The ARCHIVES (Page 5)
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My 1976 self-winding watch no longer self-winds. How can duct tape fix my watch so that once again it will tell me the correct time, more than two times a day. --- Peter C.

We're thinking that a good smack to the watch would free the mechanism that makes it self-wind. In order to avoid crystal breakage during the smacking operation, wrap your watch body in four to five layers of duct tape. Hold the watch by the band, and smack the watch on the face of a duct tape roll. If your watch doesn't work after this delicate proceedure, rewrap the watch in duct tape and tape a little triangle on its edge on the top of the watch face. There - now you have a wrist sundial that never needs winding - just a sunny day. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Hi, I have this website of mine but I keep getting this 404 error which means no page but I have
named my main page index.html as it should be but it doesn't find it. Please help me! --- Sebastian C

Duct Tape proper html coding instructions right onto your computer monitor. Follow the instructions step by step. You should do fine. If that fails, do what The Duct Tape Guys do: pick up a copy of Adobe GoLive - it does all of the coding for you. Foolproof (we should know - we easily qualify as "fools" when it comes to computer coding). --- The Duct Tape Guys
I'm a college student overflowing with hormones. The problem is I CANT GET A GIRL! Some of them call me ugly! How can duct tape help me look better and get a girl to go out with me? --- Aroon

Duct tape over your entire face and attend classes as "that duct tape mask guy." Believe us when we tell you that the intrigue will drive all of the girls absolutely nuts. You will be able to get your pick of the pack. Then, keep that mask on through at least your first four or five dates with the same girl. She will come to love you for the person you are inside, and not the way you look. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can we use duct tape to get chewing gum out of my sister's hair without ripping her hair out? --- Kathryn F.

Actually, it is WD-40 that will get the gum out of your sister's hair. (By the way, we wrote The WD-40 Book, too - click here.) To avoid getting the gum into the hair next time, cover your sister's hair with duct tape. When you remove the tape your sister won't have any hair to worry about. (And, your hearing will also be gone - due to the excessive screaming that duct tape stuck in hair creates.) --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can I use duct tape to get me a job? --- Lee K.

1. Become acquainted with the properties of duct tape. 2. Become skilled at fixing things with duct tape. 3. Get your honorary diploma from Duct Tape Tech. Presto! You are a duct tape professional. Now, hire yourself out as the $39.95 handyman. (We would tell you to make a career out of creating books, videos and web sites about duct tape, but we already have that covered.) --- The Duct Tape Guys
I drove my car into a telephone pole, and my license plate became embedded into the pole, how can duct tape get my license plate out of the pole, and keep people from noticing the dent in the pole? --- Question Person

Duct tape the exposed edges of the license plate on to your front bumper and put the car in reverse. The license should pop out of the pole. Now, fill the dent in the pole with duct tape wads and tape around the pole for a total of about two feet up and down around the dent. Use the camouflage Duck® tape for the best results. --- The Duct Tape Guy
My sister recently bestowed upon me a lava lamp which she had been in possession of for a great length of time. I plugged it in, waited the 4 hours it took to warm up, and notice that the lava-liquid had, over the years, become somewhat thin, making many clouds of small bubbles instead of the giant lava globs I had been hoping for. How could duct tape solve my problem? --- Tim

If you let the lamp settle for a while (four hours minimum) and then plug it in, the globs should be melded together. If you replace the light bulb to a new one of recommended wattage, it should heat up quicker. Where does duct tape come into play? Duct tape yourself to a chair in the opposite corner of the room so you aren't tempted to go monkey around with the lamp until it has time to acclimate to its new surroundings. --- The Duct Tape Guy
My daughter who is four years old, will not play the most wonderful man game there is: "PULL MY FINGER" with me anymore. Her mother has warned her not to pull my finger, because of the consequences. How can Duct Tape help me regain that special bond between father and daughter, and get her to pull my finger, at those very frequent times? --- Mark

Put duct tape over her nostrils prior to the command and all should be well. --- The Duct Tape Guys
My 17 month old son is teething. He is cutting his molars. How can duct tape help with the pain, but continue to let the teeth come in? --- Theresa

Make a big wallet-sized wad of duct tape and have the kid bite down on it. The teeth will be cut through in no time. --- The Duct Tape Guys.
Hey there. How can duct tape be used to trick the Breathalyzer when I get pulled over drinking and driving? --- Mike

We enjoy a good beer as much as the next guy... but drinking and driving? Even we aren't that stupid! We suggest that the police that pull you over utilize duct tape to bind and gag you while they're throwing you into detox. Then, when you sober up, they can duct tape you to the grieving parents of a teenager who has been killed by a drunk driver. This might help you think more responsibly. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I'm already using an OC12 at my university but is there any possible way that I can use duct tape to make my connection even faster? --- Mark

We suggest (as we did on page 381 of "The Jumbo Duct Tape Book") that you can increase your band width by duct taping about twenty phone cords together. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I play guitar and when I strum my pick always hit the guitar. Now I have a hole in it how can I get a good sound out of it using duct tape, and just taping over the hole muffles the sound. --- John W.

The sound will not be muffled any more than if there was wood there. Cover the whole thing and your guitar will look like one of those National Steel guitars. Tape on! --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can I travel back in time using duct tape? --- KULER

We fail to see the desire to go back in time much past the 1940s when duct tape was invented. Even if you could time travel with duct tape, the tape would disappear prior to 1942 and there you would be - stuck - without duct tape. Travel back in time by reading history books - and use duct tape as a bookmark when you start getting drowsy. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I'm worried that George W. Bush's proposed missile defense system is not going to be effective enough to protect my family during a nuclear exchange. How can I use duct tape to protect my loved ones and my neighbors from a nuclear assault in case the missile defense system fails? --- Alan H.

Unfortunately, only roaches will survive a nuclear exchange. Therefore, we suggest that you cover your family with duct tape, sticky-side-out, and stick cockroaches all over them. No, they won't be very popular at school. But come nuclear attack... we'll see who laughs last! --- The Duct Tape Guys
How will duct tape keep the coyotes and havalina (pictured on right) out of my yard? --- Ed K.

Duct tape, sticky-side-up around the perimeter of your yard will keep both coyotes and havalina out of your yard. --- The Duct Tape Guys

How can I use Duct Tape to remove ammonia from my pond water? --- Melissa

The ammonia is coming from the fish peeing in the water. Duct tape the fish so they don't leak... the ammonia will disappear. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I'm trying to learn how to stop a Slinky in mid-slink,but it's proving hard to do. How can duct tape fix my problem without mutating the Slinky? --- Cim

Isn't it strange the kind of research our government pays big money for. Here's your answer: Put duct tape, sticky-side-up on two steps. Start the Slinky down the stairs. It will freeze when it's two ends are stuck on the two duct taped steps. --- The Duct Tape Guys

I enjoy listening to my old vinyls from the 60's and 70's. Most of my older ones are scratched up, the grooves are worn down, and don't sound as good as they used to. Using only duct tape, how can I repair those old vinyls, and make them sound good as new? --- Vehemeusira

Stuff duct tape balls in your ear canals and put a strip of duct tape over each outer ear. The muffled sound will hide all of the pops and scratches in your vinyl discs. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can duct tape be used to sharpen an axe? --- Max

Duct tape the ax, at the right angle, to the rear bumper of your car or truck. Drive around the block. When you get back home - Sharp Ax! --- the Duct Tape Guys

My hubby snores so loud I never get any sleep, I would duct tape a ball inside the back of his pajama top IF he would wear one. Is there any other way duct tape can make him stop snoring? I really really really need some sleep. I think you could put two rolls of duct tape in the bags under my eyes. sob sniff sniff. --- Alley Cat

Just duct tape the ball right to his back (it makes a great back hair remover and wake-me-up, too). Or, you could put duct tape balls in and tape over your ears. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can duct tape remove two pieces of other duct tape from each other when they get stuck together? (adhesive sides stuck together) --- vze2pyg5

Wow! Great STUMP! You did it, you us! All we can think of is to relinquish this mess to non-sticky on both sides Duct Tape "Skin" from which you can make a duct tape wallet. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can Duct Tape cure poison ivy? (Besides putting a piece on and ripping it off). --- Reese

The cure is not what duct tape is best at (however, if you duct tape your hands together behind your back until the rash clears up, you won't itch it and spread it around - and it will heal faster). Prevention is where duct tape works best. Before you go hiking, duct tape all exposed flesh. When you return home, shower until all of the poison ivy juices have been rinsed off the tape. Remove and discard the tape. You will be rash free (except for a possible rash from the duct tape glue). --- The Duct Tape Guys
I don't have very good eye sight so it is hard for me to see the pictures on the Photo Caption Contest very well. Can Duct Tape help me? --- Andy A.

Use duct tape to repair everything you might be tempted to pay a high-priced professional to fix. Take all the money that you have saved and use it to purchase a larger monitor. Or, purchase of those big magnifying sheets that people put in the rear window of their motor homes - and tape it over your present monitor. --- The Duct Tape Guys

Hello. Say I am an astronaut in a new space station all by my self for a few days. Then suddenly the station starts decompressing and everything is being sucked out into space. I grab the first thing that flys by me. (which just happens to be duct tape) How would this single roll of duct tape be able to save me and the space station? --- Baracus

Okay, "you are an astronaut." There, we said it. Now, to answer your question: It depends on how extensive the damage is to the space station. If the tape on the roll will cover the damage, you're set. If not, at least you will die happy. --- The Duct Tape Guys
If I were rock climbing and fell, (assuming I had a roll of duct tape handy), how could I use the duct tape to save myself before plummeting to my death? --- Max N.

If falling, fashion a parachute out of duct tape. Work quickly, your life depends on it! --- The Duct Tape Guys
I have been trying to learn how to play guitar for quite some time now, and I just can't seem to get it. How can duck tape enhance my guitar playing abilities? --- Kevin J.

Tune the guitar to any "open" chord. Wrap duct tape around two of your left hand fingers (index and tall man), and use your duct taped fingers as a slide. Presto! You're playing guitar! --- The Duct Tape Guys
I play tuba in my school band, and the tubas are REALLY dented. Since I can't afford a tuba how can i make a tuba and a mouth piece out of duct tape? --- John

Just use one of the tubas that you have at school (they will probably sell you the worst one for $10 or so) and cover it with camouflage Duck® tape and nobody will see the dents. It also might mellow out your tone. As for the mouth piece; you can make one out of a small funnel duct taped to the tube of the tuba. Build up the flip area with more duct tape. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Hey tape guys what makes the sticky stuff sticky (on a molecular level)? Is there any thing it won't stick to and if so why (on a molecular level)? --- Robert S.

