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August / September 2008

Fall's almost here. Crap!
Man, the summer's been blazing by - now we're in the dog days. Which is good for duct tape lovers - not too many more days when you'll have to keep your duct tape rolls on ice to avoid the melting ooze from the sides of the roll. By the way, Jim reminds you, never repair your bicycle seat with duct tape unless you cover the repair with plastic. Live and learn. We've had a busy summer. Jim's been golfing (although he's learned to cover his exposed skin with duct tape for 100% UV protection. Tim's been painting up a storm. You can see some of his art at

You may have heard about our duct tape clad mannequin that made an appearance on Michael Feldman's Wha'dya Know? show that was broadcast from the Door Community Auditorium (our home base). Our books have been popular prizes on that show for years. Maybe someday (if they get enough requests from fans), the Duct Tape Guys will appear on the show. But, for now, we're happy with a dummy stand-in until they invite the REAL dummies.

Duck Tape Server
Check out the lastest from our friends in Loveland, Ohio. They've built a duct tape server. They've documented the whole process on their website Who knows, their massive use of duct tape might just get the Duct Tape Guys away from their Mac® habit... NAH!

Second reminder: Duct Tape Saves the Day!
A wise man once said, "The one thing people love more than duct tape, is telling their duct tape story," and we agree. That's why the Duck Tape Club® announced the Duck® Brand Duct Tape "SAVES THE DAY" Promotion. They invited all those people with original and ingenius duct tape "SAVES THE DAY" stories competing for a grand prize of $5,000! Check out the winners at

Speaking of Saving the Day...
Jim got locked out of his car once. Locked the keys right in the ignitio nn. Was he out of luck? Heck no! He just reached under the left front fender and grabbed the hammer (that he had duct taped in the wheel well just for emergencies like this), smashed the driver's side window and unlocked the door.

If you don't want to smash your window, check out this handy hint:
If you've locked your keys in the car, call someone has access to your duplicate set of keys (with a remote opener). Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person with the other remote press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock! Distance is no object. You could be thousands of miles away.

I like my hammer idea better. - Jim

Remember, to go exploring!
We always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. This is an easy way for you to explore the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:

Break a leg!
Tony in Door County, WI, was sporting duct tape on his prosthetic leg. Fashion statement? No, purely functional. The leg fractured and it was duct tape to the rescue. Talk about having a "leg up" on the competition. Good thinkin' Tony. Hope you enjoy the green duct tape that we gave you - as a city adminstrator, it's very important now-a-days to "go green."

Speaking of legs, here's another guy whose mobility relies on Duct Tape - click here to see a movie of LIttle John of Butte, Alaska.

Did you catch the Duct Tape Guys on YouTube yet?
In case you didn't visit our YouTube site, you're missing a lot of great Duct Tape Guy videos from our past television appearances, out-takes, goofball antics, etc.. We're working on getting a video of our entire half-hour stand-up show (Which should be posted in June by Father's Day.) And, if you have any video of the duct tape guys in action, please pass it by us first before you post it on YouTube - we want to keep the Duct Tape Guy (crud) quality to everything out there that represents us. Okay? Thanks.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

My father traveled so much that he had a king sized quilt on his bed made entirely of Marriott shoe polishing cloths.

In fact we had all of our towels alphabetized - Hilton, Holiday Inn, Marriott, Sheraton...

For some reason he used to collect air sickness bags too. One of them said, "Seat Occupied". That was odd to me. I figure that, if you just threw up on the seat, no one would sit there anyway.

I went into a store the other day that was advertising "Free China". When I got in there they wouldn't give me any! In fact, they wouldn't give me any "Free Tibet" either.

Finally, here is another helpful hint for living - Before you use the window washer thing on your car, be sure that the sunroof is closed. True story.

Dale's Website Discovery of the Month

Regular readers of this column may remember the comments I made about trash cans. Well here is one that I missed.

Here is a site that I find absolutely hilarious. It is the story of the angst of a lonely guy named John Arbuckle. To fully appreciate it, be sure to scroll back thru a few pages. (Thanks very much to Roy G.)

