The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we will always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:
Quotes of the Month:
Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about issues that he feels are of importance.
Putting it all in perspective
Music to Duct Tape by...
Steely Dan has been a long-time favorite of Jim and Tim. It's still hip today after all these many years. For all things Steely Dan including their 2007 tour schedule, audio and video clips, click to the official Steely Dan web site.
Click here - to subscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim
The erroneous phone bill
After listening to this recorded phone conversation - refer to the check image below to see how the guy finally paid for the erroneous bill.
How's Your Prom Dress Coming?
The Duck® brand duct tape Stuck at Prom® Scholarship Contest is on now - challenging high school students to create and accessorize their prom formalwear with America's favorite fix-all - duct tape. And, for the first time, this year it's the public's choice as to who's got the hottest fashions. Online public voting will decide the winning couple from the top 10 finalists. The couple winning the first place title will recieve a $6000 cash scholarship for college!
So, get your plans drawn up, go out and stock up on any or all of Duck® brand's 20 colors and patterns of duct tape and get busy creating YOUR winning prom outfit.
The contest started on March 5th, 2007
Duct Tape Dispenser ala Rick Here's Jim's cousin Rick's Duct Tape Dispenser. Rick and his wife and their duct tape dispenser (and other misc. critters who have yet to be ducttapeized) live in Park City, Utah.
Warts in the News (again)
You can read some of our many "Wart Cure Testimonials" on our HMO on a Roll page. If you have your own wart testimonial that you would like to share, just write up the story and email it with a $20 paypal payment insertion fee* and we'd be glad to post as many as you can send us!
Draw the Duct Tape Guys Our challenge (or contest as the case may be) to Draw the Duct Tape Guys is finally catching on. We have three new entries including the one below drawn by Dave M. of Orchard Supply Hardware - San Jose, California. Dave is one of our California Sushi buddies (hence the sushi reference). Jim isn't much for sushi - it's all bait to him - but Tim is a sushi pig. Put it in front of him and he'll eat it (unless it's Uni - that slimy sea urchin ooze). Nice work, Dave! Can't wait to see us as super heroes!
To see all of the entries so far - and to prime the pump on your own creativity, click here.
This newsletter is sponsored in part by Duck brand Duct Tape - Home of The Original Duck Tape Club.
I heard a commercial on the radio for a smoke detector that, instead of having a beeping thing, had whatever voice you put on the tape recorder inside it. On the
When I come home with food and want to eat something, I can get something that I just bought at the store, open it and eat it. When my wife comes home with food and I want to eat something, I have to open it, wash it, peel it, cut it up, soak it overnite, boil it for three hours, combine it with other ingredients, bake it for two hours then let it cool before I can eat it.
A trash can in Ohio had this rather thought provoking sign attached:
Dale's Website Discovery of the Month:
I keep a copy of William Least Heat Moon's "Blue Highways" in our camper.
Five Things you Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do - thanks to Tim's neighbor, Amy.
[While not as useful as duct tape...] Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
SECOND: Have you locked your keys in the car?
THIRD: Hidden Battery Power
FOURTH: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
FIFTH: Free Directory Service for Cells
This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on
Cookin' with Duct Tape:
No new recipe this month - but check our archives for some ideas!
Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:
Amaryllis Plant Repair
"Dup Take" Many young children go through a phase where they can (and will) unnecessarily remove their own diapers. But when you have triplets, this can be an especially "messy" problem. Meet Kathryn, the "oldest" of our triplets. As the "ringleader," she led the way in untimely diaper removal. Solution: Turn the diaper around backwards so that the tabs are on the back (small children may freak at the sight of an unfamiliar gray streak on the front of their diapers) and apply a six inch strip to bind the diaper tabs together. Kathryn, William, and Laura Grace are now well adjusted 3-1/2 years olds. All thanks to "dup take," as my little ones call it. - Jim A., Huntsville, Alabama Check out our Diaper Gallery page!
Birks on a Roll
Helps the Mail Get Through Last summer the mail boxes for my neighbor and I fell over; the post had rotted through at the bottom, and when the boxes hit the ground, they came off of their platform. I couldn't get to them to fix them for several days, so I used my old standby, duct tape, to ensure that we continued to get our mail delivered! - Dee, Dallas, TX
Duct Tape Dolphin Fountain We did this as prop for a new show we're performing and it took a whole day... What do you have say about our royal fountain plus duct tape dolphin? - the Adam family Well, since you asked, we think it's pretty danged awesome! Nice work! Proof once again, the family that duct tapes together, sticks together.
New Airlines servicing the Midwest!!
WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience.
Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da saf ety system aboard dis Lutran Air.
Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cab in pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us o u r sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against u s," which isn't right, but what can you do ? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!
Right now I'll say Grace: " Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close." Amen
World's Shortest Fairy Tale (guys' version)
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO".
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting, played golf a lot, drank beer, scratched himself, and farted whenever he wanted.
World's Shortest Fairy Tale (gals' version)
|Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.
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May the Tape be with you!
Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06, 6/06, 7/06, 8/06, 9/06,10/06,11/06, 12/06, 1/07, 2/07, 3/07.
Tim (left), Jim (other left).