Geez, Robert! Just how small is your world?! Since Jim and I are not small enough to operate on a molecular level, we are not able to answer your questions. We suggest you duct tape an electron microscope to your best eye and observe the behaviors and composition of duct tape for yourself. When you find your answer, drop us a line. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How could I conserve energy using duct tape? --- PJ

Read our Top Ten Lists for energy saving ideas. Click here. --- The Duct Tape Guys
HOW COULD DUCT TAPE BE USED TO TAKE THE FACES OFF MT. RUSHMORE AND REPLACE THEM WITH A BIG SCULPTURE OF A MOUNTAIN? --- ELLEN T.

First thing you want to do, Ellen, is to unlock your CAP LOCK on your keyboard so everyone that you email to doesn't think you are shouting at them. Then, since the faces were created by removing the stone from around then, simply recreate the original side of the mountain with stone-gray duct tape (or black duct tape to match the "Black Hills." --- The Duct Tape Guys
Dear Duct tape guys: I am lost in the Labyrinth of the Minotaur. I fear he may find and attack me at any moment. There is a roof covering the top of the labyrinth so I can't climb out. The only thing I have with me are a couple of rolls of duct tape. How can I get out of this maze safely? --- Nathan B.

Is this a hypothetical question? If so, we admire your desire to "be prepared". First, make a replica of yourself out of duct tape and stand it in plain view. Then, wrap yourself in duct tape, sticky side out and hide in a corner and wait for the Minotaur to pass your direction. As he attacks your replica, fling yourself against his tail or hind quarters - the sticky-side-out tape will adhere you to the beast. Then, undetected, you can ride him to safety (most Minotaurs eventually leave the Labyrinth in search of water). --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can duct tape keep the algae from growing in my pond? --- Cheri

Good question. I guess you have US. (Tim's pond is entirely covered with algae dispite his numerous applications of duct tape to the surface of the water.) --- The Duct Tape Guys

Drat - wish we knew what David knew, we could have saved a fabulous prize package and the postage expense! David sez: You can use Duct Tape to stop algae growing in a pool/pond. Just cover the pool over with an opaque lid made from duct-tape, and fastened in place with Duct-tape. No sunlight, no algae. (Algae needs sunlight to grow). You can also use WD-40 to stop algae growing in a pool, although this will kill the fish, but being dark will not kill the fish. --- David


I work with a bunch of Mexicans and I sometimes get mad at them because they like to speak in their language so that nobody else can hear what they are saying. How can duct tape help with this problem? --- Nancy F.

Duct tape a Spanish dictionary to your arm so you can interpret what they are saying. Soon, you will learn enough Spanish to understand what they are saying. You will figure out that Mexicans are normal people just like you (we are assuming here that you are normal). You can develop new friendships and broaden your little world. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Is there a way that duct tape can make old paintings (eg. Mona Lisa, Last Supper, Sistine Chapel ceiling, etc.) more colorful, lively, and like they were just painted yesterday again? --- Dave

Art restoration experts carefully remove the crud covering up old paintings. I suppose that duct tape, if used very carefully could accomplish this task with great success. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I have ADD. Can Duct Tape help me? --- Lulu

Duct Tape yourself to whatever you are supposed to be paying attention to. --- The Duct Tape Guys


If I was out in the woods with just a roll of duct tape, how could a make a hot shower. --- Michael C.

Mike: Do what Tim actually did - it works great. Make a big black duct tape bag that collects rain water (suspend it between trees). When the rain quits and the sun comes out, the black tape will super-heat the rainwater. When the desired temperature has been reached, stand under the bag and poke several small holes in the tape for the water to spray out of. When you are finished, put a strip of tape over the holes and wait for more rain. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Can duct tape stop the technology sector of the stock market from falling? --- leberi

If America relied more on duct tape (that will never let you down) and less on technology (which often lets you down) the stock market would be more stable. Consider the word crashed, as in "my computer crashed" and "the stock market crashed." Coincidence? We don't think so. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Hey duct tape guys, I work full-time and I own a dog. I'm never home to walk him, but i love him to death, so I won't give him away. Is there any way duct tape can help take my dog for walks? --- Chris F.
I believe that it was Sting that once said, "If you love someone, set them free." If you really loved your dog, you would either give him away or get home on time to take him for walks. How about duct taping a big note in front of you at your place of employment telling you that it's time to go home and walk the dog? Either that, or use duct tape in your job to shorten the time it takes to accomplish your job... you can leave earlier and get in some good canine walking time. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I'm a paintball player and I want better range and accuracy out of my marker. Since all the paintballs have to fly out of the barrels at the same set speed, and the shells are very fragile, how can duct tape make my marker gun shoot farther and straighter? I've already tried rifling the barrel but the balls broke? WD 40 only spins the balls and makes them wobble all over the place. Is my cause lost? --- Aaron A. G.

Extend the range and accuracy of your gun by duct taping a longer barrel on the gun. Spray the inside of both barrel lengths with WD-40 to prevent paintball friction when exiting the barrel. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How do I use duck tape to start a fire? --- Mike

Duct tape a stick onto your leg and run around in circles until the stick, because of friction, bursts into flames. (Caution: this hint may result in burning sensation on your foot and/or leg.) And, you might want to duct tape an air sickness bag to your face to avoid mess and embarrassment when you get dizzy from twirling around for up to fifteen minutes. --- The Duct Tape Guys
My car windshield leaks water and I tried Duct-taping over the edges. It worked fine for about a month, but due to high air resistance from driving, it pealed off. I also live in Minnesota, so cold temperatures would have a negative impact on its adhesion. Can duct tape still help me? --- Bruce Hedtke

Bruce: Spare the tape and spoil the job! You are either using a sub-quality tape or not enough. We recommend Duck® brand for the best quality. Look for their UV coated tape - preventing the UV rays from delaminating the tape will help your tape job to last longer. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can world hunger be solved using only duct tape? --- Ed M.

Tape over the mouths of the affluent in the world after they have reached minimum daily requirements of food (and other material goods). Then share the wealth of resources that they are not consuming with the rest of the world. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I take Kung-Fu, and I am the worst in my class. How can duct Tape help me become the greatest kung-fu legend ever? --- BJ

Duct tape yourself to the nearest Kung-Fu Master. --- The Duct Tape Guys

I've been hemming my pants with duck tape for years now. I've moved to a warmer climate and wear shorts. Your grey duck tape clashes with my golf pants. How can I color your tape to match my pants color. Crayons and paint do not stick! --- Russ K.

Duck® brand duct tape has a wide variety of colors. We're sure you will find all the colors you need at duckproducts.com. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can I exercise using duct tape and/or WD-40? I don't have any equipment, and I can't just lift rolls of duct tape, they're too light. --- Kaptain Cnoledge

Pull off a strip of duct tape about three feet long. Double it over onto itself. Make a loop at both ends. Use this as a resistance pull for isometric exercises. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I am in the military and the fake leather (plastic) shoes I wear are constantly getting scuffed. Once scuffed they are useless. How can Duck Tape stop the scuffs without ruining my military appearance? --- Nick

Black Duck® brand Duct Tape is really shiny - just like your military issue shoes are supposed to look. Cover them in this tape and you will have a nice shine and at the same time prevent scuffing. --- The Duct Tape Guys
How can I get flowers (plastic or otherwise) to stick to tombstones? They keep falling off! --- SK

Wrap the stone with duct tape - all the way around - then tape the flowers to the duct tape. they will not fall off. --- The Duct Tape Guys
We were in a car accident and decided to put the taillight back together with duct tape but then the light didn't go through. Is there a better way to do this? --- dpbell

You can correct the massive damage with duct tape - as for the clear (red) plastic over the lamp - you must resort to lesser tapes - they have a special clear red tape for this very purpose available at your local auto supply store. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I work in a restaurant, and we serve alot of cheeseburgers. the problem is the person who cut's the bun's usually cuts them in all the way through. I was wondering how I can hold the buns back together? --- TIM

Serve up the "Duct Tape Burger" - just put a little duct tape hinge on the bun - and charge an extra 50¢. It will become the talk of the town. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I am addicted. I am duct taping everything.. Is that a known fetish? --- Chef32...

No - that is normal and healthy. --- The Duct Tape Guys
As I run around the shop, barking orders and giving directions to my employees, my coffee cup doesn't seem to be able to keep up with me! I spend valuable time and money looking for my lost coffee cup. How can duct tape or WD-40 fix my problem? --- Doug W.

Duct tape your coffee cup into your hand. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I have a cat that has a scratching post but instead, she uses the couch. What can I do? --- Anonymous.

This really works - put duct tape, sticky-side-out on the place that you want the cat to stay away from. The cat will scratch it once, get stuck and tangled, and never go back there again. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I have a Rottweiler with fleas,she weighs over 100 pounds with a bad
attitude. The vet will not flea dip her because of bad attitude,so how can duct tape help with my flea problem? I know how the duct tape can help with the attitude , It's better than a mussel.It just pulls some of her hair. --- william h.

