|The BADGE of HONOR If you have sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Real Life Flight Announcements:
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
If you're like us, and we know we are, you probably forgot all about Mother's Day coming up on May 11th. No need to rush out last minute to get mom flowers, just make your own! Go to our "How To" section to find out an easy 4-step method to make the rose on the left (based on a method originated by Canadian Duct Tape Sculptor, Todd Scott). Do the process 12 times and you will have a dozen roses for mom - roses that will never die! Click here for complete instructions: How to Make a Duct Tape Rose
Duct Tape Houses?
Duct Tape: Gender Neutral (Mom uses it, too!). Mother's Day is coming up on May 11th. You still have time to order Mom one of our mom design shirts from the Duct Tape Pro Shop for just $17 plus shipping. While you are at it, grab our Department of Government Recommended Stockpiling of Duct Tape Special - a book three (autographed) and our video combo and $18.95 retail value for just $10.00 plus shipping. Get it all at the Duct Tape Pro Shop.
Get four FREE Duct Tape Postcards from The Duct Tape Guys. Click here for more information.The free stuff on this page changes every two to three months - so keep checking back!
VERY VERY LAST CHANCE to Enter (we mean it this time):
The Duct Tape Guys are looking for your short stories about how you have saved money using duct tape. Submit your savings story (100 words or less) along with an approximate amount of money saved by using duct tape, a photo of the project or repair job if you have one, your name, city/state, and email address. We will select the best stories and post them here. The top three stories will get a nice supply of Duck® brand tape and a set of our duct tape books. Deadline for submissions is May 26th. Winners will be announced in the May issue of Duct Tape: On a Roll. Click here for more information.
Can Duct Tape Save the World?
Hey, we need more entries for this one - or we're not gonna have any winners! Most of the responses so far have dealt with putting duct tape over a few key mouths in Washington DC. Okay - we want OTHER ideas of how duct tape can save the world. Most of you, if you subscribe to our newsletter and visit our web site, are firm believers in the power of duct tape. But, can duct tape save the world? Can it fix broken peace? Can it help foreign relations? Can it help the impoverished and diseased of the world?
Share your ideas and we will post them in our June issue. Some of the more novel ideas will receive a duct tape book and a flat pack of Duck® brand duct tape. Think about it, compose your thoughts, then submit them to us:
Can Duct Tape prevent SARS? Cartoonist Aaron McGruder again found humor in duct tape in relation to the current SARS scare. Following through on a Department of Homeland Security idea that hundreds of cartoonists picked up on (see our collection here): Duct Tape Cartoons/DHS. David Letterman (or his writers) ripped off (or thought of) this same joke two days after this cartoon appeared.
Click to our Duct Tape Pro Shop apparel page for more information. Remember that you get a free flatpack of Duck® tape with your order while supplies last!
STUCK AT PROM - The 3rd annual Duck® brand "Stuck at Prom" contest is underway! Click here for to see some of the previous years' entries for inspiration. There is a link to Duck® brands' entry information page.
Rope on a Roll Hey on a trip into a cave system with boyscouts one of us got stuck down this one jole in the cave. The ground was so slick and wet that he couldn't climb up with out the use of a rope. But we DIDN'T have a rope so we made one out of duct tape. We torn off 15 foot strips or so and braided them for extra strength. Well he's alive now and surprised that the power of duct tape saved his life! --- Robert B., Casa Grande, Arizona
Catapult Helper Our school science olympiad team last year had a catapult compititon. Well, the people who were assigned to build the catapult hadn't had time to even start it but had broken a bridge in another competition before and still had the broken pieces of balsa wood. Five minutes before the competition, they built the catapult out of the spare pieces and alot of duct tape. As other teams went around looking at each others designs, they all laughed at the duct tape covered catapult. when time came to compete, everyone was still laughing yet they stopped when the kids took first place. Sadly that was the only competition we won that year, however, it was all because of the duct tape. --- Justine
Duct Tape in Foreign Affairs A few years ago, I went on a nine day tour of Europe, Austria, and Switzerland. Of course, for any trip, duct tape was with me all the way. It is a good thing too. Not only did I fix a pair of sunglasses for a girl, but we were with a group from New Jersey who had a frisbee. There frisbee broke solidly in half and they had heard that someone from our group had duct tape. I gave them the tape and for the next five days that I saw them, that frisbee flew as though it was brand new. --- Eric Savage
|Meet us at The Diner. Weve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you havent yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:|
A much-needed humor break:
Twelve things you should learn by age 40:
1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
2. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
3. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
4. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
5. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
6. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
7. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
8. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
9. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
10. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
12. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.
Check out our t-shirts designed just for Moms in mind (and remember that Mother's Day is coming up soon! May 11th! They are on display now at the Duct Tape Pro Shop.You will need to order by May 6th to assure delivery for Mother's Day (U.S. only - elsewhere ordering even earlier is recommended)
Stuff for guys to do while their wife (mom, girlfriend) is shopping:
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
|Duct tape is used by a lot of people to help their sick trees and shrubs. Sometimes birds manage to remove a piece for some next building material.|
|If you have a duct tape sighting you'd like to share, take a photo of it and send it to us - we'll use it either in our Duct Tape Diner, or on our Duct Tape Sightings pages. Click here for submission information.|
|Camo Jim. Jim wrapped himself in Duck® brand's camouflage duct tape and instantly became "The Invisible Man" - at least until he came in from the woods. Check out a similar photo of Jim photo test your creativity by writing an appropriate caption for it on our Photo Caption Contest. Click here for the current contest photo.|
|RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue : Elisabeth Rush. Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.
Well, thats it for this issue of Duct Tape on a Roll Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/onaroll so they can SUBSCRIBE.
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May the Tape be with you!