June / July 2008

Duck Tape Stuck at Prom contest ends June 11th
New entries are pouring in for the annual Duck® brand Duct Tape's Stuck at Prom Contest. This annual event has prom attendees competing for college scholarship money by making their prom gowns and tuxes using Duck brand's colorful array of duct tape. The entries have been phenominal over the years (as you can see on our Duct Tape Prom viewer). Click to DuckTapeClub.com to view and vote on this year's entries. You can also watch a video interviewing last year's winners here.

Duct Tape Saves the Day!
A wise man once said, "The one thing people love more than duct tape, is telling their duct tape story," and we agree. That's why the Duck Tape Club® announced the Duck® Brand Duct Tape "SAVES THE DAY" Promotion. They invited all those people with original and ingenius duct tape "SAVES THE DAY" stories competing for a grand prize of $5,000! Check out the winners at DuckTapeClub.com.

Duct Tape Festival - year five!

Hoist the colors and bring your best pirate impression to the fifth annual Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival to honor the beloved roll known for its million and one uses.

The three-day celebration over Father’s Day Weekend will feature a pirate theme and encourages duct tape fanatics, artists, kids and adults to salute America’s favorite fix-all. The festivities kick-off Friday, June 13 at 4:00 p.m. at Veteran’s Memorial Park in Avon, Ohio, and feature everything duct tape – from sculptures and crafts to fashions and games. There is even a parade featuring duct tape floats.

Hosted in the “Duct Tape Capital” of the world and home of Duck® brand duct tape – Avon, Ohio – the celebration will boast traditional festival favorites, including rides, food, games, live entertainment and booths from local vendors and organizations. Sticking to the pirate theme, festivalgoers can also take part in a treasure hunt, pose with their favorite pirate for a picture and much more!

Duck® brand duct tape, title sponsor of the event, will celebrate the sticky stuff with a unique display of duct tape sculptures and fashions created by local artists and students.

The Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival begins on Friday, June 13, from 4 p.m. –  11 p.m., and continues on Saturday, June 14, from 11 a.m. – 11 p.m.  Festivalgoers will have one last chance to enjoy the celebration on Sunday, June 15, from 11 a.m. – 5 p.m.

For additional event information, directions and local accommodations, call toll-free, 1-866-818-1116 or visit www.AvonDuctTapeFestival.com.

Make sure you're on our email list! Click here - to subscribe.

Remember, to go exploring!
We always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. This is an easy way for you to explore the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:


The Adventures of Rock Tapewright is a popular interactive cartoon strip at DuckTapeclub.com. In episode #48, Jim and Tim, the Duct Tape Guys appeared with Rock in "The Case of the Missing Cases." Click here to view the episode, then try your skill as a storyline developer for the new episodes. click here

Watch the Duct Tape Guys on YouTube
In case you didn't visit our YouTube site, you're missing a lot of great Duct Tape Guy videos from our past television appearances, out-takes, goofball antics, etc.. We're working on getting a video of our entire half-hour stand-up show (Which should be posted in June by Father's Day.) And, if you have any video of the duct tape guys in action, please pass it by us first before you post it on YouTube - we want to keep the Duct Tape Guy (crud) quality to everything out there that represents us. Okay? Thanks.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

I convinced my mother to file her income taxes in order to get
her economic stimulus check. She went to my sister's house to do it on her computer with Turbo Tax. The filing part was no trouble at all but you had to come up with a user name and password to sign in. They also asked you for a security question in case you forgot your password. My sister picked "What is the name of your first pet?" and put in "Spunky". My mother, who was not familiar with computers, then said that her first pet was "Mother Cat" and she should really put that. She said, "What if they check? We better not mess around!".

Later I called my mother and asked her if it was worth the ten minutes it took to get the $300. She said, "Yeah, I guess so but I still don't know why the heck they need to know my cat's name!".