Encase your entire dog in duct tape - no more fleas - no more shedding - eventually - no more dog! --- The Duct Tape Guys
I have a Furby Baby - one of those obnoxious toys that won't shut up. He keeps complaining that he needs to be tickled. I have already taken him apart and he has still not shut up! How can I make him look cooler and be silent using the Ultimate Power Tool, Duct Tape? --- Hunter

Duct Tape your Furby Baby to a cement block and dump him/her into the river. --- The Duct Tape Guys (Read The Beanie Basher Handbook for more ideas.)
My office PC keeps crashing (its the Blue Screen of Death on Microsoft Windows NT). Our company's computer nerds can't fix it. Can duct tape help? --- Roy Dye

Wrap your PC in duct tape, use it as a boat anchor or door stop, then go out and purchase a Macintosh. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Well, Duct Tape Guys, how can duct tape be like "caulk on a roll" if it lifts (no longer sticks down) after exposure to sun and light rain, while holding plastic over a leaky sunroof?? Frankly, I'm mystified! Or, at least frusterpated. --- Norm

Get Duck® brand's Duct Tape with UV coating - it resists the sun's rays and therefore doesn't delaminate like lesser tapes. --- The Duct Tape Guys
My boyfriend and I were having sex and his condom broke, is there any way you can fix it with duct tape and still not be able to feel it, as if it was brand new? --- jnb

Duct Tape makes an excellent chastity belt. Save yourself for marriage. --- The Duct Tape Guys
My little cousin still cant swim. Is there anyway duct tape can help her swim? --- BigHurt

Yes, we have suggested in our books that you can duct tape unopened potato chip bags onto her arms to act as floatees. Then, if stranded at sea, once she learns how to tread water, she can open the bags and have food until she is rescued. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I lost a library book somewhere in my messy house. How can duct tape help me find it again? --- McKay

Do what we do: Cover yourself in duct tape, sticky-side-out, and roll around the house picking up all loose objects. Have your /spouse/roommate/partner/significant other pick the stuff off of you and either put it where it belongs, file it, or throw it away. Continue rolling until the book shows up. (It is common courtesy to let the picker/filer/thrower to keep any money found.) --- The Duct Tape Guys
Dear ducktape guys- I always make things out of duck tape, and I tend to leave scraps all over the living room. I have a little dachshund, Rusty, who always ends up having a piece of tape stuck to his fur, which I have to painfully rip off. How can I continue with my duck tape art, but not have a bald dog by the end of the summer? --- rachel

Cover your dog entirely in duct tape and the tape that adheres to him/her will be easier to remove. Bonus: You won't have the terrible shedding problem anymore. --- The Duct Tape Guys

Dear Duct Tape Guy(s): I like to customize my clothing with duct tape so that im not caught up into what everyone else is wearing but the duct tape falls off in the washer and I dont want to keep replacing the duct tape everytime I wash the clothes...what should i do? Sincerely --- Dave Schroeder

No problem Dave, just make your clothing entirely out of duct tape and you won't need to wash it - you just hose yourself off. --- The Duct Tape Guys (see our Duct Tape Fashions pages for examples)


Can you think of a way that we can incorporate duct tape into a stag night/bachelor party to ensure that the husband to be is given the best night to remember by his mates, something that he'll remember even in his drunken stupor! Tradition dictates that we give him a night to remember and ensure that he finds himself in a few compromising positions! --- Simon

Do what these guys did: Duct Tape Bachelor AbDUCTion. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Ok I want to know if it is possible to a shark proof suit out of only duct tape. --- Sheila

Sheila: If you use enough duct tape (like about eighty layers), I don't think that the shark would be able to bite through it. However, you still would probably be squished to death leaving your mushed up dead body firmly preserved in the duct tape suit - like a massive metalic mummy. Then again, even if you survived the jaws of the shark, you would probably die a claustrophobic death being wrapped in so much duct tape. Better stick with baby parana - just cover your finger in about eight layers of tape. --- The Duct Tape Guy

As a teenager, my orthodontic retainer fell out of my mouth and was run over by a car. This snapped the mouthplate in half. I took it to a dental supply store who said there wasn't any kind of glue or adhesive to fix it. I had to buy a new retainer. How could I have fixed this with duct tape? --- Irene Baldwin, Bronx, NY

With the right glue - Loctite’s super glue (which the dental labs won't reveal because they want to sell you a new retainer) and duct tape to hold the item together while the glue sets, you could have fixed your retainer no problem. Or, you could have just duct taped your teeth in place so they won't be moving on you. --- The Duct Tape Guy

I accidentally drove my car through the back wall of my garage, down a twenty-foot drop and into a flowing stream full of raw sewage. I have a 1999 ford explorer. The tow company says there's nothing they can do except let the car sit, is there any way that duct tape could help me in my dilemma? --- yours, high insurance premium boy - Gene

Sounds like a fitting end to an Exploder. No duct tape needed here, just count your blessings and go out and find a fuel efficient car. --- The Duct Tape Guys

My new bike was stolen and all they left was the wheels. Can you make a bike frame from Duct tape that I can ride --- Matt

Idiots! Don't they know that the wheels are the most important part of the bike! Stupid! Duh!... Let’s talk about preventing this sad scene. To avoid the heartache of a stolen bike frame, simply cover the entire frame with duct tape into which you have woven barbed wire (available at your local farm/ranch supply store). Would-be thieves will think twice before touching your bike. Just make sure you are extra careful and are bow-legged when you ride the thing, or you will be using duct tape as a bandaging material for your own cuts. --- The Duct Tape Guys
Please save my collie. His name is Mister. He is fairly new to our home and despite everything we've done (except remote electric shock) we cannot get him to stop using the concrete around our pool as his personal toilet. Mister knows better & pulls his stunt in the wee hours of the morning thinking he is eluding detection. This is so severe a problem that we are contemplating sending him away. My husband probably would duct tape Mister just beneath his tail so he would eventually explode. That would really suck, especially for Mister. This problem is getting old, fast, especially when it comes to clean-up detail. Please help save Mister --- Desparate in TX

Do what I did to housetrain our dog. Go out and pee with him in the spot that you want him to pee. After a few nights he will use only that "special spot" where you "pee-bonded" to relieve himself. And, to help him find his way to the special spot, mark the pathway with big duct tape arrows pointing the direction. Don't bother using X-Treme Blaze Orange for the arrows - remember, dogs are colorblind. --- The Duct Tape Guy
My prostate is the size of a grapefruit. How can duct tape help me fix this? --- Skip

A couple strips of duct tape, appropriately placed, can prevent you from wetting your pants while you make your way to the phone to schedule surgery. --- The Duct Tape Guy
If I were blind and I fell into a lake, how would duct tape help me get ashore? --- The Question Guy

Only a rigorous training program could help you to know how to handle this situation. To do this, simulate blindness by covering your eyes with duct tape and then walking backwards into a lake, then walking back into shore. Do this many times, going further out each time. Eventually, you will be able to handle blind swimming with no problem. In fact, for you lap swimmers with chlorine-sensative eyes, cover your eyes with duct tape to prevent the redness. Just feel for the lane ropes to maintain your course. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I really need my coffee in the morning but I've discovered my coffee maker has mold (yuck) inside of it... so how can I use duck tape only to get rid of the mold? --- Mike

Line the inside of the pot (over the mold) with duct tape. After a few pots, rip out the tape (removing some of the mold) and retape. After about ten pots, the mold should be gone. --- The Duct Tape Guy
My moose is on fire! What do I do? --- Waldo

Go out, buy some buns, then settle back and enjoy some moose burgers. Them’s FINE EATIN’! (Use duct tape to remove any remaining moose hair from the burger.) --- The Duct Tape Guy
I have been imprisoned by terrorists in a section of Scotland where they only believe in using scotch tape. They confiscated my only duct tape, and have trapped me in a bubble made of nothing but scotch tape, and have suspended the bubble over a pit of snakes. 1.) How do I get out of the bubble with duct tape? 2.) How do I make them stop playing their bagpipes? ----Waldo

Waldo: Put a strip of duct tape over your mouth and three or four layers over each arm. This will prevent you from getting the drugs into your system. The hallucinations should stop within a week or two. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I cannot find my homework assignment, and if I don't find it I will fail the subject. --- Matt

Matt: In the future, duct tape the homework assignment someplace where you can easily find it, like to your girlfriend's photo, or on your bathroom mirror. In the meantime, read through our archives, we have answered this question before. We just can't remember what we recommended. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I take really bad pictures. How can duct tape help me become a better photographer? --- Rachael

Duct tape the camera to your face allowing one eye to see only what is in the viewfinder of the camera. Soon, you will be recognizing the difference between a real photo opportunity and stuff that is just commonplace. When you see a great frame - just reach up to the camera and click the shutter. --- The Duct Tape Guy

I'm really tired of emptying the dishwasher. How can duct tape relieve me of this chore without creating any new ones? --- Rachael

Tape the dishwasher door shut. This will prevent you from loading it and thereby never have to unload it. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I can never seem to get my kool-aid to taste right. its always too sugary or not enough. can duct tape fix this? --- jojo

Duct tape the KoolAid package instructions to the side of the appropriately sized sugar measuring cup. --- The Duct Tape Guy
My sister plays the organ and most organs have wood seats and when ever she plays she slips off the front, I have tried duct tape sticky-side down and my sister will not let me do duct tape sticky-side up because whenever she plays she wears a nice dress. is their any other way duct can help. --- Evan, the duct tape boy

Make her a special dress out of duct tape (see our fashion pages). Put two little squares of duct tape, sticky-side-out on the "butt" area of the duct tape dress. This will stop the sliding. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I went to a horse show and my horse pulled up lame. Is there anything I can do to fix his foot with duct tape so I can jump him in the next class? --- Megz

Duct tape is always a staple in a tack shed and at the large animal vet. Just tape the horse's leg up real good and it will give it the extra strength that it needs to pull through for you! --- The Duct Tape Guys
My little kitten keeps coughing up hair balls, is there any hope for her with the use of duct tape? --- jess

Sure. Just feed your cat little balls of sticky-side-out duct tape. When they pass through the cat's system, the fur will stick to the duct tape balls and pass right through to the litter box (we think - actually, we're allergic to cats otherwise we'd test it for you). --- The Duct Tape Guys
The choke on my 83 AMC Eagle hates me when its colder than 35 degrees outside. Is there any way to teach it a lesson with duct tape? --- Mike B. , Lake Villa, IL

Duct tape a hot water bottle to the engine temperature sensor and it won't know that it is less than 35 degrees out. (In the absence of a hot water bottle you can substitute a little kitten. - Just kidding.) --- The Duct Tape Guys


It's 2:30 in the morning, and I've just realized that my speech is due in approximately 12 hours for speech class. It needs to be 5-7 minutes, with Powerpoint™ and everything. I haven't even started yet, but without a doubt it has to be on duct tape. How can duct tape help me get my speech done in time and with a good grade? --- Exciting Eric

Just read our books and report on them. No time to run to the store? Read our web site and report on it. You should be able to get at least three hours of material off of it. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I like playing a computer game called Age of Empires 2. In that game you need to create a large army and command it. I am very bad at commanding. Can Duct Tape make me a better commander? --- Andy A.

