|The BADGE of HONOR If you have sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Duck Tape Anagrams:
(Thanks to Laurie S. for this DUCK adaptation of last issue's anagrams.)
Anagrams for duck tape:
deck up at
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
New Stuff at DuctTapeGuys.com
Where to buy colored duct tape. In conjunction with this book (which utilizes a ton of colored Duck® brand tape) - and by popular demand - we have posted an entire page dedicated to helping you find a store in your area that sells colored duct tape. You can see the page now by clicking here. And, watch for an announcement of new colors in the Duck® lineup this fall!
Tribute to Jim's Ridiculous Overuse of Duct Tape. Back in 1994, Jim's overuse of duct tape became the inspiration for the first Duct Tape Book, when our family (Jim is my brother-in-law) all sat around laughing at Jim's tool of choice. Just last week we attended Jim's son's high school graduation party at the Berg household. Digital camera in hand, I started snapping pictures of Jim's duct tape uses. Some of them are featured in our Duct Tape Sightings pages. In fact, I dedicated a whole page to Jim. Click here.
2003 Stuck at Prom entries posted! For the third year in a row, Duck® brand has sponsored their cool "Stuck at Prom" contest - in which high school students compete for scholarships by creating their prom outfits entirely from duct tape. This year's entries were phenominal! (Also quite irritating for us judges who found it nearly impossible to pick the winners!) We have culled out some of our favorites (almost 100 of 'em) and posted them in the prom viewer in our fashion pages. The winners will be notified in early July!
Get four FREE Duct Tape Postcards from The Duct Tape Guys. Click here for more information. The free stuff on this page changes every two to three months - so keep checking back!
RumperSnickers "Something Funny on Your Butt" are Tim (the Duct Tape Guy's) latest brain fart (idea). Check out the new "bottom line" in fashion: Click to: www.rumpersnickers.com
As Americans, we hold many differing political views - that's the beauty of America and the byproduct of our freedom. But we can be united in on thing: Our True Colors! Red, white, blue... and gray. This patriotic duct tape t-shirt design says it all. The one tape that holds our world together. This shirt is now available at the Duct Tape Pro Shop.
Olympic Camera Modification When the 2002 Sydney Olympics needed a camera modification for the coverage of the Men's Marathon, Darryl Smith grabbed his roll of duct tape. (photo on right)
Miles from Nowhere, Duct Tape Holds We were out in the Alaskan bush on the Tanana River. More than 40 miles from the nearest town, or human, when our boat started to lose power. Removing the cover off the motor revealed the oil plug missing. We do carry extra oil but not an extra oil cap! Eyeing a spare boat hull plug we tried that. It was too small a diameter to sufficiently seal off the hole. Well, duct tape to the rescue! We wrapped that hull plug until it could be tightly wedged into the oil cap hole and voilá! We were able to continue on with our journey that lasted three days. And the duct tape oil plug held the whole way! --- Samuel P.
Blister Preventer I was at the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Boston two weekends ago and one woman had both of her feet wrapped in duct tape in order to prevent blisters! She even carried a roll with her for other women to use and the idea caught on! Duct tape + 39.3 miles = Blister-free feet and lots of happy women! Also, yesterday my vaccum bag ripped so we duct taped it closed. Thanks guys, --- Kelly B. from PA
Mosquito Removal Device One night I was outside with my family enjoying the beautiful night air, when all of the sudden, a bunch of masquitoes started eating us alive! So ya know what I did? I went and got a tennis racket and wrapped it with duct tape sticky side out and flung it around at the masquitoes! Believe it or not, it tool care of most the pest problem! -- Jeff M., Lehi, Utah
Lunch Bag Helper I carry my lunch to work in a particular size brown paper bag that I get from a grocer. I use the same bag over and over for many days. Sometimes I extend the life of the bag by repairing small rips with duct tape. This way I can continue to use the bag until I get another like it. --- Robert C. Great idea! Here's an improvement on your idea: In our show we make a reusable lunch bag by duct taping over a paper bag. Also - freeze a water-soaked sponge in a plastic baggy. Duct tape the sponge bag securely onto the side of your reusable lunch bag - refreeze the bag every night - you will have a mini refrigerator for your lunch.
Humor: Unproofed church bulletin text
Sometimes people (including ourselves) don't proof stuff they write very carefully. Church is one of the places where unproofed text can turn into some pretty good humor. Take these bulletin excerpts for example:
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Will Hell Be Like?" Come early and hear our choir and organ.
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Sunday School: Children will be led in sinning and Bible study.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
Announcement in a church bulletin for a national Prayer and Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals."
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
The rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."
The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
Potluck tonight: Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. Prayer and medication to follow.
Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.
Always a deal at the Pro Shop: Buy any t-shirt at the Duct Tape Pro Shop and nab a bumper sticker and Duct Tape Book Two, Real Stories for only $2! ($7.95 value!)
|Tom Ridge Auto Glass Replacement Company Another use for your stockpiled duct tape and plastic sheeting.|
|Like coming up with captions for photos? Visit our Photo Caption Contest - a new photo every month (with the new newsletter). You can win fabulous prizes and have fun at the same time! Click here.|
|Speaking of Tom Ridge: Since apparently only the rich will be benefiting from Bush's tax cuts - and since the Democrats have chosen to relinquish the power they once had to the new American Imperialism - there may be good reason why the Department of Homeland Security had us stock up on Duct Tape! With plastic sheeting and cardboard boxes, it creates affordable housing for America's growing population of under and unemployed citizens. (2004 is coming... get out and vote!)|
|RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue : Zachary Marimon. Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.
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May the Tape be with you!
Tim (left), Jim (other left).