The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!

Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we will always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:

Quotes of the Month:
"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else." - Emily Dickinson
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."
- Henry Van Dyke

Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about issues that he feels are of importance.
It has challenging stuff to think about during your duct taping projects. If you want a dose of stuff to think about click here. If you don't want to, that's okay. Tape on! Here is a brief intro to what's in this month's SOAPBOX:

Putting it all in perspective
If the world's population was reduced to 100 people, what would it look like? click here

Music to Duct Tape by...
Steely Dan has been a long-time favorite of Jim and Tim. It's still hip today after all these many years. For all things Steely Dan including their 2007 tour schedule, audio and video clips, click to the official Steely Dan web site.

Are you on our e-mail list?
Click here - to subscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim

The erroneous phone bill
After listening to this recorded phone conversation - refer to the check image below to see how the guy finally paid for the erroneous bill.

How's Your Prom Dress Coming?

The Duck® brand duct tape Stuck at Prom® Scholarship Contest is on now - challenging high school students to create and accessorize their prom formalwear with America's favorite fix-all - duct tape. And, for the first time, this year it's the public's choice as to who's got the hottest fashions. Online public voting will decide the winning couple from the top 10 finalists. The couple winning the first place title will recieve a $6000 cash scholarship for college!

So, get your plans drawn up, go out and stock up on any or all of Duck® brand's 20 colors and patterns of duct tape and get busy creating YOUR winning prom outfit.

The contest started on March 5th, 2007
Complete information is online at and we will have more information in the March newsletter as well. For inspiration, visit our duct tape prom fashion gallery.

Duct Tape Dispenser ala Rick Here's Jim's cousin Rick's Duct Tape Dispenser. Rick and his wife and their duct tape dispenser (and other misc. critters who have yet to be ducttapeized) live in Park City, Utah.

April 2007

Warts in the News (again)
We often hear of people using duct tape to get rid of warts. Good! This means the information is still getting around. Our goal is to put Compound W out of business. With the assistance of a duct tape loving dermatologist nearly ten years ago, our web site posted this information before the medical white papers were written - and well before the media picked up on it. And now, there is another study from the Netherlands proving the same information.

You can read some of our many "Wart Cure Testimonials" on our HMO on a Roll page. If you have your own wart testimonial that you would like to share, just write up the story and email it with a $20 paypal payment insertion fee* and we'd be glad to post as many as you can send us!
*(just kidding about insertion fee)

Draw the Duct Tape Guys Our challenge (or contest as the case may be) to Draw the Duct Tape Guys is finally catching on. We have three new entries including the one below drawn by Dave M. of Orchard Supply Hardware - San Jose, California. Dave is one of our California Sushi buddies (hence the sushi reference). Jim isn't much for sushi - it's all bait to him - but Tim is a sushi pig. Put it in front of him and he'll eat it (unless it's Uni - that slimy sea urchin ooze). Nice work, Dave! Can't wait to see us as super heroes!

To see all of the entries so far - and to prime the pump on your own creativity, click here.

This newsletter is sponsored in part by Duck brand Duct Tape - Home of The Original Duck Tape Club.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

I heard a commercial on the radio for a smoke detector that, instead of having a beeping thing, had whatever voice you put on the tape recorder inside it. On the
commercial they had the mother saying, "Honey, this is Mommy. Wake up and get out! The house is on fire!". I thought that would be a good thing to get if you had kids, but what if a wife really hated her husband? She could have it say, "George, go back to sleep. It's nothing. Just take deep breaths and lie quietly!".

When I come home with food and want to eat something, I can get something that I just bought at the store, open it and eat it. When my wife comes home with food and I want to eat something, I have to open it, wash it, peel it, cut it up, soak it overnite, boil it for three hours, combine it with other ingredients, bake it for two hours then let it cool before I can eat it.