Since duct tape was only invented during WWII, they are still experimenting with utilizing duct tape in the ROTC. However, Jim and I could offer some advice from personal experience. Underlings (like privates in the Army) are usually kept submissive by intimidation practices. You can LOOK really intimidating if you duct tape yourself into a very muscular physique. To do this, duct tape in your gut (the fat will bulge upward increasing the mass in your chest area). Duct tape small pillows onto your arms and shoulders. Then, tape all of your head except for a mouth crack, nose hole and eye slits. You will look like one intimidating mother and will command respect of both your troops and your opponents alike. --- The Duct Tape Guys
I tore one of my contact lenses, is there anything I can do with duct tape to be able to use that lens again? --- -jess

Tear your eye in half and duct tape half of the lens to each half of the eye?
We don't know - let us think about it for a while... Okay, We're done thinking. Nope - duct tape won't fix that .
We guess you
us. Send your snail mail address and I will get you hooked up with a fabulous prize package! --- The Duct Tape Guys


My computer screen is fuzzy. Can Duct Tape fix it? --- Andy A.

Yes, purchase some reading glasses, punch out the lenses, and duct tape the lenses onto your face. The screen will sharpen right up. If it doesn't, you might want to duct tape your head into a paint shaker and turn it on for about three minutes. Then, everything will be fuzzy - making the computer monitor look normal. --- The Duct Tape Guys

Which came first: the chicken, the egg, or duct tape? --- Mike K.

Duct tape wasn't invented until the 1940s - so I would take a wild guess and say that the egg came first followed by the chicken, and then duct tape (which comes in handy when constraining your chickens so they don't cross the road. --- The Duct Tape Guy

I have recently lost my two front teeth in an accident involving a soccer ball. It's very hard for me to chew my food and talk. How can duct tape help me? --- M

Make some duct tape dentures - either out of solid silver duct tape (or white duct tape - or yellow for that British look). If you need the tape to be harder, duct tape over a dime. --- The Duct Tape Guy
I'm trying to get a new job... can duct tape convince my new (prospective) employer to hire me? --- Troy

Yes, bind and gag them with duct tape and only release them when you are hired. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I've wanted to start snow boarding but I don't have money for the equipment so I was wondering if I could make a snow board out of duct tape? --- Scott Chapple

Duct tape your boots onto a waterski, a wake board, or a couple of cafeteria trays and hit the slopes! --- The Duct Tape Guys


What about Red Green?
I just finished enjoying "The Jumbo Duct Tape Book" and was startled to see that I'd already used a few of your ideas (including using duct tape to hem my pants; to repair a disposable diaper after demolishing the adhesive strips on the last one in the house; and a couple of others). I was most puzzled, however, by the complete absence of the legendary Red Green from any of the references in your book. Considering how heavily he uses and promotes it in his show, it seems that a kindred spirit like him would have turned up somewhere! I hope there isn't any bad blood here! --- Bill Bader

We actually asked Red Green to write the forward of our third duct tape book... but he refused. Heck he wouldn't even return our nice phone calls. Go figure... we did a live show with him, gave him a ride to the airport, made him a red and green duct tape jacket (featured in our duct tape fashions page), and we thought he was a real nice guy. We do mention Red and The Red Green Web Site in several spots on our site. You see, to us, we are all just evangelists, sharing the gospel of duct tape. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I am a vegan and wanted to know if there are any types of animal products in the tapes adhesive. Also what is duct tape made from. If you would email me back shortly with a reply , I would be most obliged. --- thanks josh

Duct tape is made from a rubber based adhesive, plastic, and cotton (or other plant and synthetic) fiber. By the way, it's not edible - so, as much as you might be tempted to eat it as a meat substitute, we'd recommend against it. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I'm a drummer and I want to know if there is any way to keep me from throwing my sticks and mortally wounding anyone (including myself) while going wild and getting too crazy or just by accident. I read and own your jumbo duct tape book and duct taping the sticks to my hands limits my playing. This problem has been plaguing me for many years. Please help. --- Muffs88

It limits your playing!? Just drink eight cups of coffee before your next gig and tape the sticks into your hands. You'll be doing one-handed rolls to rival Buddy Rich, no problem! --- The Duct Tape Guys


My heart worries for the spiritual conditions of those around me. I am a Christian and try my best to live a life that will witness to those around me. Sometimes I wonder how to get the message of the Gospel to others. How can duct tape help me testify to others that God loves them? --- Timothy J. Cabrera

Well Tim, if your life is a testimony to your faith, if you duct tape an unbeliever to your leg, they will be forced to be with you night and day, thereby witnessing the difference that Christ has made in your life. Through the phenomenon of this duct tape "bondage" they will soon be able to reach their own decision to accept Christ as their personal savior. Or, you will totally turn them off through this experience and the Holy Spirit will be on His own to convert them (but, I think He can handle the task). --- The Duct Tape Guy

I've always been curious about this: How could duct tape have prevented the fall of the Roman empire? --- Sylvia

Heck, if the Roman empire had duct tape, it would never have fallen. They would have been the dominating world power to this day! Unfortunately, duct tape was not invented until World War II by the U.S. Military to keep the moisture out of ammunition cases. Now look who's the dominant world power! --- The Duct Tape Guys


My girlfriend has a rather small bust line, and she says' that since I'm mechanically inclined and have duct tape-saavy". I should be able to fix such [that is INCREASE her "challenged" problem]. Can duct tape be used in this situation through a Tried-and-Tested manner? Please Help! --- Artragious

Sure - the beauty queens (and drag queens) use duct tape for cleavage enhancement. Tape away (just note that it is a little sticky getting it off). --- The Duct Tape Guys


I'm married to the most wonderful lady in the world. We have four lovely kids and I adore them beyond description. My wife says that she wants more kids, but I think that four is enough. I'm afraid to make love to her anymore for fear that she might get pregnant again. Any suggestions? --- Bob

Make yourself a duct tape chastity belt. --- The Duct Tape Guys


My favorite NFL football team is in 3rd place in their division. How could duct tape help them win? --- Jacquelynn

Duct tape the hands of your receivers, sticky-side-out. Then, duct tape the yard lines, sticky-side-up and don't tell the opposing teams. Talk about home field advantage! --- The Duct Tape Guys


My hollandaise has separated. How can I repair this with duct tape? --- David Weinberger

Bummer, dude! We'd suggest putting the hollandaise in a jar and duct taping the jar to a jackhammer. The vibration will remix the sauce in no time. (Remember to share your sauce and your duct tape with the workman who lent you the use of his jackhammer.) --- The Duct Tape Guys


Dear Duct Tape Boys, I'm a Doctor of Tequila, and I was wondering if there is a way to judge a fine tequila by using Duct Tape? ---- Dr. Mijo

We didn't know that any University offered that degree. Here's a book that you can read while you are sipping your Tequila. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I know this isn't a humorous question, and I may be sending this to the wrong place, but.... need help. I need to know how to remove duct tape from a cotton shirt. After removing the tape from the shirt the "glue" remains on the fabric and is proving very hard to remove. What could I use to remove the remaining glue??? Something to break down the glue? Please help. --- Nathan

Nathan: Humor? What makes you think this site is humorous? We're serious duct tape evangelists! To answer your question, you can spray the duct tape goo with WD-40 before you throw it into the washer. After two or three washings both the duct tape goo and the WD-40 stain that removed it will be gone (seriously). --- The Duct Tape Guys


Yeah hey well I just get really tired of the cordless phone light and I need a way to make it go away without turning off the light. But the light is also the off button and it is very annoying. Help me. --- TFNBOY...

Just duct tape over the light. Duh. By the way, this is also a great hint for the flashing 12:00 on your VCR. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I like duct tape a lot. I would use it for everything, but I always lose the lock box that I keep my tape supply in. The tape is useless if I can't find it! Help me out here! How do I keep from losing the box? --- Andrew W.

We'd be the first to admit that duct tape is valuable, but why keep it in a lockbox? Just make a duct tape sling/loop to fasten the duct tape to your belt where it is easily accessible. You won't lose it when it is duct taped to your side. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I have been playing the cello for four years, and I would like to think that I am pretty good. Some of my songs require really hard bowing on the strings, which is hard on the horsehair on my bow, and the strings. How can I keep the bowhair and the cello strings from breaking on me?? --- Waldo

We've never tried it, but we imagine that duct tape around your bow, sticky-side-out would make a really fine, durable alternative to the bow hair. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I am seriously into dance. In dance, flexibility means everything. My splits to the front are pretty good, but my side slits are somewhat lacking. How can I use duct tape to improve my flexibility doing the splits sideways. --- MWaldbauer@...

Stand on a chair. Duct tape each ankle to the sides of a door frame. Have someone pull out the chair. You will gain flexibility that you never knew you were capable of as your butt plumets to the floor. Good luck!
P.S. Duct tape and a couple of 2 by 4's make a great splint for broken ankles. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I live in Pittsburgh and my office is in Singapore. I fly 27 hours each way once a month to go to work. How can duct tape make this absolutely unbearably long flight shorter? --- Gene Deutsch

Gene: Call a taxi. Duct tape a note to your chest that says, "Take me to the airport and load me on flight #___." Make sure you have money enough for the cab fare attached to the note. Then, duct tape a bunch of bricks precariously over the front door of your house. When you open the door as you leave for the airport, the bricks will fall on your head rendering you unconscious. The taxi driver will read the note, load you in the cab, take you to the airport, get you on the flight, and you will regain consciousness somewhere over the Pacific. Duct Tape ice to your head to ease the swelling and the resultant headache. There, it's that simple! Hope that helps. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Here in New England we get a lot of leaves this time of year. I'm tired of raking those suckers. how can Duct tape help me? --- Frank

Frank: Invite the neighborhood kids to your yard for a game of football. Before the game, duct tape their feet, sticky-side-out. By the time the game is over, your leaves will be gone. --- The Duct Tape Guys


How do you fix a computer after dropping it off of the Sear's Tower in Chicago with the broken components? --- Chong Xu

Chong: We can only imagine that you are running a Windows machine. Switch to a Macintosh and you won't be so tempted to thrown your computer off of the Sears Tower. Most duct tape users are of a more practical, simple, grass roots ilk and therefore are naturally users of duct tape. Duct Tape can also help you to construct your sentences in a more logical, readible order. Print out this page, cut up your sentence and rearrange the words until they read better. Then, stick the newly reorganized sentence onto duct tape. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I went bungee jumping one day, and while they were testing the strenth of the bungee cord, they snapped it. They can't get another bungee cord until next month. How do you fix a bungee cord with duct tape? (remember, it has to stretch) --- Chong Xu

Chong: You again! Just be thankful that the cord snapped when they were testing it and not when you were jumping, or they would be using duct tape to seal your coffin. --- The Duct Tape Guys


If I was out in the wilderness fishing with limited supplies and it came down to not eating because of a broken fishing line, or messed up lures, would duct tape help? --- Timothy J. Cabrera

Fish seem to be attracted to WD-40. We would suggest ripping a thin strip of duct tape and twirling it into an ultra strong fishing line, shape a piece of duct tape into a lure, then spray down the whole concoction with WD-40. You will be eating fish in no time. And, with the WD-40 coating their innards, you won't have to use shortening when frying them, they will be pre-lubricated. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Who is Red Green and what is he famous for. And who exactly came up with duct tape first...you guys or Red Green. --- Greenberetabn@...

