The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
Quote of the month:
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."
"Hey, Tim. Did George finally become a woman, or did Mary Ann become a man?"
"Don't you have something you need to duct tape, Jim?"
Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about serious issues that he feels are of importance.
Above the Law? Is anyone (including the President) that is "above the law?" click here.
What's all this about Global Warming? Find out a little bit more about global warming and pass along the information to your friends and relatives by way of this fun little animation called, "Climate Mash."
Don't Use Big Words
In promulgating your esoteric cogitations, or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable, philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness, a compact comprehensibility, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations.
Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and veracious vivacity, without rhodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolixity, psittaceous vacuity, ventriloquial verbosity, and vaniloquent vapidity. Shun double-entendres, prurient jocosity, and pestiferous profanity, obscurant or apparent.
In other words, talk plainly, briefly, naturally, sensibly, truthfully, purely. Keep from slang; don't put on airs; say what you mean; mean what you say.
And DON'T USE BIG WORDS!
As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.
Cookin' with Duct Tape:
Jim's sister (Tim's sister-in-law) came up with a little gourmet snack that resembled the flavor of White Castle Burgers, with a rye twist. We call them Sherrie's Velveeta Sliders. Don't let the name scare you, Sherrie is actually a really good cook and these little gems are worth a try! click to our "Cookin's with Duct Tape" page for the recipe
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Duct Tape Calendar Fix
Eight Worst Convenience Foods
There is an internet filtering service called "What would Jesus view?" What an interesting question. So I thought about it, and I am not sure that Jesus would really need the internet.
And finally, this Dale concept coupled with Tim's execution:
New Button (finally)
And, our new Bumper Sticker is printed too. they are available now at the Duct Tape Pro Shop and come free with many combo specials.
Duct Tape Post Cards - just a BUCK!
Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.
Just like these people did:
Dog Collar Zapper Protector I have 2 really big dogs and an invisible fence to keep them in the yard. One dog destroyed the other dog's electrical zapper collar. Great to chomp down on when rough housing in the back yard. ($150 expense for replacement collar!) I now put about 6 layers of duct tape to secure the battery and protect the electronics. I get about 2 months of "dog abuse" with this great idea. - Tim M-V
Ridin' with Duct Tape I keep a downsized spool of 4 inch wide duct tape in the saddlebag of my Harley, aside of many obvious practical uses, I find the 4 inch wide tape makes excellent instant chaps, when there's unforeseen weather changes. - Carrie
Wart Remover Recommendation Every user wishing to remove a wart should know this! After much trial and error, I have found that DUCK brand duct tape sticks to the skin better and longer than 3M brand duct tape. - Dan S., Midland, Michigan
Cockroaches Foiled by Duct Tape!
Burning Man Every year I go to Burning Man in Nevada which is THE duct tape capital of the world. New uses for duct tape are greatly appreciated over there. The best one I saw last year was a group of people walking along with quarts of beer duct taped to their hands. I asked them why they had their beers duct taped to their hands and they said they didn't have to worry about putting their beers down anywhere and forgetting them. It was one less thing to remember. Things get pretty screwy at Burning Man. One year we made a complete dress on my sister in law in duct tape. It looked really cool, but at the end of the night we had to cut it off her with scissors. Oh yeah, everything at Burning Man is held together with duct tape.- Kay
Got an idea for a shirt? Look through our apparel offerings. If you don't see your idea, and we haven't used it in the past, we just might use it. If we produce it, we will send you a free shirt. (email your idea to email@example.com - put "shirt idea" in the subject line)
|Got a good duct tape use photo? send it into our Duct Tape Diner and we'll post it! Make sure you include your first name (and/or initials) and city/state.|
THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIE INDUSTRY
Click here to listen to the Duct Tape Guys early radio bits, "Duct Tape Talk".
|If you spot duct tape - snap a photo and send it to us. We'll add it to our Duct Tape Sightings pages. Make sure you tell us where the shot was taken!|
|Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.
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May the Tape be with you!
Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05,
Tim (left), Jim (other left).