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February 2010 issue


THIS IS VALENTINE'S MONTH! It's on Sunday the 14th. So, right now, before you read another word, go, pick up your phone and make reservations at your honey's favorite restaurant. Then, pick up your roll of RED DUCT TAPE and fashion a really nice Duct Tape Rose (see below), wallet or Purse, or something personal and charming for the gal.

Okay, good. If you don't want to make her something (other than dinner reservations, go to our Store and order a personalized Duct Tape Book (or some of our apparel) for her.

When you craft your roses, you may want to use different colors. Duck brand has provided a chart of their colors and what they represent:

Duck Tape® brand duct tape Rose Color Chart of Love:
Red – True Love
Blue – Mystery
Green – Jealousy
Yellow – Friendship or apology
White – Eternal love, innocence, reverence
Beige – Unity
Brown – Sweet (like chocolate)
Black – Farewell
Gray – Strength
Clear – Honesty
Camouflage – Tough love
Funky Flamingo® – Grace
Island Lime® – Escape
Atomic Yellow® – Cheerful, pure joy
Blaze Orange – Desire, passion
Maroon – Beauty
Electric Blue – Peace
Aqua – Trust
Purple – Love at first sight
Totally Tie-Dye™ – Groovy love
Chrome – Love from the future

Yes, we've seen it!

To date we've had at least 4,325 people email us the Alaska Plane Repair. Well, thanks for thinking of us when you see anything duct tape, but you probably could find it on our web site long before it makes the viral email rounds...

This set of airplane repair photos has been on our site for at least 8 months now - it even got our 2009 REPAIR OF THE YEAR AWARD (you can see our post and documentation of the process here). When you want to submit something duct tape-related that you've gotten via email (that you didn't originate), check on our site first. I will probably already be there. And then when you do forward it, include in the email to help us spread the word about our site. (We usually try to clean up any submissions making them quicker to email.)

We're on Facebook

We're just as much into the "social networking" thing as the next guy - and would rather you get on our email list where you get notices of special sales, duct tape product news, our newsletter, etc. But, if you are totally into facebook, we'll meet you there, too. Just click on the link on the left and we'll "friend" the heck outta ya!

Thanks! - Jim and Tim

Duck brand has a new web site!

If you haven't been to our favorite duct tape company's web site lately, take a look. It's new and improved! Just click to - there's info about all of their cool products including Duck Tape, all of their innovative home and office products, a link to the Duck Tape Club, craft ideas and instructions... AND - information about the 10th year anniversary of the STUCK at PROM Scholarship contest:

The perfect prom night requires a few essentials: the venue, the music, the friends and the hair. While these may change, there is one key item to bring to prom that has remained the same from year to year: style. Students seek the outfit that will “stick” out and leave a memorable impression on their peers – and, for the past decade, one familiar fix-all has helped many do just that: duct tape.

Ten years ago, Duck Tape® brand duct tape launched the Stuck at Prom® Scholarship Contest, which challenges high school students from the United States and Canada to create and accessorize prom outfits that are unique, beautiful and made out of duct tape. It is a prime opportunity for high school students to make a lasting impression at their proms and possibly earn some much-needed scholarship money for college. Since its inception in 2001, more than 5,500 students have participated in the contest and more than $80,000 has been awarded in scholarship money.

In commemoration of the 10th anniversary of the Stuck at Prom Contest, the top 10 couples chosen will each receive scholarship money: first place will receive $3,000 each and $3,000 for the school that hosted their prom, second place will receive $2,000 each and $2,000 for their school, third place will receive $1,000 each and $1,000 for their school, and the remaining seven finalist couples will receive $500 each and $500 for their school.

The 10 finalist couples will be chosen from all contest entries by a panel of judges based on workmanship, originality, use of color, accessories and quantity of duct tape used to create their prom attire.  These couples will then compete during a period of online public voting to earn the top scholarship prize.  However, staying in the race could prove a bit tricky…In a new voting format, the top 10 couples will be “voted off” based on lowest number of overall online votes.Students interested in participating can go to for official contest rules, important contest dates and a registration form. The contest, sponsored by ShurTech Brands, LLC, marketers of Duck Tape brand duct tape, starts on March 1, 2010.

The Duct Tape Store has moved...
We moved our Duct Tape Pro Shop to Octane Street. In an effort to update our stores and get them to a place where more people can find them, we moved them to Octane Street. Here you can still purchase our books (in the bookstore) and Duct Tape apparel (in the Humor Apparel Store). There's also a storefront for the Duct Tape Guys. Check it out and click around Octane Street - you just might discover some other humorous creations from Tim and company while you are there.

See Tim's new paintings: I'm always posting new paintings on my gallery web site (some actually include duct tape - see if you can spot it). You can see the most recent stuff by clicking here. If you click to the store at that site, you can purchase prints of my art right now at 20% off! Thanks for visiting! - Tim

Calendar idea: We know, by calendar sales, that there are over 100,000 of you out there with a new Duct Tape Page-A-Day Calendar. Here's a nifty idea that was sent to us by various people. We like it! Store the torn-off pages for future reference in the box that the calendar came in. Just duct tape the box to the back of the blue calendar stand. And remember to register your calendar online for your daily email delivery of the calendar hint to your email address (see the calendar for details and entry code). If you didn't get the calendar over the holidays, you can pick them up at a discount now at book and calendar stores.

Having trouble with your 2010 Duct Tape Page-A-Day Calendar falling apart? See our FIX here.

