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Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we will always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:

Quotes of the Month:
"The purpose of art is washing the dust of life off of our souls." - Pablo Picasso

Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about issues that he feels are of importance.
It has challenging stuff to think about during your duct taping projects. If you want a dose of stuff to think about click here. If you don't want to, that's okay. Tape on! Here is a brief intro to what's in this month's SOAPBOX:

No health insurance? You're not alone. 47 million Americans don't have health insurance. And those that do, are surprised to find out how little their insurance covers - and at great expense. Michael Moore's new movie is in the theatres now. To watch the trailer click here.

Are you on our e-mail list?
Click here - to subscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim

Tim's Web Pick of the Month:

What happens when Graphic Artists Get Bored?
Give them a photo, Photoshop, and a challenge and the results are... interesting to say the least. Check out this compilation of Photoshop entires from "" which has been made into a slideshow and posted on here.

Stuck at Prom Update
The winners of the 2007 Duck® brand "Stuck at Prom" contest will be announced on or before July 11th. The voting by the judges has narrowed the field down to 10 finalists. You can see these talented couples at Duck Tape's web site here.

Duct tape crafters will be happy to know that Duck® brand Duct Tape now has 20 colors of duct tape now - including new Chrome and Clear. See their entire collection of colors and find out where to purchase them here.

We've long been associated with and recommending Duck brand tape - for a number of reasons. Their tape is always the highest quality. They have the most tape-related innovations (Duck brand was the first company to come out with CLEAR duct tape). They figured out that a plastic roll wrap would prevent duct tape from sticking onto itself on store shelves. They invented the "Flat Pack" (which sadly is not longer available). There's many more reasons why we recommend Duck® brand tape, but aside from the reasons that will become obvious when you pick up and use their product, they are a group of really nice people - who love to have fun in promoting their products - and what's duct tape if not FUN?!

July 2007

Duct Tape Wars
Our friend Benny in Germany found a site that shows some guys making a Duct Tape Server (using the wrong brand of duct tape, but never-the-less, it was duct tape). You can see that here.

But what we found more interesting was Duct Tape Wars - where the same guys entered a competition to build something that would protect an egg from a two story drop. Team "Boom" Tape won. Watch their solution to the challenge here.

This is a great idea for a group activity (we think this one was a German event based on the German being spoken during one of the videos. If you are looking for more Duct Tape Games (olympic-style) turn to our own collection here.

The cost of war Thank you for obliging us with a detour from our usual tour through all things trivial, humorous and duct tape last month. We felt the need to reflect for a moment on the gravity of the situation in country/world and relied on a Bill Moyers' special called "The Cost of War" to do so. We got a few comments - mostly positive. We've posted a couple of them below along with the one, solitary negative comment (in the interest of full-disclosure):

Thank you. Much as I look forward to your regular issues, thank you.
By the way. After the recent vote on the Supplemental Appropriations Bill, I changed my party affiliation of 36 years and became an independent and wrote to the DNC to say what I'd done. If a lot of folks of both parties did that, do you think anybody in Congress would take notice? - Kay R.

Painful and sobering -- but necessary. Thank you. - Melinda

Bill Moyer, what crap! - Terry O'Brien (it's Moyers, with an "s", Terry)

6 minute video- poignant and painful, but very important to watch. Good job being ethically aware, Duct Tape Dudes. - Jana

Duct Tape Dispenser? Our usual deludge of email contained one note from Becky that we thought we'd share with our readers. You read the commentary, check out the product web site, then let us know what YOU think about this "revolutionary new device."

So, I was on your website, it was great fun, BUT, there is nothing about a duct tape dispenser? So, I went searching at I found one. A man and his wife invented my great dream. I had to order one.I got it within' the week and this thing is so awesome. I can find my duct tape every time, at last,A Traverse City man, Rick Steele and his wife Wendy invented what the "DUCT TAPE" world was missing. You gotta get one, so easy to tear and it's the best investment of my life,and I'm just a girl, haha, ok a duct tape usin' woman....Check it out, for the sake of all duct tape users and abusers in the world, put it on your site. - Becky B.

Your HAND is a duct tape dispenser!You need no other gizmos or tools with it. That's the beauty of duct tape. So, what you have mentioned is a totally useless tool. We told them so when they sent it to us looking for an endorsement. Sorry - we disagree. - Duct Tape Guys

So, what you're saying is, you never misplace the roll? I do that all the time. I always thought that too, but now, it's so much better. Whatever, everyone has their opinion. - Becky

Two options - buy more rolls (we have at least ten in each room of the house), or buy brighter duct tape - like Duck brand's blaze orange X-Factor Tape (you'll always see that!). What makes you think you'll never misplace your dispenser? I have two packing tape dispensers and I can find either one of them. - DTG

I can't misplace a dispenser that is hung on the wall in my closet, actually, I lost my bright red duct tape all the time. Wow, you really hate that thing don't you? I love it, really. And, it's easier to tear, yeah, I struggled with that too. - Becky