Jim and Tim's Cool Website Finds
Derrick Brown is Tim's kind of poet... listen to the entire intro page - brilliantly tongue-in-cheek funny. He's a serious, respected poet - who doesn't take himself so seriously -

Public Space Animation (if you've ever done animation - or know an animator, you'll appreciate the incredible amount of work that this took)

And last but not least (or, possibly last, as the case may be....) How much caffeine will it take to kill you? - check for your caffeinated favorite vice.

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

How to Fight Off Boredom at Work
Some Co-workers and I got really bored working the night shift one week and we pooled our minds together to create the duct tape gladiator armor. Its complete with helmet, chest piece, skirt, shield, bracers, and shin guards. Total amount of materials used two and one half rolls of duct/duck tape, two boxes of tongue depressors (500 in each), about 4 feet of parachute cord. - Warren, Dover, DE

No More Squeeky Office My story is not one of great success but a small success for me. The office complex I work in has a finish on their floors which causes my most comfortable running shoes to squeak when I walk.  Since I do a lot of walking at my job, the constant squeaking was driving me crazy. yesterday morning when I arrived at work I had a Revelation.  what if, I thought to myself, I was to apply a strip of duct tape to the bottom of my shoes?  Well, let me tell you, it works like a charm.  In fact it works so good that I inadvertently scared a few coworkers, since they didn't hear me coming. I know it may not seem like much, but it's made me very happy. One more use for duct tape to add to the list of thousands.  Hooray for duct tape! - Cris

Paris Bus Repair I didn't do it, but I saw it. My wife and I were in Paris in April '08 waiting to board a tour bus to take us to Notra Dame when I noticed the left rear bumper of the bus. Even in France, Duct Tape has 1001 uses. The moral of this story is if you are going to buy a tour bus, be sure it's gray, so when you back into something and bang-up the bumper it's easily repaired with duct tape. - Del L. Benicia, CA

Hey, Tim - I'll tell ya a secret... Del didn't do it. I did. Don't tell nobody, okay?

Takin' Care of Storm Damaged Garden... We had a bad wind storm a few days ago, and our tomato plants took a beating.The plant where it branched out was torn in half but not completely separated. So I figured I had nothing to lose and I duct taped it together so we wouldn't lose the tomatoes that were started.It has been four days now and the plants look fine. We even had another storm and they are ok!!!!! - Patty G., Stromsburg, NE 

Musical Gum Shoe I play in an old time string band (The Roller Mills String Band). This past summer, we were playing on a stage where someone before us had chewed some gum and it was right in the middle of the stage where the band plays. After I stepped in it, I got it off my shoe, but I could not get it off the stage surface and was concerned that I would continue to step in it. So, I just took out my trusty duct tape and put a strip over the gum. - Dale P., The Roller Mills String Band

'Sconsin humor.

Jim and I are from 'Sconsin. You know, that state north of Chicago... Packerland. Cheese. Brats. Snow. Yeah, that's the one.
Well, someone emailed us this, and at first we were insulted, but then we just looked at each other and said, "Yeah, that's all true." So here, in effort to help you know how to spot a Cheesehead better - a list of 30 ways you can know you're from Wisconsin:

1. Your idea of  a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the  highway.  
2. "Vacation"  means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.
3. You measure  distance in hours.
4. You know  several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often  switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.  
6. Your whole  family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65  mph through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without  flinching.
8. You see  people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals ).
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.  
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
11. You carry  jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any  given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.  
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with  snow.  
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
19. You  consider Minneapolis exotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your  blue  spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Illinois.
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday  
27. Your 4th of  July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
29. You find  minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.

Tim's art on shirts. Check out Tim's goofy paintings on apparel. click here

and while we're talkin' about apparel, you can nab all the cool, original Duct Tape Pro™ Duct Tape Apparel you want at the Pro Shop
The Duct Tape Pro Shop is the only place in the universe to get Genuine Duct Tape Guys Originals. There are many rip-offs available - some at major department stores, but they're illegal copyright infringements. Please don't buy them. Anything that you see on our site are our original designs and slogans.

And remember, when it comes time to buy our BOOKS - including the WD-40 Book and the entire Duct Tape genre for your dad, grandpa... friends and relatives (or yourself) there's no better place than the Pro Shop - that's because we autograph everything that we ship. And, we've got GREAT deals that you won't find anywhere else - in the world! So stop by the Duct Tape Pro Shop and see what's in store for you! Thanks for your patronage! - The Duct Tape Guys

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

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