The “BADGE of HONOR” If you have sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Real Life Flight Announcements:
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying ________ Airlines." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

April Showers?
Duct Tape turns any item of apparel into rain ware!

Jim and Tim demonstrate the waterproof qualities of duct tape. In fact, that's why duct tape was invented; to keep the water (moisture) out of the ammunition boxes during World War II (so some good stuff DOES come out of war after all). This photo also happened to be the photo caption contest photo for March. To see the winning entries, and to take a crack at the new photo, click here: PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST

Duct Tape at War
Duct tape is still proving a valuable tool for the Military: CAMP VIPER, Iraq - Learning on Sunday that they had been considered missing in action was only the latest nightmare for eight Marines whose M1A1 Abrams tanks broke down in the Iraqi desert and lost contact with U.S. forces. The crew went to work fixing their tank with rope, communications wire and duct tape. For the full story from the Associated Press, click here.

We're sure there will be a lot more stories like this one. In fact, if you are military and would like to share your stories for our upcoming Armed Forces Edition, we're all ears! Click here for submission details.

Wear it on your chest! Show both your allegiance to your country and to your tape (assuming you hail from America). Even if you disagree with our nation's foreign policy, if you are embarrassed by our administration, you can still have pride in the fact that Duct Tape is an American invention. You can order yours at the Duct Tape Pro Shop for just $17 plus shipping. While you are at it, grab our Department of Government Recommended Stockpiling of Duct Tape Special - a book three (autographed) and our video combo and $18.95 retail value for just $10.00 plus shipping. Get it all at the Duct Tape Pro Shop.

The Duct Tape Guys™ are looking for your short stories about how you have saved money using duct tape. Submit your savings story (100 words or less) along with an approximate amount of money saved by using duct tape, a photo of the project or repair job if you have one, your name, city/state, and email address. We will select the best stories and post them here. The top three stories will get a nice supply of Duck® brand tape and a set of our duct tape books. Deadline for submissions is May 26th. Winners will be announced in the May issue of Duct Tape: On a Roll. Click here for more information.

Can Duct Tape Save the World?
Most of you, if you subscribe to our newsletter and visit our web site, are firm believers in the power of duct tape. But, can duct tape save the world? Can it fix broken peace? Can it help foreign relations? Can it help the impoverished and diseased of the world?

Share your ideas and we will post them in our next issue. Some of the more novel ideas will receive a duct tape book and a flat pack™ of Duck® brand duct tape. Think about it, compose your thoughts, then click here to submit: Save the World

Click to our Duct Tape Pro Shop apparel page for more information. Remember that you get a free flatpack of Duck® tape with your order while supplies last!

STUCK AT PROM - The 3rd annual Duck® brand "Stuck at Prom" contest is underway! Click here for to see some of the previous years' entries for inspiration. There is a link to Duck® brands' entry information page.

Helmet Enhancer I was driving down the freeway and saw a guy riding his motorcycle - he had his goggles duct taped to the back of his helmet. Not only did the duct tape do a wonderful job of holding the goggles securely in place at high speeds, it also doubled as a reflector. --- Michelle M.

Duct Tape as a Sport? I represent a site devoted to the emerging duct tape sport known as Stick it to the man with a fine roll of duct tape, or simply Stick-It for short. And I was wondering if you could plug or put a link to our site on your site. --- Stick-It Right Hand Man, William S. You got it, WS - we'll even show a photo of your "Presidente" Bill Conroy in action.

Duct Tape Mom If you are the Duct Tape Guys then I am the official Duct Tape Mom. I have always been prepared with duct tape for the past 20 years as I have been raising my four children. It has saved us on many occasions by holding together broken car parts when a repair place is nowhere in sight, helped with all kinds of school emergencies and projects. I even fixed the torn ducts of the heater in my attic with you know what... duct tape. My three must have items in my backpack: Duct tape, Swiss Army Knife (now I have to take it out before going to the airport) and your competition, WD40. With these items a Mom can turn from an ordinary Mom into a SUPERMOM. Other Moms just laugh at me, but they do not seem to have any trouble asking to borrow my essentials when needed. --- Terry B. We're not moms, but we aren't laughing at you, Terry. Tape on!

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

A much-needed humor break:

First, one for the gals:

Five Secrets to a Great Relationship:
1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans, and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn't lie.
4. It is important to find a man who is a romantic and a good lover.
5. It is important that these four men never meet.

Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.

Check out our t-shirts designed just for Moms in mind (and remember that Mother's Day is coming up soon! May 11th! They are on display now at the Duct Tape Pro Shop.You will need to order by May 6th to assure delivery for Mother's Day (U.S. only - elsewhere ordering even earlier is recommended)

I don't know if we've ever been in deep East Texas, but, as a tribute to the state that bred our Commander in Chief, and that Dixie Chick who recognizes her Constitutional right to speak what's on her mind...
You know you're from Deep East Texas when . . . .
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
...There were more, but you get the idea.

Stuck for a costume idea? Do what Jake of St. Paul, Minnesota did: Grab some long johns and a roll of red duct tape and become "Ethanol Man." (No explanation was given.)

To view other duct tape Superheroes, check our our Superheroes page.

Duct Tape Wallets Galore. Make your wallet out of duct tape and you are well on your way to saving money. Wrap your wallet with duct tape and you will save even more! Check out the myriad of duct tape wallets, purses, backpacks, clothes, etc. in our fashions pages.

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue : Woodsmom3qtz... Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of “Duct Tape on a Roll” Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE.

If you want OFF of our email list at any time, that’s fine with us, we don’t want to bother anyone with stuff they don't want. Just click here: REMOVE

May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03