The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
Quote of the month:
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about serious issues that he feels are of importance.
"To begin your 15-minutes of frustration, press ONE."
Check out the solution to some of the world's water problems that has been created by Tim's friends at Healing Waters International.
Straight Laced - Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in "straight laced". . . wore a tightly tied lace.
Gossip - Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip."
Cookin' with Duct Tape:
Sorry. No specific recipe this month. Besides, we're still full from the holidays. So, we're directing you to our Cookin' with the Duct Tape Guys page to check out all of our recipes. click to our "Cookin's with Duct Tape" page for an archive of our wonderful recipes
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Duct Tape Browsing
Reminder guys - make your dinner reservations, now!
VALENTINE'S DAY TRIVIA
• 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine's Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.
• 15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day.
• About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. That's the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.
• About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets.
• California produces 60 percent of American roses, but the vast number sold on Valentine's Day in the United States are imported, mostly from South America. Approximately 110 million roses, the majority (red), will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period.
• February 14, 270 A.D. : Roman Emperor Claudius II, dubbed "Claudius the Cruel," beheaded a priest named Valentine for performing marriage ceremonies. Claudius II had outlawed marriages when Roman men began refusing to go to war in order to stay with their wives.
• Hallmark has over 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day.
• In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.
• In the United States, 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts.
• 100 percent of (two out of two) Duct Tape Guys forgot to get their honey a Valentine's card last year and then fashioned one out of pink and red duct tape.
When you drive into the train stations for the Metro in Washington D.C. you have a choice of two separate lanes that you can enter. One is for people who are parking their cars and the other is for those who are dropping passengers off. The one for the parking lane is labeled "Park and Ride" and the one for dropping off is labeled "Kiss and Ride". The first time I saw that I thought it was very clever but it might make it a little awkward for people who are getting dropped off in a cab.
Bumper Crop Remember, our new Bumper Stickers are now available - shiny black and fully weather-proof. They are available now at the Duct Tape Pro Shop in three packs for just $5 and also come free with many combo specials. Or, for a limited time, you can send $1.00 and get one delivered to your U.S. mailing address. Just send $1 with a self-addressed, stamped (39¢) #10 (business-sized) envelope to: Duct Tape Guys Bumper Sticker
Tim's taken to painting:
Calling all cheapskates!
Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.
Just like these people did:
The Duct Tape Demolition Dude Leroy uses duct tape when doing remodeling demolition to seal off ductwork, drains and pipes - keeping them free from debris.
Pocket Patch Everyone knows how annoying it is to have holes at the bottom of your pockets. For some unknown reason, it seems like I always manage to put my valuable items in the bad pocket. Why just today I had a pencil, pen, and my car/room keys through that dreadful opening. I suppose the best answer to my problem would be to sew the hole shut. However, I don‚t own a sewing machine and I certainly am not going to go out and spend hundreds of dollars on one of these machines just to fix a cheap pair of pants. This is where duct tape comes into play. Just invert the pockets and place a piece of duct tape over hole and the pockets are as good as new. - Andy Overy
Duct Tape: Prototyping Tool Here is a photo (right) of a working prototype of an Internet-based pet treat dispenser I invented. The first working model relied heavily on duct tape as you can see. This gizmo allows me to give my dogs treats while I'm away from home. - Gary
Another use for duct tape on the farm:
Got an idea for a shirt? Look through our apparel offerings. If you don't see your idea, and we haven't used it in the past, we just might use it. If we produce it, we will send you a free shirt. (email your idea to email@example.com - put "shirt idea" in the subject line)
|Got a good duct tape use photo? send it into our Duct Tape Diner and we'll post it! Make sure you include your first name (and/or initials) and city/state.|
|Duct Tape at the Miss America Pageant Rob G. found this on the CNN.com site (AP photo) Adrienne Rosel, Miss Kansas, poses for a photo Thursday as she enters the dressing room during rehearsal for the 2006 Miss America Pageant at the Aladdin Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. It seems duct tape now helps to preserve the virtue of Miss America contestants, as well!|
Jesus was a...
There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.
Click here to listen to the Duct Tape Guys early radio bits, "Duct Tape Talk".
|If you spot duct tape - snap a photo and send it to us. We'll add it to our Duct Tape Sightings pages. Make sure you tell us where the shot was taken!|
|Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.
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May the Tape be with you!
Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06,
Tim (left), Jim (other left).