If you went by the kinds of things sold in stores in tourist towns you would think that people were sitting at home looking in their drawers saying, "You know, I think I need to go on vacation. I don't have enough T shirts with pictures of cartoon moose on them."

I have a friend who was 37 years old and living in his parent's basement. He decided he had had enough and so he got married, bought a house and had kids. Now he is living in his wife's basement.

Finally, here is another helpful hint for living and this one could literally save your life. When your wife gets a new outfit and asks what you think of it, Never, no matter how much of a compliment you think it may be, tell her it looks slimming. Never!

Dale's Website Discovery of the Month

Looking for a cool vacation spot this year? How about at some point in your lifetime? Well, here are 25 spots that someone thinks you should see before you die. thetravelerszone.com

Or, if you really want to get away, you can visit Mars right from the comfort of your office or from your wife's basement (my preference). exploremarsnow.org

Jim and Tim's Cool Website Finds
Not to be outdone by Dale, we're gonna post our own web finds. Designate a mood, and a genre of music and sit back and enjoy some free music at http://musicovery.com

Express yourself with artpad - an interactive online artpad where you can create, frame and display art. http://artpad.art.com

< The sign on the left and other remarkably stupid road-side sites can be found at Tim's Parodyville Drive-By Shootings pages.

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away? A musical tribute to Hillary Clinton featuring the swingin' music of Dan Hicks.

Trivial information that you can use to have the appearance of being smart.
Fun facts about the human mind and body.

Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.  
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man.
Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell. 
There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate.
When you are looking at someone you hate, your pupils also dilate.
Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

Swimming Pool Reinforcement How do you keep a sagging pool upright? A ring of those foam pipe insulation tubes wrapped in duct tape and taped to the top right of the pool. Sorry that we lost the submitter's name - but this is a great idea never the less. Remember if you send us photos, put your name on the back of them so we can credit them properly!

Alabama Silver Service? What do you give as a wedding shower gift if you REALLY care enough to give the very best? Just ask Rick and Kelly who concocted this gem. (With our apologies to folks from Alabama - could have just as well been Eau Claire, Wisconsin Silver Service, right Rick and Kelly?)

A wee bit o' Irish Humor

We love Ireland and the Irish. This collection of Irish jokes was sent to us by an Irish friend. enjoy!

Lost Luggage
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K.  Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.  An airline employee
 asked him if he was already homesick.
 "No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

Image below - "Irish Man with Fancy Hat and Suspenders" by Tim (the Duct Tape Guy) - more of Tim's art at GalleryFortyTwo.com

The Miracle
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .
 The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then notices an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.  He says,
"Father, have you been drinking?"
 "Just water," says the priest.
 The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord!  He's done it again!"

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard..
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul.  He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
 "That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."!
 Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
 "What was his name?" asks Paddy. 
Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims,
"Miles, from Dublin."

Final Request
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.  Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he want, Mary?"
 "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun.""

The pet rock of humor books?
Here's a humor book that gulp down:

Click here to get a $2 off retail price of $4.9-5 each (autographed of course). Or, get the FRAT PACK - a ten pack for $35 (instead of the $69.50 retail - heck, that's wholesale!). Great gift for the BEER LOVER in your life. Cheers!

Nab the Duct Tape Apparel DAD WANTS at the Pro Shop
The Duct Tape Pro Shop is the only place in the universe to get Genuine Duct Tape Guys Originals. There are many rip-offs available - some at major department stores, but they're illegal copyright infringements. Please don't buy them. Anything that you see on our site are our original designs and slogans.

And remember, when it comes time to buy our BOOKS - including the WD-40 Book and the entire Duct Tape genre for your dad, grandpa... friends and relatives (or yourself) there's no better place than the Pro Shop - that's because we autograph everything that we ship. And, we've got GREAT deals that you won't find anywhere else - in the world! So stop by the Duct Tape Pro Shop and see what's in store for you! Thanks for your patronage! - The Duct Tape Guys

Well, that’s it for now. Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

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