Red Green is another Duct Tape Evangelist (and TV show host) from Toronto (area) Canada. we both started doing duct tape stuff about the same time - totally unaware of the other. We have done some stuff together. He's a great guy! Like Red says, "Duct tape is the handyman's secret weapon." --- The Duct Tape Guys


Hey dhudz,
I'm in a digital electronics class in school, and I have a slight problem. Due to Short school funding, we ran out of wire while making our circuits. How can I electrically connect these two components with duct tape ... it doesn't conduct! The circuit still needs to work. This needs to be the certain wire too, considering the special digital circuit. Please Jim and Tim, help Me!!! --- Xblast@...

Dear Xblast: We fail to see what you need circuits for when you have duct tape. Duct tape is totally self-contained and needs no electricity. You might want to do what other schools have done to raise funds using duct tape. Sell strips of duct tape for $1 a strip and let the students tape the principal to the wall with the tape. You will probably raise enough funds to buy the wire you need for your little electrical project. (You can read more about these brilliant principals, and see actual photos of their wall tapings, by clicking here.) --- The Duct Tape Guys


This year's election got way, goofy with that electoral college and Florida ballots and all. How can duct tape fix the electoral process and prevent this mess from happening again? --- George and Al

Well, George and Al, we feel your pain. We think if one of you would have aligned yourself with duct tape, you would have had a much stronger and decisive lead. But, it's too late for that now. We suggest that one people put a strip of gray duct tape on their ballots to indicate a vote for the Republican party, a strip of red duct tape to indicate a vote for the Democrats, and green for the Green party. Then, your only problem will be to make sure your polling officials aren't color blind. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I work at a hardware store and I have been there for approximately eight years now and the store manager, who will remain nameless, has a tendency to rework the displays that I make during the times when he is not here. This unnamed manager says, "Looks great, I like it!" I say, "Are you sure?" He replies, "Yes." Approximately two days later the display is completely redone to a way that in no way resembles what I originally had done. --- George

George: If you fasten down everything in your display with duct tape, it won't be so easy to rearrange. Eventually, your manager will catch your hint and stop messing with your displays. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Dear duct tape man: I have a gas fireplace in my house and it won't work because the gas is
not coming out to start the fire. HELP! --- Tonya

Your gas isn't coming out because you forgot to pay your gas bill. Here's a great way to remember your bills: Make a giant month-long calendar grid on a wall of your house with duct tape. Now, duct tape the bills in the grid four or five business days before they are due. Each day, check the calendar for bills that you have to pay that day. You will never miss a payment again! --- The Duct Tape Guys


I can play the trumpet, but I can't play very well. How can Duct Tape help me improve my trumpet playing? --- Patrick

Dizzy Gillespie was a great trumpet player and he had those really big, puff-out cheeks. So, we suggest that you make two, two-inch diameter duct tape balls and stuff them in your cheeks. You will probably become instantly better on the trumpet, or at least look like you are really trying hard. --- The Duct Tape Guys


My dad's friend duct taped me to a tree. How can I get him back using duct tape? --- Dino

Perhaps you deserved it... duct tape is to be used for good, not evil... seek no revenge. --- The Duct Tape Guys


The coating on the T-Fal pan I use to fry eggs is peeling apart. Can Duct Tape help?? --- David

As far as we've heard, it's not good to use those pans once the coating starts to separate... so, duct tape over the top of the pan as a reminder to throw the pan out and get a new one. Or, make a burgler alarm out of it. Next time you leave for vacation, hang the old pan over your entry door by one strip of duct tape. Rest the business end of the pan on top of a piece of cardboard that you have duct taped to the top edge of the door. When the door is opened, the pan will fall on the head of the intruder (or on you, if you forget that you put it there). --- The Duct Tape Guys


How can we use duct tape to stop our obsession with the TV show "Friends", but still be able to enjoy other programs? --- Keeley and Danielley

Duct tape over the Friends channel button on your remote control. And, as an added measure of safety, duct tape over the Friends listing in the TV listings (so you don't know when it's on). Or, duct tape yourself to someone interesting so you won't feel the need to waste your time watching these ficticious Friends. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I am not interested in stumping you people but want to report a case where duct tape failed to work for me. Several years ago I attempted to cover a window in my cellar with clear sheet plastic. I tried to tape the plastic to the cellar wall which is concrete painted over. In a few weeks the duct tape failed and began to pull off from the walls. Is there any way I can get the duct tape to stick to the wall? --- Maurice

The problem, Maurice, is that your cellar walls are probably moist or dusty. And duct tape will not stick to wet, moist, or dusty things. So, we suggest that you first waterproof your cellar and then rent a gas forced-air heater unit like the construction sites use in the winter. Run the heater in combination with a dehumidifier continually until the walls are bone dry. Then tape the plastic over the window with ease. And, like we always say, spare the duct tape, spoil the job - use plenty of tape! --- The Duct Tape Guys


My VCR continually "eats" VHS cassette tapes. How can Duct Tape resolve this problem? --- Troy H.

Well, Troy, normally we would say that your tapes are sticking to the capstan... and that if something is stuck and it's not supposed to be, you should spray it with WD-40 to loosen the goo and wipe it away (we also wrote the WD-40 Book, so this isn't a stab in the dark, but a carefully researched answer). But, since you specifically asked how duct tape can resolve the problem, we suggest that you duct tape over the opening of the malfunctioning VCR to prevent the insertion of any more tapes until you fix the problem by implementing our first solution. --- The Duct Tape Guys


To make sure my hard drive on my computer is unreadable, I follow the government's method of busting the drive with a hammer. If I bust it by mistake, is it possible to duct tape the pieces together and use the drive again on my computer? I already have this problem - now. --- Dale

Dale: do you really have the problem, or are you just to cheap to go our and spend $8.95 on our new Jumbo 464-page Duct Tape Book? Sounds like you're not sure if you already busted your harddrive or are just contemplating doing so. By the way, the government's method of destroying a hard drive is by running Window's. Nah, I think you're just trying to scam us out of a book. Put it on your Christmas gift hint list. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I am a Duck Tape fanatic. During my High School years I was known as "Captain Duck Tape" for my ingenious ducktape creations including a jacket (which didn't fit to well due to the fact that I don't know how to make correctly proportioned jackets), a back pack, a super hero outfit complete with glove, mask and chest emblem (probably shouldn't ask about that one) and a wallet that has been through several upgrades and generations but I still use it today. Despite my admiration of all things adhesive, I must say there is one thing duck tape cannot be used for. It does not, cannot, and will not stick t carboard! I don't know why. I am very artistic and intrying to attach several pieces of carboard together to create a nine foot selfportrait of my self (not egotistical at all) My point being I ahd to settle for another kind of packaging tape because despite the amount of Duck Tape I used, it WOULD NOT STICK! why is this and please tell me I stumped you I really want that book. ---The PyroChimp of Ape World (formerly Captain Duck Tape)

You pathetic little duct tape neophite! Can't duct tape cardboard?! You deserve to have lost your title of Captain Duck Tape! Cardboard is not a difficult match for duct tape (unless the cardboard is wax coated or wet). If it was wax coated, you would have trouble drawing or painting on it, so that couldn't be the problem. If you taped it when it was bone dry and free of dust, it should have stuck. Keep trying - and remember, spare the duct tape and spoil the job! --- The Duct Tape Guys


On a serious note (though no doubt it will seem funny by next week); my college sophmore daughter duct taped a tank top on herself for holloween. She could not get it off for 24 hours (she made the mistake of soaking it in place in the shower). After much effort and trying everything from hot blow dryer to ice to vaseline, she said crisco worked. Any other thoughts on duct tape removal I think your website should include instructions. I did suggest to her she go on the web when she first came up with the problem. --- a concerned mom

As the father of a college daughter myself, I can relate to your concern. But, college is a time for education, and now your daughter is smarter about the application of duct tape. We always suggest greasing down with oil or WD-40-like substance prior to taping directly on the skin. This will help removal. You will still have some hair removal, but if you're like me (and I know I am), the older you get, the hairier you get (except on your head)... so you won't mind losing a few here and there. So, next time - lube up before you tape up! --- The Duct Tape Guy


What is the best way to get duct tape off of clothing?

Pull it off. Then, spray any remaining residue with WD-40 - let it sit for a while, then wash. Repeat as needed until the adhesive and the WD-40 residues are gone. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Earlier, you told flipper_5551212 that "[d]uct tape means never having to say [sic] 'Je parles [sic] français.'"
I've always been amazed at the power of duct tape. I wonder, though, if duct tape is impressive enough to prevent grammatical errors in foreign languages, is it also powerful enough to preclude punctuation errors in one's native tongue? --- Paul Hanbury

Yes. It is just THAT powerful! --- The Duct Tape Guys


I have to win the rest of my fantasy football games in order to make the playoffs. Can duct tape help? --- Jon

No. Forget fantasy football and duct tape yourself to the star running back of the top Super Bowl contender's team - you may be pummeled to death in the process, but you'll make playoffs, oh, yes, you'll make playoffs. --- The Duct Tape Guys


My hair gel keeps leaving a sticky film on my palms, it's getting bad, my girlfriend is wondering what I'm doing in the bathroom for so long in the morning. Water doesn't take off the film, and later, as it dries, the problem only gets worse. How can duct tape help me with this problem? --- Thanks, Kevin

Tape over your hands before applying the get, then remove the tape (and the film after you are done styling your hair. Or, forget the gel and just duct tape over your entire crannium! You'll be sporting the most popular hairstyle around! Your doo will never need washing and certainly won't be mussed in the wind. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Hello. I suffer from dry red eyes (usually while driving). how can duct tape help me with this with out imparing my vision. --- Max

Max: Your dry eyes while driving are probably caused by the heating and air conditioning vents blowing up at your face. To avert the airflow, we recommend making duct tape baffles over the vents that directs the airflow toward your feet. Unless you are very short, this should eleviate the dry eye problem. --- The Duct Tape Guys


My bedroom window is leaking water from around the top of the blinds. I currently have some beach towels duct taped to the window to prevent a puddle from forming, but how can I permanently fix my problem? P.S. Also, I live in apartments, so I can't do anything that will get me evicted. --- Max (again)

Man, you are just plagued with problems! Duct Tape is like caulk on a roll. Duct Tape around the window frame on the outside of the house (assuming that's where the water is coming from). Oh, apartment dweller? Well, that makes it even easier, duct tape the landlord to your window frame until he/she does something to correct the problem. --- The Duct Tape Guys


How can duct tape help me get over a chest cold? --- Kevin N.

