The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we will always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:
Quote of the Month:
Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about issues that he feels are of importance.
Gore gets stripped of Oscar...
Music to Duct Tape by...
We have a collection of Duct Tape Music of our own... collected from talented musicians around the world. This month, for your music to duct tape by, we invite you to click here and turn up your speakers. We included a duct tape song by The Bobcats - given to us by David Christopher Patmore at a recent show in Kansas City, MO. Thanks, Dave!
Click here - to subscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim
Frankly, we think he's great!
Frank Caliendo - We think Frank is the best impressionist/comedian to come along in a long time. Perhaps you've seen his work on MadTV. Now you can watch a sampling of some of Frank'swork on YouTube.
Reminder to start working on your Stuck at Prom entry!
The Duck® brand duct tape Stuck at Prom® Scholarship Contest once again challenges high school students to create and accessorize their prom formalwear with America's favorite fix-all - duct tape. And, for the first time, this year it's the public's choice as to who's got the hottest fashions. Online public voting will decide the winning couple from the top 10 finalists. The couple winning the first place title will recieve a $6000 cash scholarship for college!
So, get your plans drawn up, go out and stock up on any or all of Duck® brand's 20 colors and patterns of duct tape and get busy creating YOUR winning prom outfit.
The contest will start on March 5th, 2007
|March 2007 - comes in like a lion...|
Duct Tape Guys burried in snow!
NASA duct tape use in the news (again) NASA has a detailed set of written procedures for dealing with a suicidal or psychotic astronaut in space. The documents say the astronaut's crewmates should bind his wrists and ankles with duct tape, tie him down with a bungee cord and inject him with tranquilizers if necessary. - based on an Associated Press report - 2/23/07 (see our NASA page for this and other NASA uses of Duct Tape)
This newsletter is sponsored in part by Duck brand Duct Tape - Home of The Original Duck Tape Club.
I heard an ad for a certain mattress that said it was the only mattress recognized by NASA. So what does this mean? If I were to go to NASA and show them another type of mattress, would they not know what it was? I don't know about you, but that doesn't really instill a lot of confidence in me. These people are putting people into space, you would think they know what a mattress is!
There is something unusual about these words.. See if you can figure it
out. The answer is below...but don't peek until you have given it a good
Assess, Banana, Dresser, Grammar, Potato, Revive, Uneven, Voodoo
OK, see if you can figure out what these words have in common........
Are you peeking or have you already given up?
In all of the listed words, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
Did you figure it out?
Cookin' with Duct Tape:
Back in the kitchen after a little mid-winter break. This time we are offering another eat-until-you're-sick-good recipe from Tim's mom. Thanks to growing up with Dot's incredible cusine, Tim now has a propensity towards swelling to massive proportions. click here for the recipe for Pollo Versatile (a fancy name for versatile chicken.)
You asked for it...
You asked for it, you got it (or perhaps you didn't ask for it, and/or by the time you finish watching this collection of videos, you'd wish you hadn't)...
"Redneck Amusement Park" click here for admission
This is a work in progress presented by Parodyville.com - collector of all things humorous on the web. Warning - there is some blood and rampant stupidity in this selection of videos.
Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:
|Leeza does duct tape
A visit to Northwest Airline's World Club gave us a great duct tape sighting. Tim spotted a wad of duct taped phone books behind the rather tall reception desk. When he asked what that was, the hostess on duty said, "Oh, that's Leeza's. She's short and needs it to see the customers when she's standing behind the desk." Our next visit to the club gave us a personal introduction to the World Club Duct Tape Queen herself, Leeza. Here's Leeza with her phonebook stepstool and her locker key box - adorned and strengthened with crome Duck® brand duct tape. We think the World Clubs should enllist Leeza as their interior decorator! Heck, she'd save them big bucks over those trendy decorators that they've been using, and since Northwest is the preferred airlines of The Duct Tape Guys, we'd feel more at home in their clubs with duct tape decor!
(left) Leeza's locker key holder.
Dog toy surgery
Plastic chair protector We have these old white chairs. They have the little plastic protectors on the bottom, and one day I noticed that one of the plastic protectors were gone! I quickly ran to the duct tape, and then to the recycling to get a plastic water bottle cap and then duct taped the cap onto the end of the chair! Duct tape saved the day (and our floors)! - Brian R.
Strap Stay I have come up with a solution that everywoman has encountered in her life one time or other. The problem: The Bra strap slipping down over the shoulder. The solution: Put the strap back in place where it should be. Then put a small strip of duct tape over the strap and attach to your shoulder. It will stay in place all day. P.S. It doesn't hurt your skin when you remove the duct tape. - Rosalee in Ohio
Hypnotist at the Senior Center
There was some recent news about a puppy mill that was making a fortune on designer dogs. I've been giving it some thought, and I think I've got some potential money making ideas...
Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Bull..... Oh, never mind
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn come to church every Sunday I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you would rather do without your hat than Burn in Hell, right ?"
Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
Click here to listen to the Duct Tape Guys early radio bits, "Duct Tape Talk".
|Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.
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May the Tape be with you!
Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06, 6/06, 7/06, 8/06, 9/06,10/06,11/06, 12/06, 1/07, 2/07,
Tim (left), Jim (other left).