A trash can in Ohio had this rather thought provoking sign attached:
Source: Jean Shepherd 1961

Dale's Website Discovery of the Month:

I keep a copy of William Least Heat Moon's "Blue Highways" in our camper.
As you may know, that is the story of a man who traveled the back roads of America in a camper van. We have yet to actually do that, but it does provide interesting reading while we are stopped at the rest areas on the interstate. This month's discovery just may be a way for us to actually travel some of those "Blue Highways" and see some of the America that was bypassed when the interstate system took off. Maybe we will even run into Lightning McQueen out there.

Five Things you Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do - thanks to Tim's neighbor, Amy.

[While not as useful as duct tape...] Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST: Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked.

SECOND: Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock & saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

THIRD: Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

FOURTH: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on
your phone: # 0 6 #.
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

FIFTH: Free Directory Service for Cells
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411
information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:
(800) FREE 411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all.
Program this into your cell phone now.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on
to your family and friends.

Cookin' with Duct Tape:
No new recipe this month - but check our archives for some ideas!

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

Amaryllis Plant Repair
My beloved amaryllis plant was knocked over (by me) and the stem broke in half. I duct taped the stem and it has survived beautifully. GOD BLESS DUCT TAPE! Once again, it saved the day! - Margaret, another duct tape loyal fan.

"Dup Take" Many young children go through a phase where they can (and will) unnecessarily remove their own diapers. But when you have triplets, this can be an especially "messy" problem. Meet Kathryn, the "oldest" of our triplets. As the "ringleader," she led the way in untimely diaper removal. Solution: Turn the diaper around backwards so that the tabs are on the back (small children may freak at the sight of an unfamiliar gray streak on the front of their diapers) and apply a six inch strip to bind the diaper tabs together. Kathryn, William, and Laura Grace are now well adjusted 3-1/2 years olds. All thanks to "dup take," as my little ones call it. - Jim A., Huntsville, Alabama Check out our Diaper Gallery page!

Birks on a Roll
Birkenstocks are a fad at my school, so I decided that I would try to outdo everybody else. I took a roll of duck tape, a couple layers of cardboard, and some Kleenexes for foot support, and made the weirdest pair of birks ever devised by human kind. And the most bizarre thing is that everybody loved them! And I have no idea why. For Pete's sake, just check out the picture. They may not be pretty, but I'm one of the only people in the world who at any time can go out with duck tape on his feet and be comfortable. - Drew M., Polk County, NC

Helps the Mail Get Through Last summer the mail boxes for my neighbor and I fell over; the post had rotted through at the bottom, and when the boxes hit the ground, they came off of their platform. I couldn't get to them to fix them for several days, so I used my old standby, duct tape, to ensure that we continued to get our mail delivered! - Dee, Dallas, TX

Duct Tape Dolphin Fountain We did this as prop for a new show we're performing and it took a whole day... What do you have say about our royal fountain plus duct tape dolphin? - the Adam family Well, since you asked, we think it's pretty danged awesome! Nice work! Proof once again, the family that duct tapes together, sticks together.

Send your famiy's duct tape creations to the Duct Tape Diner and you may get into our calendars and books!

New Airlines servicing the Midwest!!


If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience.

Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.   Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.

Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da saf ety system aboard dis Lutran Air.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce.   In da event of a sudden loss of cab in pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.

In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us o u r sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against u s," which isn't right, but what can you do ?  Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.

We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you.  Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!

Right now I'll say Grace: " Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close." Amen

World's Shortest Fairy Tale (guys' version)
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO".
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting, played golf a lot, drank beer, scratched himself, and farted whenever he wanted.

World's Shortest Fairy Tale (gals' version)
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?"
The guy said "No".
And the girl lived happily ever after, spending her time shopping, eating meals out, drinking good wine, completing all her Book Club readings, ignoring the housework, watching the soaps, scratching herself and farting whenever she wanted to.

Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06, 6/06, 7/06, 8/06, 9/06,10/06,11/06, 12/06, 1/07, 2/07, 3/07.

Tim (left), Jim (other left).