Well, Kevin, try duct taping several mustard packets to your chest to create a "mustard plaster" just like (similar to) what grandma used to recommend. I used this method and, by golly, if the cold didn't totally disappear in just three weeks! --- The Duct Tape Guy


Here is my question. My hood on my convertible broke off 2 months ago and I have tried being like you guys and duct tape a new hood on, but the wind seems to always knock it back down...Do you have any suggestions how to keep it up? --- Scott Milkey

Duct tape should hold anything down - just make sure that the surfaces that you are adherring it to are clean and dry, and don't spare the duct tape! Spare the duct tape and spoil the job! --- The Duct Tape Guys


I'm stumped... Very recently, to keep out rain, I used Duct Tape to temporarily fasten a sheet of transparent plastic over my driver side window until I could get the electric window repaired. Now that I've removed the plastic and tape, there's a bunch of glue gunk on the chrome and paint. What can I use to remove the residue without damaging the chrome/paint? Home Depot recommended GooGone, but that didn't seem to help. Do you have any sure-fire solutions? --- Bill

Bill: Give it a soaking of WD-40 - let it sit for a while - then whip it off repeat until all of the goo is gone. --- The Duct Tape Guys (who also wrote "The WD-40 Book")


I was working in my lab and i accedentaly spliced the wrong jean. Can ductape fix it????? --- Evan

Evan: Juging frum yer speling, you aint no scintist! So we can only assume that you mean mending your blue jeans (pants). Do what we do... duct tape your hems up, and reinforce the "wear spots" like the knee, pockets, and butt areas. Your jeans will last years longer, resist tears, and if you spill on yourself while barbecuing, you can just hose yourself off. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Hey, I think this is a pretty good question. Can you use duct tape to demostrate in a sensible manner why we have eyebrows? --- Babee2004...

Well, Babee... just stick a strip of duct tape, sticky-side-out over each eyebrown. At the end of the day, you will be able to examine all of the junk stuck to the tape and therefore prove that your eyebrows are very effective in keeping that junk from going into your eyes. However, they'd be even more effective if they were as sticky as duct tape! --- The Duct Tape Guys


Your pants are way too small and won't fit. --- Steve K.

How did you know our pants were way too small? Do what we do... just cut out the back seam of your pants, split it down to the bottom of your butt. Now spread the split seam and use duct tape to create a "V" expanding the waist band up to ten inches. Legs can be lengthened by adding strips of duct tape around the cuff (it also prevents heel wear on the pant leg). --- The Duct Tape Guys


I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend next week, how can duct tape help me? --- Shah

Do what Tim did to get his wife: Duct tape her to your leg and don't let her go until she accepts your proposal. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I have to do a science project in which I need to insulate a potato for 10 minutes at a certain temperature. How would I do this --Matt

First get the potato to the temperature desired, wrap the potato in aluminum foil, then Bubble Wrap, then cover that with five layers of duct tape. That should hold the temperature for at least ten minutes. And make the potato pretty much impermiable. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I have an older tractor that leaks gas at the valve where the handle you turn to turn the gas on and off at the bottom of the gas tank. Can duct tape fix that? --- Diane A.

Since gasoline disolves the glue on duct tape, I suggest that you duct tape a large funnel underneath the drip, duct tape a hose to the funnel and run the hose back into the gas tank... wait a minute... this is sounding familiar! Hey, I think we just answered this question dealing with an oil leak (check the archives...). --- The Duct Tape Guys


How can our freshmen orchestra use duct tape to give our orchestra seniors a nice goodbye tribute? And how could we use it in our float for the homecoming parade? --- Arianne & Keeley

The first thing that comes to mind is a complimentary duct taping of all of their instrument cases. We have yet to see an instrument case that hasn't been (or couldn't be) enhanced, repaired, and strengthened with duct tape. We suggest using different colors of duct tape for the different chairs or sections. Duck® brand Duct Tape has a wide array of colors including new X-Treme colors (like blaze orange, hot pink, lime green and citron yellow). As for the float... what a tremendous idea! Hold a Duct Tape Parade and have all of the floats decorated with duct tape (like the Rose Parade has all of their floats adorned with roses). --- The Duct Tape Guys


I tried to pull up the olympic site the first day it started, my browser runs ssooooo ssslllllloooooowwwww that when it finally came up, the games were over. How can duct tape make my browser run as fast as --- Maurice Greene? --- Marie Zirkle

Duct Tape your computer to his leg. --- Duct Tape Guys


How can duct tape save my sagging stock portfolio? --- laughing polarbare

Buy stock in duct tape companies... they will never let you down! There will ALWAYS be a bull market for duct tape. --- The Duct Tape Guys (not real market analysts, but we dd dabble in mutual fun)


I am not allowed to use sharp impliments of any kind,after cutting up the wife's credit cards she says anything that can inflict that much pain on her should be locked up. Here in Canada Thanksgiving is just around the corner and now I am stuck with the problem of slicing the turkey. How am I going to accomplish this with duct tape? --- Paul Mullin

Paul: Duh! You should have just duct taped over that magnetic strip on her card rendering it useless... No, wait... then she would have taken away your duct tape! No sir. You did the right thing Paul. Not only that, you got out of the horendous duty of carving the turkey! Good thinking Paul! We laud your creativity! You are an inpiration to men everywhere! --- The Duct Tape Guys


OK here is my question I have just had a fish tank given to me and it is a hexagon tank so you can see through it but it has a crack on in the glass my question is how do I fix the crack and not be able to see where it was cracked at or any other blemishes done to the tank? --- Lizard on my skin.

Dear Lizard on your Skin: Duct tape a mural onto the cracked glass side of the aquarium. We suggest the great pyramids, or some kind of desert scene. This will make the fish glad that they are where it is cool and wet rather than hot and dry. Or, you can just cover all of the sides with duct tape and pretend that there are fish swimming inside. This will save you a bundle on fish food and prevent you from having to clean the tank. --- The Duct Tape Guy


Can duct tape fix a major crack in a transmision on my truck? It leaks about 3 pints a week. --- Suzi Tarr

If you wrap anything with enough duct tape it will stop leaking. However, I suggest you do what Jim and I did (our truck leaks about two quarts a week). Duct tape a funnel under the transmission where it is leaking, and duct tape a hose onto the funnel and route the hose up into the filler tube that goes to the transmission. Half way up the hose route, duct tape a small wind-driven pump that will activate as the vehicle goes down the road. This will pump the dripping transmission fluid from the bottom of the vehicle and route it right back into the transmission. This works with oil pan leaks, too. Just route the hose into the oil filler cap and not the transmission filler tube. --- The Duct Tape Guy


Is the Duct Tape Guy singular or plural? Some answers are signed Duct Tape Guy and some as Duct Tape Guys. I also notice that in the picture of the guy at the top of the page there is no duct tape to be seen. He holds a pipe wrench in one hand, a toilet plunger in the other and a tool bag at his belt, but no duct tape. Is he a real duct tape guy or a professional model? --- Mike Hatchimonji

Good question. Sorry to confuse you. The Duct Tape Guys are plural (Jim and Tim), however some of the answers are completed by just one of us, therefore we print, "the Duct Tape Guy." The guy above is a poor soul who has not been enlightened to the Gospel of Duct Tape, and is stuck with trying to use more primative and complicated tools to fix stuff. We are glad to note that since this photo was taken, the guy has come around and now uses only duct tape to "fix" what is ailing in his house. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Now, I'm a senior in high school and trying to do the impossible task, choosing where, or whether to go to college or not. Can duct tape end this misery once and for all? --- Korthais

Duct tape is a staple at most colleges that we have visited, so wherever you chose to go, you will find a common bond with duct tape. I suggest covering your ceiling with duct tape, sticky-side-down and throw all of your college catalogs up into the air. The books will stick to the tape, but then eventually fall again one by one. The last one remaining on the duct tape is the college you should attend. --- The Duct Tape Guy


My friend ran into a deer on his way home one night and it bent his radiator to a point that it would keep the engine from running and well we would have tried to turn the radiator around so the bent side faces out but well it won't fit in the body molding that he already bought is there any thing that can be done with out having to replace the radiator or ductaping the radiator outside the body molding. --- Rod

I think your thought of duct taping the radiator to the outside of the vehicle is a great idea! Go with that one... in fact, you have motivated us to make the same vehicular enhancement. By the way, to prevent other run-ins with deer, duct tape one of the deer's natural preditors to your hood (like a hunter). --- The Duct Tape Guys


I'm having trouble securing Flightline to the Vortex Generators on my airplane wing, can duct tape be used? --- JDF

We aren't aviation specialists, but our rule is: If it ain't stuck and it's supposed to be, duct tape it! Go for it (just make sure you don't blame us when the thing goes down). --- The Duct Tape Guys


Well, you see, I have a problem, I want to get into this band, but they will only let me play if I bring my own electric guitar( P.S. they say I have to build it myself ), and can play it like jimmi hendrix. How will duct tape help me accomplish what they ask. This is difficult, because the only instrument I have ever played is the triangle. --- Peter Hug

Peter: Start your own all duct tape band: You are the leader on the triangle (dangling from a duct tape strap, of course). Other players must create their instruments out of at least 30% duct tape. This will not only create a unique "new age sound", but will also provide you with the marketing angle that will attract the media. It souldn't be too long before you'll be featured on the cover of Rolling Stone! --- The Duct Tape Guys


