The “BADGE of HONOR” If you have sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Real Life Flight Announcements:
"After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

Man, what a month February was!

When we named 2003 year the Year of Duct Tape (1/1/03), we had no idea that it would come to pass! But, thanks to the Department of Homeland Security, Duct Tape has been brought to the forefront of the American consciousness. We did over 80 interviews in two weeks about the sacred roll - everything from CBS Network News to MSNBC's Power Lunch, from the New York Times to USA Today... read our take on the whole phenomenon here: Homeland Security on a Roll.

New National Symbol?
Based on the importance placed on duct tape by the Dept. of Homeland Security, we are suggesting this slight revision to the Bald Eagle as the symbol of America. Thanks to Peter S. Weber for allowing us to use his beautiful bald eagle photograph. Check out Peter's other wild bird photos at Click on the photo to see a larger version that you can grab and pass along to your friends. The Media will need to contact Peter for a royalty-free contract prior to reprinting the image.

When will this all end? We hope never. We've always maintained that it's important to stockpile duct tape - because you never know when you will need it. Remember our motto: "It ain't broke, it just lacks duct tape." - which is always important, but especially during these economically hard times.

Wear it on your chest! Our shirt (prophetically produced in the summer of 2002) has been selling like hot cakes (or should we say, selling like duct tape). You can order yours at the Duct Tape Pro Shop for just $17 plus shipping. While you are at it, grab our Department of Government Recommended Stockpiling of Duct Tape Special - a book three (autographed) and our video combo and $18.95 retail value for just $10.00 plus shipping. Get it all at the Duct Tape Pro Shop.

Jumbo Duct Tape Book Boom! This whole DHS deal has propelled our Jumbo Duct Tape Book sales through the roof! The publisher was just forced to reorder 45,000 more copies bringing the total in print to 336,000! Perfect! Duct Tape Evangelism in full swing! Look for Jumbo at your local bookstore or get it at the Pro Shop.

Another contest:

The Duct Tape Guys™ are looking for your short stories about how you have saved money using duct tape. Submit your savings story (100 words or less) along with an approximate amount of money saved by using duct tape, a photo of the project or repair job if you have one, your name, city/state, and email address. We will select the best stories and post them here. The top three stories will get a nice supply of Duck® brand tape and a set of our duct tape books. Deadline for submissions is April 18th. Winners will be announced in the May issue of Duct Tape: On a Roll. Click here for more information.

Click to our Duct Tape Pro Shop apparel page for more information. Remember that you get a free flatpack of Duck® tape with your order while supplies last!

STUCK AT PROM - The 3rd annual Duck® brand "Stuck at Prom" contest is underway! Click here for to see some of the previous years' entries for inspiration. There is a link to Duck® brands' entry information page.
Gift on a Budget My husband and I were married in December of 2002. Our wedding was three days after Christmas and I really wanted to do something special for my little brother for his gift. We have a large family, so we draw names and buy only one gift instead of 7. My brother is a freshman in college, has a top bunk bed and has no where to sit when he comes home from class. I thought, "It would be really nice to get him a bean bag chair so he wouldn't have to sit on his roommates' beds." Well, did you know that beanbag chairs are expensive? I ruled out that idea and kept thinking. In the meantime, my (now) husband and I kept receiving wedding presents, packed in those little Styrofoam peanuts. I thought to myself, "What a pity that you can't use these peanuts for anything..." Eureka! The idea was born and I finally had a way to be resourceful and give my brother what I knew he wanted. I filled two trash bags with foam peanuts, stuck them together and covered them entirely with duct tape. It feels just like the vinyl on a beanbag chair, and can easily be repaired if it gets a hole in it! I mean, that's how people fix beanbag chairs anyway... duct tape!
Needless to say, he loved it, and the chair was the talk of his whole dorm. I was so inspired, I made one for my husband too. Each time the manufacturing method gets faster. Soon we'll have a factory! Enjoy these photos of the creation of the chair and of my husband enjoying it while playing Playstation 2. It's comfy too! --- Darcie L. Fort Worth, TX

Jump Start I recently had defibrillation training (you know the keen little machine that can save lives) and learned that the defibrillator pads might not stick to a hairy chest. Duct tape to the rescue!!!! Grab the duct tape, stick it on the chest hair and then rip it off, and then go going to save the person's life!!!!! I am in the environmental protection business, and we use duct tape to seal our Tyvek suits and full face air filters!!!! --- Reggie from PA We're thinking that pulling the duct tape off of a hairy chest alone will jump start the person! Check out our other medical uses. It's HMO on a Roll!

Duct Tape for World Peace (and Warm Hands) So we were on the bus to the anti-war protest in Washington D.C. when my best friend realized she forgot her gloves in her dorm room. I whipped out my roll of duct tape, and made her a pair of super insulated and very fashionable mittens. Her hands stayed warm all day, and everyone on the bus wanted a pair of their own. --- bluecanary

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:
This month we said good bye to a friend. When asked what he felt was most important to him, Fred Rogers said, "Our neighbors are those we happen to be with at the moment. Life is for service. We human beings are meant to be helpers. In fact, the greatest thing we can do in life is to help our neighbors come to know that they are lovable and capable of loving. Anyone who truly knows this will not lose hope - and therefore will not resort to violence." Thanks, Mister Rogers - we'll miss you, but you will live in all of the hearts you've touched.

These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:

1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor

Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.

Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2002 winners:
(edited by the Duct Tape Guys for all-age viewing)
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeer Effect: The tendency for stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
And, the winner of the Washington Post's Style Invitational:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a_ _hole.

I guess when you can't work on a Macintosh there are certain modifications that you have to make to get your PC to function correctly (like these fan adapters). Fortunately, we have duct tape.

Enter our latest Duct Tape Photo Caption Contest and see who won last month's contest. Click here.

You probably figured it out by now, but this whole site is created on a Mac by a Mac-Addict since 1984 ("I'm still trying to convert Jim." - Tim).

Duct Tape Ram Horn Enhancer. Envious that the other rams have bigger horns than you? No special pills are needed, it's duct tape to the rescue! Just build your horns as large as you like - their silvery glow will make you the king of the farmyard!

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue : Devon Palmer... Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of “Duct Tape on a Roll” Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE.

If you want OFF of our email list at any time, that’s fine with us, we don’t want to bother anyone with stuff they don't want. Just click here: REMOVE

May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03