The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
Quotes of the month:
“It helps to recall there have always been times like these.” Paul Harvey
"Some men are born with mediocrity, some men achieve mediocrity and some men have medioctiry thrust upon them." - Joseph Heller in his book, Catch 22
Thanks to Liggett • Stashower Public Relations for some of our quotes and trivia.
Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about serious issues that he feels are of importance.
These ideas are presented for your consideration, or your thoughtful rejection.
Tsunami! It's hard to imagine the loss and destruction that the tsunmai has caused - especially sitting in our comfortably warm homes hearing and reading news reports about the tragic event. It's even harder to imagine, in light of this natural disaster, that the Bush administration will be spending over $40 MILLION on their gala inaugural event that will last only a few hours. What's wrong with cookies and punch at the White House? The administration's embarrassingly low initial offering of aid of $15 million was quickly upped to $35 million after the world rebuked the gesture. Now, after further criticism, U.S. aid has risen to $350 million. Still a paltry amount if you consider that we have spent over $150 MILLION EACH DAY to fund Bush's war on Iraq (add it up - that's over 150 billion in the last 21 months). Also consider that we spend $225 MILLION on one F-22 Raptor fighter jet...
This is a good opportunity to shift gears as a nation. Let's quit being the bully on the block and start becoming (as one of Tim's wife's ninth grade students so wisely put it) the "Mother Country" - showing attributes of a mother (caring and nurturing) to those in need around the world.
Click here to access serveral links which will allow your family to personally donate to the Tsunami relief efforts. For our part, The Duct Tape Guys will be donating 10% of all net profits from sales at the Duct Tape Pro Shop to help those in need.
Trivia: Since 1960, Los Angeles has had 11,000 unsolved murders. Unfortunately, duct tape probably had something to do with some of the murders. Take a look at the darker side of duct tape on our Duct Tape Gone Wrong page.
Dale's Discoveries: (This is a new monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale discovers.)
Emailing List? Subscribe Now! Click here to get on the new list now! If you are getting our emails and don't want to, you need to click on the link above and follow the remove instructions (there is no way that we can remove your email for you).
January 2005 - The New Year Issue
If you can't read the stickers, they say:
We also ran across this photo (below) of the original Sistine Chapel ceiling painting (available as a print and a t-shirt at the Duct Tape Pro Shop). the original painting showed God handing a roll of duct tape to Adam.
Apologies For those of you who were offended by either or both of the items above, we apologize. We figure, being created in God's image, He/She must have a sense of humor. Besides that, just looking at Jim, you've got to figure that someone with a sense of humor was involved in his creation. We further apologize for the gender-inclusive pronouns that we used when talking about God - whom we figure is genderless.
The Duct Tape Guys' Urinal Collection Okay, we just realized, that if this issue is going to offend someone, we might as well go all out and offer something to offend everyone.:
We've just launched our ultimate duct taped urinal collection for your amusement. We've also extend our invitation for you to send in shots of urinals that you've found sporting duct tape in some fashion. Presumably, this is an activity in which only guys will be able to partake... But hey, gals, it may present the excuse you need to discover the gruesome world that is the men's room.
Click here to visit our new section and to get photo submission information.
Secret Super Saver Coming soon: 01/18/05 - 02/03/05 are the dates of our next sale at the Duct Tape Pro Shop. The sale is $5 off $50 purchase of our Apparel and Stuff items (doesn't include books or videos - they're already dirt cheap). on the 18th, insert the coupon code: VDAY50 when you order shirts, mugs, license plate frames, etc. at the Pro Shop. Click here.
Practical Joke du Jour (du Month)
Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.
Just like these people did:
Frame of Fame Hey Duct Tape Guys - I bragged to everyone about the fact that my question was a Hump Day Stump Day entry in your 2004 desk calendar. As a result, I got a terrific Christmas present from my friend Cindy. As you can see, it was a roll of Duct Tape, a 2005 Duct Tape desk calendar, and a framed copy of my question. Note the fact that the frame is trimmed with Duct Tape accents. Ah, the joys of Duct Tape. - Lloyd B. Rumble
... And Another Frame Job
Duct Tape Dress Form My wife sews. She had a hard time finding a form that she could work on for herself. I put her in a long tee shirt and wraped her up from neck line to knees. We used three roles of duct tape and after I was done we cut her out taped up the form,stuffed with cotton batting and pu on a stand set at her hieght. It worked sos well that one day a delivery man seeing the form in the window thought that my wife was home. She was not. It works great we used the form for three years. you have to be carefull when wraping a person. If you make it to tight they can't get their wind. and their legs will turn blue. - Dale E. B.
Blue Jay on a Roll Last minute Christmas present for my mommy. It turned out very well I think. - Paula, Vista, CA
Raccoon-Proofing I used duct tape over the holidays. I had an incident with a raccoon which invaded the attic to my house. I found out that it had ripped my dome cover off my power vent on the roof. Unfortunately, we were due for over 12 inches of snow. I had a sizable opening on the top of my house. So, being inventive since I can’t seem to find a replacement, I used a trash can lid to cover the opening. I used duct tape to secure it to the existing brackets on the power vent. It is a sight for sore eyes. - Cheryl Anderson
Shirt of the Month:
No Gut (no duct tape) No Glory. The perfect shirt for the portly duct tape user who is proud not only of their use of duct tape, but their massive Duct Tape Guy Gut! Available as t-shirts (men's and women's), baseball jerseys and sweats (regular or hooded). Click to the Duct Tape Pro Shop's apparel store. These make GREAT GIFTS!
Got an idea for a shirt? Look through our apparel offerings. If you don't see your idea, and we haven't used it in the past, we just might use it. If we produce it, we will send you a free shirt. (email your idea to email@example.com - put "shirt idea" in the subject line)
Want to be more creative? Stuck in a rut at your job? Need to lube your brain? Use the tried and true methods that have fueled the Duct Tape Guys for the past ten years with the Duct Tape Guys' FREE brainstorming curriculum. It makes a great teaching tool. We've posted it here for use by teachers, students... heck, anyone can use it!
Click to enter our photo caption contest! Click the link to see our previous monthly caption contest winners, too!
Words of Wisdumb
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the heck alone.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.
|If you spot duct tape - snap a photo and send it to us.
We'll add it to our Duct Tape Sightings pages. Make sure you tell us where the shot was taken!
|RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue: Nobert Blei - Congratulations! Email us your postal mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.
Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.
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May the Tape be with you!
Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04,
Tim (left), Jim (other left).