How can I use Duct Tape and WD-40 to repair where my refridgerator is falling through the floor of my trailer house? I already have one piece holding the door shut. --- Curtis Baumgartel

Duct tape turns any appliance into an under-the-counter appliance. In the case of your refrigerator, you may want to use about a case of duct tape to secure it into position. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I love your site and use duck tape for all my repairs. But there is one thing that could save me thousands of dollars. Every once in a while my wife tells be she broke her "woder". We end up having to go to the hospital and spending lots of money. Even last week I had a choice of buying a warehouse pack of duck tape or some shoes for the kids that we brought home from the hospital after her "woder" broke. So how do I use duck tape to fix "woder"? --- Hiro the Handyman

Hiro: A couple well-placed strips of duct tape will prevent this from happening. Our books and this web site are G-rated, so I can't elaborate. However, I'm sure you catch my drift... --- The Duct Tape Guy


I'm a firefighter and we have a problem with a self contained breathing apparatus cylinder that has a small hole in it. How can we use duct tape to repair it. They cylinder holds 4500 psi of compressed air and has to be able to withstand tempretures of over 900 degrees F. --- MFD37

The military uses duct tape on hydrallic hoses, so you might come close to a patching solution using massive quantities of duct tape. However, we suggest that you stop worrying about this problem by retiring with a good book... like, for instance, one of the Duct Tape Books. --- The Duct Tape Guys


What is more authentic, the Canarsie or the Weehauken style of Mambo? --- Miserbl

We have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, therefore we cannot possibly be stumped by your question. --- The Duct Tape Guys


My boyfriend plays in a band and he uses duct tape for everything, except for one thing. How can you fix a broken guitar string (it broke right in the middle)? --- Nadia Conte

Do what Jim does: Throw that string away and replace it with a tightly twisted strip of duct tape. This provides a muffled mega-bass sound that actually enhances the sound of your guitar. So, it's not that you have actually STUMPED us, but send us your mailing address and we will send you a flat pack of Duck® brand Duct Tape to try our hint. --- The Duct Tape Guys


Duct Tape Guy: My parents recently returned from a trip to Egypt and were able to view the Great Pyramids. After questioning both of them several times, they both insist not one piece of duct tape was used in the construction. I find this extremely difficult to believe. How is this possible? --- Robert Weed

Well, the shear weight of the pyramids holds them together, but the lack of duct tape has obviously resulted in a LOT of errosion. Check out what we have done to correct that in our world tour slides. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I was wondering how duct tape might be able to fix that pesky little "memory leak" problem that Windows 98 has. My system resources are down to almost 17% so I'll try almost anything. --- Derek

Duct tape around the entire PC and use it as a boat anchor, then go out and buy yourself a Macintosh. --- The Duct Tape Guy


I already have the book. It is a must have for any aircraft mechanic. When I sign-off my repairs in the aircraft logbook those pesky FAA Inspectors keep asking for the Maintenance Manual References. How do I get them to give me my license back? --- Gibeyerson

Duct Tape the Maintenance Manual to the logbook and tell them that you have attached all of the references. --- The Duct Tape Guy


How can duct tape help me get out of running in PE? I can't duct tape the teacher cuz I'd get expelled and duct taping my feet to the floor won't work because they would get the janitor to cut me free? I need to stop the madness of mandatory running in p.e!! --- Maren
Related Stump: How can duct tape help me win a marathon? --- Jason

Maren: Let someone else do the running for you! Duct tape yourself to Jason.
Jason: Duct tape yourself to the lead camera vehicle covering the marathon (page 145 in The Jumbo Duct Tape Book). --- The Duct Tape Guys


For the cit program at the summer camp I go to you need to make and have directions to four simple projects and two complex projects (those need to take at least 3hours to finish) I was wondering if you had any projects that I could do with duct tape because i loooooooooove duct tape. Thanks --- Liz

You can order "Ductagami" from our bookstore or by clicking here. It is filled with duct tape projects. Tape on, dude! --- The Duct Tape Guys


Would duct taping big "X's" over local gas station sign prices help to lower the cost of gasoline? --- Paul Suckow

Here's a clever idea. Wrap duct tape around the end of a long pole, sticky-side-out. Now, reach up and stick the tape onto the "1" of the $1.69 per gallon on the station's road sign. Suddenly $1.69/gal becomes $.69 per gallon. Fill up your tank and then pay only 69¢ per gallon "as advertised." --- The Duct Tape Guys


How can I use duct tape to put on my shoes? --- John Burlage

Do what Jim and I do, tie your shoes loosely, then duct tape over the laces... this will turn any pair of shoes into slip-ons. And, to prevent the heel from getting stepped down, just tape a doubled-over strip of duct tape right onto the heel of each shoe which will act as a built-in shoe horn. --- The Duct Tape Guys


I have a pet cat Hellen that was born without the abilitys to hear or see. How can duct tape restore Hellen's sight and sound senses? --- Jim

How sad. Fortunately, Duck Tape hearing aids can be made for your cat by forming large megaphone-type cones which you secure to the cat's head using Duck Tape. As for the ability to see - unless you can make rods and cones that are small enough to be implanted into the cat's eyes, you will have to settle for creating a large "Whisker Alert System" for your cat - extend and sensitize the cat's whiskers by applying Duck Tape strips to their ends. Also, you can make a large Duck Tape Bumper in front of Helen’s head to prevent her from getting injured when she does run into stuff. --- The Duck Tape Guy


I am currently 15. In May I will be taking my driver's test. How will duct tape help me remember everything I learned in driver's ed and help me pass the test? --- Daniel Curfman

Sure! Create a "Knowlege Magnet" by Duck Taping your head sticky-side-out. This will help the information that your instructor throws at you to "stick" and soak into your head through a process similar to osmosis. During your driving test, duct tape your hands to the wheel at the 10 and 2:00 positions. Good luck! --- The Duck Tape Guy


Is there a way to learn the spanish language using duct tape? --- Jim Shady

Yes! Bring a case of Duck Tape to Mexico and trade it for private tutoring! They'll give you at least a month of room and board and private lessons for your kind gift of Duck Tape. --- The Duck Tape Guy


My ceiling fan fell down and ripped the wires and tore holes along where the wire was. So now I have a then strip of tore sheet rock all the way to the wall. I know how duct tape could fix the sheet rock but since duct tape has some metal in it I can't use it on the wires and allso it can't fix the fan itself. So how could WD40 fix the fan and the wiring? --- Rick

You are right that SOME duct tape has metal in it - but usually only the expensive kind used by HVAC workers. So, get some that contains no metal and use is to repair your fan. And remember, if you pull duct tape off the roll length-wise, you get three or four rolls of electrical tape-width tape on one roll of Duck Tape. --- The Duck Tape Guy


Why was duct tape called the 100 m.p.h. tape?? --- BandLPLUS3

The Army called(s) is that because it is used to hold stuff onto target drones that travel at speeds up to 100 mph. That’s one story - ask three others who were in the Army, you will probably get three more. --- The Duck Tape Guy


How do we remove the adhesive left on the carpet from the duct tape? --- Duane

Good question - in general - the adhesive can be removed with WD-40 or Goo-Be-Gone - unfortunately, the carpet presents a sticky situation - I've got a similar situation in our own house. Try WD-40 or Goo-Be-Gone followed by a foaming carpet shampoo cleaner (like Woolite). --- The Duck Tape Guy
Dear Duct tape guys,
I am a middle school student doing a science project on duct tape. I want to know why it glows in the dark when it's separated. Will it glow when it is separated from other materials? Where can I find out more info on this? --- Mimi

Mimi: I have never heard of Duct Tape glowing!? Do you perhaps live anywhere near a nuclear power plant that is leaking or something? My only thought is that there is some static electricity being generated when you separate the tape. I've heard of a wintergreen Lifesaver sparking in your mouth when you bite down on it in the dark. Why don't you try duct taping a Lifesaver and bite down on that - maybe you will create enough energy to power a flashlight during the next Y2K glitch. --- The Duck Tape Guy
Okay, I have to construct a DNA model of 18 inches in height w/ a different thing symbolizing the A, G, T, C, sugars, phosphates and hydrogen bonds. And it must hold the pattern (for the left side) GATTACACCA at least once...and twist twice. How can I do this w/ just one roll of duct tape? --- CARLA

Too easy! Just make little duct tape balls and hook them together with duct tape sticks made of rolled up duct tape in the proper length. Get the 30 yard roll - you’ll have tape left over. And, who knows? You may have just stumbled upon a stronger DNA model! --- The Duct Tape Guy


Me and my friend went into a grocery store a few days ago to buy some duct tape becuase my other friend was moving and we ran out of tape. We're both sixteen, and when we got up to the counter we couldn't buy it becuase they told us you had to be 18 to buy duct tape. Why is this?!?!?! --- Erika thomas

This is bogus - you can purchase Duct Tape whatever age you are - go call the Duct Tape Police on this atrocity of a store! --- The Duct Tape Guy


What do truckers call duct tape and why do they call it that ?

