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Practical Joker's Handbook
Get 20% off until June 15th! click the book to order and insert the secret savings code below when you are asked for it!

When you're at the Pro Shop, make sure you check out our cool apparel, too.

SECRET SAVINGS CODE For our newsletter readers only: Enter this code when you purchase any item at the Duct Tape Pro Shop and get a Father's Day 20% discount (good through June 15th only!)

Quote of the month:
"If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home." - James Michener

Soapbox: While we're usually all about duct tape and humor, there's a serious side to us, too. We want to challenge our readers to become socially aware and active. This month: CLEAN WATER Click here to see the unique way that Healing Waters International is bringing clean water to developing countries.

June 2004 Edition

What To Get Dad for Father's Day?
Make dad a duct tape tie or wallet. The tie resists stains from dad's spilling problem like crazy, and the wallet will bring a ton of compliments! We think that you can figure out how to make the tie, but the wallet might be a bit more complicated - so we've posted directions. Click here to go to our how-to page. Remember, duct tape comes in a bunch of colors (and even clear and camoflauge, so there's a color to match dad's personality). Check out the whole Duck® brand pallet of colors and find out where to buy the colored tape at our Retail page.

What Does the President Do?
Here's the book that every voting American needs to get educated for this November's election It's another new book from Tim the Duct Tape Guy and his buddy Warren (the Peef Guy) - actually, its authored by 700 kindergartners! We interviewed 700 kindergartners and asked them what the President does. Their answers were innocent, insightful and downright hilarious. So, we put them in a new book: Kids Tell Us: What Does the President Do? You can read excerpts and order it online (or pick up a copy at your favorite book store). It's a great light-hearted alternative to the nasty, heavy political rhetoric that we'll be dealing until the November election. And, as Al Franken says, "It makes a great gift!" Check it out at

What's new on the duct tape web site?
We're always adding stuff in the Duct Tape Diner (see samples below), and the Bodyshop on a Roll areas (we're particularily proud of this page's sponsor, The Tom Ridge Autoglass Replacement Company). We have also added "Duct Tape Gone Wrong" a recognition of the darker side of duct tape. Perhaps the best way to discover the far-reaching corners of our site is to use the pull-down menu on our front page. As always, if you have stuff that you would like to contribute, feel free! Just follow the directions on our "Submit" page. Who knows, your submission might make it into one of our upcoming books or calendars. Tape on, dudes! - The Duct Tape Guys

Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival
This June 18 to 20, if you are anywhere near Avon (just west of Cleveland), Ohio, drop into the first Duct Tape Festival. The Duct Tape Guys will be performing Friday at 8pm and Sunday at 1pm. There will also be duct tape exhibits, crafts, games with duct tape, rides, a parade, car show and the Avon Firefighters' Steak Fry. More information at

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.

Just like these people did:

License Honors Dad My Dad was an old school sheet metal mechanic from way back, and Duct tape has been a staple to our existence ever since I can remember. We he passed on, I inherited his pickup truck and had it registered as shown to sort of pay my respects to him. He always had a great sense of humor, especially when it came to Duct tape and was the first to get me one of your calendars a few years ago. Just thought you'd like to see the plate. - Jim S.

Duck Brand Executives Rolling In Money
Three executives get down and dirty to earn money for charities at Henkel Consumer Adhesives’ 14th annual Duck Challenge Day (March 2004)

While the company was rolling in success stories from the past year at its annual Duck Challenge Day, the three executives were rolling in play money, trying to earn dollars for charities.

The executive who “adhered” to the largest amount of dollars won the most for his designated charity. Based on these executives’ results, three charities will receive donations from Henkel Consumer Adhesives. Brogan’s winning collection earned $2,500 for the Boys and Girls Club of Peel, a Canadian branch of the charity. John Kahl earned $1,500 for the Avon, Ohio, school system. Bill Kahl earned $1,000 for the Cleveland-based Esperanza Inc.

Clean Tomatoes My wife and I love home-grown tomatoes. However, I found that birds with loose bowels loved to perch on top of my tomato stakes. It was disgusting to go to the garden to pick some juicy tomatoes for dinner and find them covered with starling excreta. Duct tape to the rescue! I fastened 16d nails (pointed end up!) with duct tape to the top of each of my tomatoes stakes. Now my tomatoes stay clean and the birds get the point that they are not welcome in my garden. - Joe S.

Shirt of the Month:
Perfect for Father's Day (June 20th)
"Duct TapeDad" - Click to the Duct Tape Pro Shop for this and other shirt designs that are perfect for your duct tape lovin' dad (grandpa, husband, brother, uncle, etc.). Remember, dad couldn't be dad without duct tape! Make sure you order by June 15th or we can't ship in time for Father's Day! Remember to enter the code below for a 20% Father's Day Discount (for our newsletter subscribers only).
Code: C8ARJ2

Your caption?

Click to enter our photo caption contest! Click the link to see our previous monthly caption contest winners, too!

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts.
10)The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.

See all of our duct tape sightings from around the world at our duct tape sightings pages. Got some sightings of your own? Don't be shy, send them our way!

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue: Dan Dankle - Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04,

Tim (left), Jim (other left).