The “BADGE of HONOR” If you have sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.

Looking for a great gift for dad? Pick up a copy of our latest book at your local bookstore (if they don't have it appropriately displayed, rearrange their store for us). Or, you can avoid leaving your house and get an autographed copy today from the Duct Tape Pro Shop (we'll even through in a complimentary Duct Tape Pro Bumper Sticker). There are also TONS of new t-shirt designs for you to choose from in sizes M-XXL - they'll fit ANY dad. (If dad is larger than XXL - cut a slit up the back of the shirt and extend the size with duct tape.)

Click here to become acquainted with our new book:
(Can you believe that nobody had that URL? Amazing!)

Grab the image above and email it to Dad... you won't need to buy a card.
Top Ten List features Duct Tape uses for Father's Day:
10. Remote Control Control: Duct tape the remote onto Dad’s arm so he never has to relinquish remote control use to the wife and kids.
9. Keep the junk mail and bills away by duct taping the mail box shut.
8. A gift necktie made entirely out of duct tape is not only a nifty fashion statement, but also resists stains from Dad’s spilling problem like the dickens!
7. Lower Dad’s receding hairline by applying a strip of duct tape from the forehead to the underside of chin.When Dad open’s his mouth it will pull that hairline right back down into place.
6. Dad’s hairline recession on it’s way down the BACK side of his head? Simply fashion a duct tape toupee andtape it onto Dad’s dome. He’ll be able to swim in it, play tennis in it, even bowl in it with complete confidence!
5. Cover Dad’s golf club head with duct tape—the impression that the ball makes in the tape will show himwhy he keeps getting that nasty hook or slice.
4. Soak strips of beef in marinade, then stick the strips of meat on a piece of duct tape hanging over the kitchensink (to catch the drips) until it air dries into a tasty beef jerky for Dad to enjoy at his next poker party.
3. Here’s another nifty gift idea: Grass Clipping Retrieval Shoes. Simply cover an old pair of snowshoes with duct tape, sticky-side-out, so Dad is picking up the grass clippings as he mows.
2. Another Bald Dad Hint: If Dad misses that fly-away hair look, duct tape a couple of pigeons to his head.
And the number one use for Duct Tape this Father’s Day: 1. Duct Tape the toilet seat UP!

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers: (Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'-4" (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my Boss collection of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Sure it's dumb, but... A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink. If you can't, then you buy ME one. Okay?" "Ya, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?" The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?" "It was ME," chortled the Indian. So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?" "Fair enough," said Sven. Okay . . . my fadder and mudder had vun
child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"
"Search me," said Sven. "I give up. Who vas it?" "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, Nort Dakota."

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

QUOTE O’ the ISSUE: "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" - Warren Hutcherson

Shopping Warning: FATHER’S DAY is JUNE 16th. ORDER by JUNE 11 to assure delivery of items from the Duct Tape Prop Shop!
Here is your chance to save big time on all SIX of our Books and our video!
In this newsletter-only offer, you can get our first three Duct Tape Books, our WD-40 Book, The Jumbo Duct Tape Book, and Duct Shui (a combined retail value of $56.75) for just $42.00! A great gift for your Duct Tape and WD-40 loving mom or dad for their special day(s) this spring. Or, heck, just get it for yourself. Everything (except the video) will be autographed to the person of your choice. And, both the Jumbo Duct Tape Book and Video have coupons for FREE flat packs of Duck® brand Tape - making this even a better deal. To get the special offer click here and you will be ordering securely online via CCNOW.

You can always get stuff from the Duct Tape Guys FREE. Postcards, bumper stickers, computer monitor desktops, even books! Check out our FREE STUFF area by clicking on the icon on the left.
Note: Some of you have sent requests without a self-addressed STAMPED envelope (SASE). Sorry, but these requests are NOT filled by our fulfillment person. So please remember to include a SASE!

(left) This couple from Soldiers Grove, Wisconsin models their medieval duct tape prom fashions. they are entered in Duck® brand's "Stuck at Prom" contest... Are you? Click the photo to see entrants from the past two years' contests.

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

Cosmetic Use I'm a girlie-girl who LOVES wearing make up. I have lots of colors of powdered eye shadow. The manufacturers of the stuff don't make the plastic powder holders very resilient. The things begin to crack and come apart while there is still a great deal of powder left. If it isn't covered then the powder starting flaking and the whole thing gets real messy real fast. I've found if I get out my trusty duct tape and place it over the top of the plastic holder it wil hold together until I've used up all my eye shadow. Maybe your female readers would like to know this little trick. --- Christina C.

Bouquet-Strengthener My sister got married in March and we used duct tape in her wedding. We were making her bouquet and realized we needed tape that would cover a large area to make it stable. I thought of duct tape. It worked perfectly. --- Amy J. Check out the Duct Tape Wedding click here.

Hospital Sunshade Yesterday, I saw a really neat duct tape usage in the medical records office at a local hospital (Bon Secours Hospital in Port Jervis, NY)
The late afternoon sun beats-in relentessly on the girls in the medical records office and management doesn't seem to care enough to get them some drapes or curtains or a shade. So...they got a white hospital blanket...and taped-it-up on the window... creating a design at the top using gradient descending pieces of duct tape. The they created pull-bags with
the duct tape to create a draping. C-L-E-V-E-R. See you in the next duct tape journals. --- Diane/Milford, Pa.


Real Life Flight Announcements:
"On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
(left) Todd Scott, a crazy Canadian sculpts with duct tape (Duck® brand Tape is his choice, too.) Here is a dandilion that won't be spreading around your yard - you just can't eat the greens in a salad (well, you could, but they would be rather flavorless and chewy). Check out more of Todd's duct tape artwork here. And, watch for Todd and the Duct Tape Guys on national television as we present the world's largest duct tape flag in New York's Union Square Park for flag day (we will unveil the 50 foot duct tape flag on June 13th).

Speaking of photos… Our new photo caption contest photo is waiting for your creative caption. Click here to try your luck and skill at writing a caption for this month's photo (deadline is June 25th).

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue is/was: Alex Cupples. Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of “Duct Tape on a Roll” Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Catch us in action in your area! Check out our appearance calendar!

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02