So, hang your duct tape roll on the closet wall. We just think it's a product that's not needed. But, here it is, in full color along with a link to their web site - free publicity for the stupid thing. Come to think of it, maybe if they packaged one of our books with each of their little dispensers, we'd think more highly of it...
Nah!- DTG

This newsletter is sponsored in part by Duck brand Duct Tape - Home of The Original Duck Tape Club.

and by:

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

We are moving our family to Colorado this month. That is as good a reason as any to look over basically everything you own and decide what is really important
to you. I absolutely could not believe how much stuff we have managed to accumulate. I have no idea who gave us citronella candles shaped like beer mugs but I am
definitely getting rid of them. I can just imagine sitting outside having a few beers and accidently picking up one of those and taking a sip.

And we have boxes of little things that relatives gave us for various ocassions. I have no idea what it is about celebrating the birth of Christ that makes people think that you have a burning desire for a Chia Pet.

We are getting rid of a lot of things. One thing we are keeping though is the book "Clutter's Last Stand" by Don Aslett. I finally found it under a whole pile of junk.

Yes, I was feeling rather liberated and generous in my "regifting" of our belongings. I'd benevolently toss the stuff out of the window onto our lawn - free for all to partake of. The only thing is that none of the townspeople came by to pick it up. It is still sitting on the lawn if you want to come by.

Dale's Website Discovery of the month:

I have no idea if I already did this one or not. I have no time to check it out though since I am up to my ears in boxes. What's the worst that will happen? You'll see it twice. If I had more time, I would probably do many of the things that the agents here do: Improv Everywhere

Happy Summer.

World's Oldest Existing Roll of Duct Tape?

We ran into Louis W. at the Orchard Suppy Hardware How-To Fair and he showed us a roll of duct tape from 1958. He said it was from the Korean War. Well, sorry Louis, it looks like it might be that old, but there are a couple of problems with your story: The Korean War ended in 1953, and zip codes (see inside of roll) were not introduced until 1963. And, Tim, being a graphic designer, thinks the logo looks more like the 1970s, design-wise. If there are any ARNO employees that can correctly identify the age of Louis' roll of duct tape, please let us know and we'll post it here.

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

"Scottish" Tape?
While at the New Hampshire Scottish Highland Gamers, the strongmen managed to crack the CABOR (a 12 foot wooden pole they try to throw, end over end). The picture on the right shows Sven Gustavson the overall winner, lifting the duct taped Cabor. Will the uses of duct tape ever end? - John G.

Bridgette's Menagerie
We met Bridgette S. of Martinez, California at one of our shows. Not only was she wearing one of our own "Queen of Duct Tape" t-shirts (available at the Duct Tape Pro Shop), she brought with her a bunch of stuff that she fashioned out of duct tape. Included in her collection were a wallet, purse, a wide assortment of animals including one that ate and pooped duct tape. Nice work, Bridgette! You absolutely qualify to wear that shirt!

Flush those Auto Flush Troubles Away!
Ever sit on a toilet that has one of those auto-flush sensors on it and get a surprise bath for your bottom when you lean forward on the seat? Put a little strip of duct tape over the sensor eye and you'll stay dry until you are done. Then, just remove the tape to flush.

Duct Tape: it will never let you down...
When my #1 child, Stefanie, went to Pitt as a freshman in 2001, the last thing I gave her, with a little speech was a roll of Duct Tape. I said something like "friends will let you down, things will break and need fixing and I won't be here to help, but this will never, ever let you down." She thought it was the dumbest thing in the world and very stupid.
It took a few months I think, but she told me on the phone that the Duct Tape is very useful. I bit my lip...
Anyway, she is getting married this Saturday to a great young man. I told my wife that during the evening dinner when I am supposed to toast them, I am going to give her and him a couple of rolls of Duct Tape, saying something like, "each of you must give 110% to make a marriage work, at times he or she will let you down and you must work through the problem, forgive and forget it, and another will come along and you must do the same thing with that one...each of you may at times let each other down, but THIS (giving each of them a bag with a roll of DT inside) will NEVER, EVER let you down." - Dave D., Landisville, PA

Eulogy for a Friend
Please join The Duct Tape Guys in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Pain in the Ass Formula
For any of you who have done charitable work, work for non-profits, freebees for friends and acquaintances... You probably can relate to this never-failing formula:

The size of the pain in the ass of any given project is inversely proportional to the square of the budget: Double the budget and the PITA (Pain-In-The-Ass) drops by a factor of 4; Cut the budget in half and the PITA quadruples. It follows that the PITA of a freebie is infinite.

Only in America
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. banks leave their vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06, 6/06, 7/06, 8/06, 9/06,10/06,11/06, 12/06, 1/07, 2/07, 3/07. 4/07, 5/07, 6/07. 7/07,

Tim (left), Jim (other left).