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If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

Click to our Duct Tape Pro Shop books page for more information. Remember that you get a free flatpack of Duck® tape with your book or video order while supplies last!

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Quote of the month:
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks to Liggett • Stashower Public Relations for some of our quotes and trivia.

Soapbox: There's a pretty good chance that the familiar holiday tradition of ringing bells and red kettles won't be heard, nor seen, outside your neighborhood mega store this season! Click here to donate to the Salvation Army online using our kettle.

Trivia: In Helsinki, Finland. Do you come back to your illegally parked car to find a parking ticket? No. You come back to find a flat tire. That's how the Finnish police punish "misparkers."

In Mexico City, should you have to wait long to catch a cab? Nope. They have the largest fleet in the world - 60,000! New York City by comparison has 40,000.

Deal of the Month
Visit the Duct Tape Pro Shop and check out the Holiday Trilogy pack deal. Get our second and third books (autographed of course) with our video, a bumper sticker, and a flat pack of Duck® brand duct tape. This deal is worth over $28 for just $15!

December 2004 - Winter Holiday issue

It's beginning to look a lot like duct tape! The holidays are no time to forget about duct tape - especially now with all of the color available, it comes in handier than ever for decorating, gift wrapping (for the gift that says, "open me eventually"), cleaning, even gift creation (check out our make-it-yourself page).

Stephanie made these winter decorations out of duct tape. No instructions needed, just get out your tape and start messin' around with it. Eventually, you will have created the ultimate conversation piece for your holiday party.

Hear the worst rendition of Oh, Holy Night ever recorded. Click here (we recommend emptying your bladder first).

Gift ideas for your Duct Tape Pro! Visit our new and improved Duct Tape Pro Shop to see all of the new stuff that we have in store. Of course our famous t-shirts, but now sweats, boxers, caps, flying discs, mugs, license plate frames, and a ton of other stuff. Here are just a few of the items that you will find at the new Duct Tape Pro Shop (just in time for holiday gifting).

Don't forget our books! If you don't have all six duct tape books, our WD-40 book and our video, you're missing an essential part of your library! We just signed the contract for BOOK SEVEN in our trilogy! So, catch up on your reading before our next tome comes out. Check the Pro Shop for our books - some of which are specially priced right now! Book seven will be, "Stump the Duct Tape Guys" - more information on that book in the coming months.

Introducing: Duct Tape Ball! Check this out:

Click to for more information and laughs.

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.

Just like these people did:

Duct Tape Lasagna Sealer Why waste your money on fancy Tupperware? Use duct tape to secure the sides - Here my kids proudly displaying their Christmas lasagna that grandma secured with duct tape. - Kathy B., Trenton, OH

Hospital Sunshade

Yesterday, I saw a really neat duct tape usage in the medical records office at a local hospital (Bon Secours Hospital in Port Jervis, NY) The late afternoon sun beats-in relentessly on the girls in the medical records office and management doesn't seem to care enough to get them some drapes or curtains or a shade. So...they got a white hospital blanket...and taped-it-up on the window... creating a design at the top using gradient descending pieces of duct tape. The they created pull-bags with the duct tape to create a draping. C-L-E-V-E-R. See you in the next duct tape journals. --- Diane/Milford, Pa.

Camp Mouse-Away I go to camp in the summer, and our bunk was close to a wooded area, and we had a little problem with the mice in there. We weren't allowed to get any mouse traps or poison, so i grabbed my trusty roll of duct tape and taped all the holes shut. Lets just say we never saw any mice in there again, and our stashes of junk food were saved. --- Casey P, NY

Thumbbody got a Stronger Bandage? I cut my thumb washing dishes and it wouldn't stop bleeding and I used many bandages. Then I thought "well let's try this" so I wrapped it up in clean band aids and ... That's Right - Duct Taped it to stop the flow of blood. I walked around all day with duct tape on my thumb. --- Warren C., Burnaby BC

Cosmetic Use I'm a girlie-girl who LOVES wearing make up. I have lots of colors of powdered eye shadow. The manufacturers of the stuff don't make the plastic powder holders very resilient. The things begin to crack and come apart while there is still a great deal of powder left. If it isn't covered then the powder starting flaking and the whole thing gets real messy real fast. I've found if I get out my trusty duct tape and place it over the top of the plastic holder it wil hold together until I've used up all my eye shadow. Maybe your female readers would like to know this little trick. --- Christina C.

Shirt of the Month:
Our newest design is "Will Duct Tape for Food" - our hottest seller since we switched t-shrit vendors to CafePress. Available as t-shirts (men's and women's), baseball jerseys and sweats (regular or hooded). Click to the Duct Tape Pro Shop's apparel store. These make GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFTS!

Got an idea for a shirt? Look through our apparel offerings. If you don't see your idea, and we haven't used it in the past, we just might use it. If we produce it, we will send you a free shirt. (email your idea to - put "shirt idea" in the subject line)

Be Creative!
Want to be more creative? Stuck in a rut at your job? Need to lube your brain? Use the tried and true methods that have fueled the Duct Tape Guys for the past ten years with the Duct Tape Guys' FREE brainstorming curriculum. It makes a great teaching tool. We've posted it here for use by teachers, students... heck, anyone can use it!
Your caption?

Click to enter our photo caption contest! Click the link to see our previous monthly caption contest winners, too!

Humor for your family holiday gatherings (depending on your family).

A Polish immigrant goes to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an eye test. The optician shows him a card with the following letters:
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know the guy.

Use this one at work or school on December 7th:
"I have a crazy neighbor who's half Swedish and half Japanese. Every December 12th he attacks Pearl Olson."

One day at the horse track

Bubba was from Alabama and was, a hard-shell Southern Baptist. He loved to sneak away to the race track. One day he was there betting on the ponies and losing his shirt when he noticed a priest step out onto the track and bless he forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Bubba was most interested to see what the priest did in the next race. Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the horses for the fifth race lined up, and placed a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Bubba made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Bubba collected his winning and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, Bubba bet on it, and it won! Bubba was elated!

As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always came in first. Bubba began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on. True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses. Bubba bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last.

He was dumbfounded. He made his way to the track and when he found the priest. He demanded, "What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now I've lost my savings, thanks to you!!"

The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you Protestants... .you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites."

Click here to see Tim's latest Duct Tape Pros cartoons.

If you spot duct tape - snap a photo and send it to us. We'll add it to our Duct Tape Sightings pages.

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue: Kerry Orvis - Congratulations! Email us your postal mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04,

Tim (left), Jim (other left).