Dale's Discoveries
(A feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

My son, Curtis, got his 4th grade Social Studies diorama project back today. I got an A minus. The teacher said that it needed more animals. Now that I know that, I hope to get an A plus when my youngest son gets to 4th grade.

I was disappointed that there were no grapes or dishes of tartar sauce in the package of frozen fish sticks that I bought. Then I saw the fine print that said, "Serving Suggestion". That probably explains why there was no plate in the bag either.

I got a fund raising letter from our local zoo the other day. I didn't realize how badly they needed money though until I went there and saw that they had rented out part of their indoor rainforest habitat for use as a cigar humidor.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator.

I wanted to buy my wife a skirt in the mall the other day. I couldn't remember her size though. Fortunately I saw a store where I thought they could help me but they didn't know her size either. They have a lot of nerve calling their store "Things Remembered".

The day after Christmas I saw a place that was selling live Christmas trees having a clearance sale. True story.

If you go to a restaurant in hell, do the waitresses warn you that the plates are hot?

I was reading a disaster preparedness guide the other day and it suggested always having food in your car in case you are trapped. This was obviously written for people who have no small children since we could probably all live for weeks just on the food on the floorboards.

I had to go to a laundromat the other day. They advertised that they had satellite tv but all the channels looked to me like clothes spinning around.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can get your kids to do.

Dale's Website Discoveries

The internet to me is somewhat like an electronic, interactive version of the Whole Earth Catalog, which I used to love paging thru in my youth [ed note: that was back in the 60s and 70s]. Imagine my delight when I could combine both of those experiences at this site, which contains all those publications in their entireties for virtual perusal.

Jim and Tim's Cool Website Finds
You can still get a good laugh off of George W. - check out this video from Holland on YouTube.

Paint online at

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

Yeah, we planned that... While enjoying the "The Jumbo Duct Tape Book" my brother-in-law got me for christmas, a few of the center pages fell out. Acting on the clever duct tape drawn into the bindings, I creased some short sections lenghtwise to stick the pages back in. Thanks for all the great tips and humor-- keep it coming! --- Fred K., Dearborn Heights MI..
Fred, we'd like to say that we planned that as an exercise to improve your taping skills, but, it's probably just an over use-weakened binding.

No Drip Pant Can Lee N. of Eastside Heating in Bellevue, WA came up with the idea of creating a no drip paint spout using duct tape on the inside rim of a freshly opened can of paint. When you get done pouring, just rip off the tape to reveal a clean can rim edge. Good thinkin' Lee!

Pray for no Groin Pulls! Tired of the heating pad slipping off your shoulder -- get your wife to duct tape it into position. --- Jon H.

Blister Preventer My friends and I like mountain biking and my friends had biking gloves and I didn't. So I whipped out the duct tape and made my own duct tape biking gloves custom fit to my hands. I use them when I go biking now and they really work! --- Michael S.

Like Father, Like Son TThe other day i was working in my shop and my five year old son came in climbed on to my bench grabed the duct tape wile running off said, "I need some tape." About 30 minutes later I went to check on him he had all his broken candy canes duct taped back together and hanging back on the tree sure did make this dad proud --- Mike T.

These boots were made from Duct Tape... For a final exam I made this pair of duct tape boots. I attached a pair of long underwear to socks to create the base, and used the sole from an old pair of sandals to create a rather comfortable pair of boots! Regular string laced them up. I wore them around campus and they kept me warm enough for winter time, and I didn't feel sweaty because the sides acted as ventilation and the knit "lining" wicked away moisture. I got an A! --- Andrea S. Wheaton, IL

DUCT successfully replaces PCV My first car was an old run-down 84 mercury cougar. There was some sort of malfunction in the vacuum lines that would cause it to constantly stall out and die at red lights and even in motion. After consulting many mechanic friends, all who were clueless, I finally caved in, popped the hood and repaired every broken vacuum line and sealed off the PCV valve with duct tape. The car never ran better. --- Gary S.

Read this - it may make you feel smarter.

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

And now for something completely different:

New Supreme Court Robes
If you get this one, you get it and you'll think, "That's so true, and funny... but so sad for us all."

If you don't get it - you will, soon.

Nab all the cool, original Duct Tape Pro™ Duct Tape Apparel you want at the Pro Shop
The Duct Tape Pro Shop is the only place in the universe to get Genuine Duct Tape Guys Originals. There are many rip-offs available - some at major department stores, but they're illegal copyright infringements. Please don't buy them. Anything that you see on our site are our original designs and slogans.

And remember, when it comes time to buy our BOOKS - including the WD-40 Book and the entire Duct Tape genre for your dad, grandpa... friends and relatives (or yourself) there's no better place than the Pro Shop - that's because we autograph everything that we ship. And, we've got GREAT deals that you won't find anywhere else - in the world! So stop by the Duct Tape Pro Shop and see what's in store for you! Thanks for your patronage! - The Duct Tape Guys

Well, that’s it for now. Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06, 5/06, 6/06, 7/06, 8/06, 9/06,10/06,11/06, 12/06, 1/07, 2/07, 3/07. 4/07, 5/07, 6/07. 7/07, 8-9/07, 10-11/07, 12/07, 01/08, 02-03/08,4-5/08, 6-7/08, 8-9/08, 10-11/08, 12/08 and 1/09, 2-3/09, 4-5/09, 6-7/09, 8/09, 10-11/09, 12/09, 2/10, 3/10,