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Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDERS ME SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South.
If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads "WINDERS ME" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver.

Also note:
- The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
- My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
- Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
- Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
- Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
- Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
- Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and a roll of duct tape" pops up.

- OK: ats aw-right
- Cancel: stopdat
- Reset: try er agin
- Yes: yep
- No: noop
- Find: hunt fer it
- Go to: over yonder
- Back: back yonder
- Help: hep me out here
- Stop: kwitit
- Start: crank er up
- Settings: sittins
- Programs: stuff at duz stuff
- Documents: stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders ME:
- tiperiter: A word processing program
- colerin book: a graphics program
- cyferin mersheen: calculator
- outhouse paper: notepad
- jupe-box: CD Player
- iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 5.5
- pichers: A graphics viewer
- irs: MS accounting software
- irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files
- tax records: usually an empty file
- coon dog: American kennel club records

You'll recognize WINDERS ME SOUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web.

- Fishin': Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
- NRA: National Rifle Association
- Shotgun: Remington Arms home page
- Riffel: Winchester home page
- Pistul: Smith & Wesson home page
- Truck: Ford dealers by zip code
- House: Mobile home repair services & movers by ZIP code
- Cuzzins: Complete database of southern residents (extremely long download time)
- Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by ZIP code
- Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule with TV stations that carry the race
- Car 'n truck parts: Junk yards by ZIP code
- Doc: veterinarians by ZIP code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!

--Billy Bob Gates

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