contribution to our online tribute to the “Ultimate Power Tool”.

Shane O. recently read this in an airline brochure and called it to our attention: Additionally, certain items cannot be carried onboard the aircraft and will not be allowed beyond security checkpoints. These items include knives/cutting instruments, all "non-safety" type razor blades, corkscrews, baseball bats, golf clubs, ski poles and hockey sticks. Which kind of struck us funny (for some reason).

But, we decided that they we're nearly thorough enough… Additionally, you may not bring aboard toothpicks, paint brushes that have hardened lacquer type paint on them, batteries that are leaking acid, beer bottles, glass picture frames, pencils and or pens, pointed 1950-style bras, assault riffles, magic wands, air compressors, high-pressure truck washing systems, denture adhesive, super glue, duct tape, hand or electric egg beaters, hat pins, baseball caps with metal adjustable clasps, jack hammers, or toe nail clippers. Floppy disks, tie-tacks, screw drivers, car keys, metal dental work (e.g. braces, gold fillings), belts of any kind, yo-yo's, slinkys, kite string, g-string, nasal spray, liquid drano, hydrochloric acid (both diluted and undiluted), diamond rings, toe-rings, nose-rings, ringworm, ant farms, any biological weaponry, Barbie dolls (including Ken), poisonous snakes, bees, plutoniom, radioactive substances, nuclear or non-nuclear bombs, head bands, waist bands, marching bands, ankle bracelets, finger-nail polish remover, rubbing alcohol, Q-Tips (extra cotton padding Q-Tips are okay), machetes, matches, lighters, gasoline, fireworks (including but not limited to M-80s, sparklers, whistlers, bobcats, Roman candles (especially Roman candles) flamethrowers... pretty much anything with the word "fire" in it), any weapons that can be categorized under "mass destruction," laser guns, photon beams, ray-guns, gamma blasters, solar powered windmeels, can openers, sleeping gas, laughing gas, jet fuel, garbage bags, zip-lock bags, pre-1985 Tupperware, flatware, dinnerware, underwear (not being worn on person), any member of the African blood-sucking mambas (applies only to international flights), tarantulas, bats, racoons, mountain lions, and/or grizzly bears. If you do need these items, please plan to check them with your luggage.

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
QUOTE O’ the ISSUE: "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same." --- Oscar Wilde

Here’s your chance to get a Duct Tape Book for only 99¢! Buy any shirt from the Duct Tape Pro Shop (either a duct tape shirt or Parodyware shirt) and get an “Ultimate Duct Tape Book for just 99¢ more. That’s a $6.95 value for just 99¢ - heck, it’s worth over $7 when we autograph it! Click on the 99¢ on the right to get to the deal.

The new Duct Tape Photo Caption Contest is posted. Click the button on the left to see who won last month’s contest and to try your humor writing skills and creativity on this month’s photo. Good luck!

Get stuck with this for FREE. Send us a self-addressed, stamped envelope (34¢ stamp - or base on 1 ounce for U.S. to Canada) and we will send you a FREE Duct Tape Pro bumper sticker. Address your envelope to: FREE Bumper Sticker NL, P.O. Box 130066, Roseville, MN 55113 (limit two per family please - include two self-addressed envelopes - one for each sticker).

Meet us at the Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like this guy did:

Duct Tape and Drumstick Tie Rod Repair Coming home from a concert in Seattle I broke a tie rod and the garage I called to come qouted me an estimate of $450.00 for the tow and repair. I bought a roll of Duct tape instead and tied the tie-rod in with a couple drumsticks and drove the 140 miles back to Yakima where I took it into a local shop and got it repaired for $39.00 plus the cost of a new tie-rod. Saved $350.00 thanks to duct tape. --- Walter and Lorraine M.

(Go to the Duct Tape Diner for the story that goes with this photo.)

365 Days of Duct Tape Calendar Fixes

A lot of you are sending us notes about your calendar problems. We've had other duct tape lovers come up with some fixes. Check them out by clicking here. If you don’t own a 365 Days of Duct Tape Calendar (2002 is our sixth year!) - you can get one at the Duct Tape Pro Shop right now!

Warning: Potentially Lethal Bean Shrapnel I just read today's (1/15/02) recipe in my page a day Duct Tape calendar and am a little concerned because I have a feeling no one tried this recipe before it was published. As a kid, my friends and I enjoyed throwing canned vegetables in the fire, not because we liked hot, fresh veggies, but because it always resulted in an impressive explosion. A can of beans in a fire quickly turns into a thin-walled pressure vessel, and then a bomb.

Now, I realize your calendar is in fun and that most people are smart enough to realize this, but if I was a betting man, there is more than one calendar owner who tries a new trick with duct tape everyday, and this one may result in disaster. You might want to consider this and think about removing it from future publications. --- Brian Schaub

Brian: Obviously one must crack open the lid of the can first to relieve the pressure which will result from the boiling bean sauce in the can. But, as you say - all of this is in "fun" and we don't recommend that anyone actually does any of it. I believe that each of our publications is disclaimered as such. Thanks for your concern - we will post this in the Duct Tape Diner to warn prospective bean-burn victims. Gotta go - something just blew up in our kitchen. --- The Duct

COLLEGE STUDENTS: We are still looking for the BEST DUCT TAPE DORM ROOM in the Country! Click the icon on the left to get full information about our new contest! HURRY! The deadline is March 28th, 2002.

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue is/was: Sophuichri@... Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of “Duct Tape on a Roll” Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/onaroll so they can SUBSCRIBE.

If you want OFF of our email list at any time, that’s fine with us, we don’t want to bother anyone with stuff they don't want. Just click here: REMOVE

May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Catch us in action! Check out our appearance calendar!

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02