We hadn’t heard this one before - so, Don, You me. Here is Don’s answer:

"...We call duct tape 90 mph speed tape because it can be used to hold placards and many other things while letting us run run down the hwy at speeds of 90 or less and it will still be there when we get where we had to go." - Don Millsap II


Hello. According to the Bible the ONLY way to heaven is to believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is the son of God who died on the cross to forgive us of our sins and to ask Jesus into your heart. How can duct tape get me to heaven if I do not do what the Bible says? --- Terry Klee

This is one thing that Duct Tape cannot do. In fact, no product, money, good works... nothing can get you into heaven, except for the route that you have accurately reported in your e-mail. Hey, it ain't that hard - and it's a free gift! All you have to do is accept it. Go for it, dude! Then, once you have let Jesus secure your eternal destiny for you, you can go ahead and use Duct Tape to help improve your life here on earth. --- The Duct Tape Guy


Hi duck dude. As you know seatbelts are required by California law. Mine fell apart so I made new ones out of duct tape. A policeman noticed it and gave me a ticket. How can duct tape get my ticket excused so I don't pay the fine or have the violation on my record? --- Terry Klee

Take the dude to court and challenge him/her to a side-by-side comparison of YOUR duct tape seat belts against the original factory installed belts. If your car is old enough, it will become apparent that the duct tape belts are stronger than the aged fabric belts, and therefore, you are even safer than with a conventional belt. Just make sure your belt is composed of at least four layers of duct tape and it should be no contest! --- The Duct Tape Guy


Here's my problem. I'm a baseball player who has lost a little off his swing and can no longer hit the long ball like I used to. I have already tried using duct tape (On both the bat and the ball, neither help) And WD-40, that caused the bat to fly out of my hands and injure a fan in the third row. Help me get my swing back! --- Doubleplay Danielson

Spray down your shoulders and elbows with WD-40 - that should loosen up your swing. --- The Duct Tape Guy


I need to get new spark plug wires, distrubture cap and plugs, is there any way that I cal fix it with duct tape to get home and beyond? --- Ryan, stranded in Mulvane

Absolutely! Take all the sparkplug wires and distributor cap out of your car. Clean them well using gasoline (or some other grease and grime cutting solvent). Let them dry thoroughly. Now cover them all with at least three layers of duct tape. This should take care of the arching that you may now be experiencing - and also waterproof them nicely. Happy motoring! --- The Duct Tape Guy


Hi Duck Dudes: Here's my problem. My 1-1/2 year old son has a MRI every three months at Stanford University, Palo Alto, California to monitor tumors in is kidneys and I need your help so here goes. I have a 1975 Mercury Marquee,(big car), and we live three hours from Stanford. I have no family or friends to barrow from or be given a ride by. My water pump took a dump. BUMMER DUDE!!! I do not have the money to fix my car so how can duct tape help my car get us to Stanford without stopping every 5 gallons of water. Needless to say I don't have the money for a bus, train, or any other public transportation. But I have a GREAT Supply of Duct Tape. Please help. --- Terry Klee

Sorry about your son's condition - duct tape probably can't help there - but it CAN help your vehicle's water pump problem. Just get a cardboard refridgerator box and line it inside and out with duct tape. Now tape it securely onto the roof of your car. Fill it with water before each trip - according to my figuring it should hold about 250 to 400 gallons of water. Connect this reservoir with a hose to your water pump - the gravity feed will keep the water flowing for the entire trip. And, you just may get a police escort if you play your cards right. --- The Duct Tape Guy


I have news for you. I am a freshman in college and as a poor college student. When my room began to stink, I had to find a way to get it smelling better fast. So I thought I would get creative and duct tape a spring scented dryer sheet to my fan. To my surprise, DUCT TAPE DOES NOT STICK TO "BOUNCE OUTDOOR FRESH DRYER SHEETS"! --- Cory Cisler

All you have to do is make a duct tape ring on the face of the fan and stick the dryer sheet through it. Either that, or clean your room! --- The Duct Tape Guy

I have never had a job that's not in a pizza place. Try as I might, and applying everywhere, I have not been able to get any other jobs. Apparently this is the only thing I have any talent at. I want a new job that's not pizza and not food. So how can duct tape help me get a new job? And yes, I have already tried the hardware/homecentre stores professing my extensive knowledge of theatre tech and the thousands of uses for duct tape. --- Kier

Raise your own support and become a missionary (like us) spreading the Gospel of Duct Tape. --- The Duct Tape Guy

Everyone teases me at school for having a strip of duct tape stuck to my purse.I also have another purse and two pens covered entirely in duct tape. When people see them, they stare at me. They don't appreciate duct tape! I also have the duct tape calendar. How can I use duct tape to keep them from teasing duct tape? --- A Pinta

Share your love of duct tape buy sharing your duct tape. Perhaps these staring folks are just envying your duct tape and coveting it for themselves. When you see someone staring, pull out your roll and rip off a foot or two and hand it to them saying, "May the tape be with you!" Soon you will have won many converts to Ducttapeology and gained new friends at the same time. It works for us! --- The Duct Tape Guy(s)

My dog died two weeks ago. Ever since she died, her spirit has been roaming around my house. It's a bit disturbing. I love her and wish that she could just move on to the other side. I've tried seances and talking to her and everything like that, but it seems that she cant hear me or see me at all. How canduct tape help her. And dont try any crazy stuff like trapping her in a duct tape net or something like that...she's not a physical being, nothing can touch her. --- Beth Wetzel

Just make a Duct Tape Dream Catcher (modeled after those Native American Dream Catchers). They work much better when made out of duct tape sticky-side-out. This "ultra-sticky" dream catcher works on disembodied spirits, too! Then, when caught, fling the thing up into the air like a Frisbee and the dog’s spirit will flick loose towards the heavens where it will be a bit dizzy, but it will rest in eternal peace.--- The Duct Tape Guy


Mr. Duct Tape Guy: I have two dogs. Molly and Jack. They are both pretty normal, but sometimes Molly gets excited and humps Jack. What do I do? This often happens when people come to visit. How can I stop her with WD40 and/or duct tape? --- Awndrea@...

Re: Molly and Jack - Unless you want puppies, let Molly have her way with Jack. If you want puppies, duct tape Jack on the top. To avoid any chance of puppies - nothing says keep out like a couple well-placed strips of duct tape. --- Tim, the Duct Tape Guy


Dear Duct Tape Guy: One of my co-workers asked me a question -- since I'm supposed to know
everything. "Is duct tape flammable?" Please help me keep up my image! --- Dan Barker, Madison, Wisconsin

All duct tape will burn - some that is labeled "Duct" is REQUIRED to meet certain heat resistance standards. But since it is made out of plastic and fiber and rubber-based adhesive, yes, it will burn. --- The Duct Tape Guy


Ok, smarty pants to the second power, solve this little question, WITHOUT ANY OF THAT DUMB IMPOSSIBLE STUFF! Try this for starters (email me if you can not solve): I got lost in some odd place. All the land knowledge I have is that there is an Air Force Base 35 miles north. This area is wierd because the moss on the trees wraps all the way around. Your only supplies is; a butane lighter/100% filled, a roll of Duct tape, a shaving mirror, a sewing needle,a refrigerator magnet, a cork, and a cup and iodine tablets. The leaves are so wet from last night's rain, they will not ignite. Neither will any other natarual recource. You do not know whether the sun sets in the east or west. WHAT DO YOU DO, USE, EAT, AND NOT USE? -- The Challenger, Alex Brown

Make a compass out of the stuff (being a Scout, you will know how). And then head north to the airforce base while eating anything in the refrigerator that is attached to the refrigerator magnet. Duh! Or, just wait until some of those Airforce planes fly over and walk towards where they are landing. Double Duh! It doesn't take an Eagle Scout to figure that one out. Thanks for trying to stump me, though. --- The Duct Tape Guy


A girl at a party requested a wacky outfit. I suggested to her to wrap her body in duct tape from the top of her breasts downwards but not her legs like a swimsuit. Then add a duct tape skirt. After the party the duct tape had permernately stuck to her body. We had a horrible job of getting her out. She screamed a lot, Duct tape fixed that. After that she refused to speak to me for weeks. Could more duct tape or WD40 have reduced the pain? WD40 didn't quite work the first time. --- Mastor Lui

WD-40 does relieve arthritis pain... so maybe it would have worked . What you missed doing was to spray her down with WD-40 BEFORE applying the Duct Tape... Live and Learn... --- The Duct Tape Guy


Hello! I have a problem...I have THE worst gas you could ever imagine. I keep burning holes in my pants...it is so terrible. I need to get rid of it and FAST. Now i know you could say that I could just tape over my butt, but I have really sensitive skin that rashes easily. So that is out of the question. Hope you can help. --- Beth

You are brave to admit this embarrassing problem (especially being a member of the female gender who usually never admit to ever having gas - until they are comfortably married - then it's too late...). You can patch your pants with duct tape, as for the smell - just pass out strips of tape to your loved ones and everyone that you come into contact with on a daily basis. --- The Duct Tape Guy.


I have actually found one substance that duct tape does not stick to: the dash board of a Ford Taurus. This may also be true for other cars with the same dash. I don't understand why it doesn't stick, it truly baffles me. --- Brad Schneider

If your Ford Taurus dashboard was ever cleaned with Armor-All (or something like it) it leaves a wax film that duct tape will not stick to. Clean your dash board with paint thinner first - let dry, then tape away! --- The Duct Tape Guys


I was forced yesterday to listen to the most irritating and evil "music" on the face of the planet; the Spice Girls. By some hideous form of cruel humor from whatever gods that may exist, I now have the song "Wannabe" stuck in my head. I have tried everything to get rid of this horrible torturous noise playing in my head, and nothing works. Can you help me? --- From "QTPI" Stefanie

Get yourself a roll of duct tape and hold it next to your ear. Give it a good RIP - pulling about one foot of tape off the roll. Repeat this action as many times as you can for fifteen minutes. Your head should be clear of the song in no time. Next time, a little prevention may be in order - fashion duct tape ear plugs (sticky-side-out works best) and duct tape strips over the ears will prevent the horrible noise from entering your ear canal to begin with --- The Duct Tape Guy.


My favorite teddy bear accidentally got thrown away into the trash, (and I found it before the garbage got taken out), but, unfortunately, it now has an awful spaghetti stain on it that I cannot wash out, how do I get the stain out without ripping all of the fur off of the teddy bear?--- Stefanie

WD-40 is a great stain releaser. Spray the stain once with WD-40 and wash it - the stain will be gone. Then wash it again to remove the WD-40 stain. This usually works fine. If not, fashion a duct tape vest (or pants depending on where the stain is) which will cover the stain in a trendy duct tape apparel. Even though I don't admit that you me, send me your mailing address and I will send you enough duct tape for teddy bear formal wear. --- The Duct Tape Guy


We have a pool in our backyard and we got a couple of those foam noodles for it. My problem is, they keep breaking and when I try to fix them with duct tape, it just doesn't work very well. It comes unraveled and doesn't flex as easily. What can I do?? --- Christy

Never buy another commercially manufactured foam noodle again! You can make your own out of BubbleWrap wrapped into a long tube and secured with one strip of duct tape up the seam. --- The Duct Tape Guy


How can duct tape help me prove that the universe is expanding? --- Kirsten Hainstock

Duct tape will not stretch (much) so put a six inch strip of duct tape on the street outside your house. Then, measure exactly six inches on the pavement beside the strip and mark the six inch mark by driving a nail into the pavement. In a couple of years, check the tape. If it is shorter than the six inch measure marks, there is your proof positive that the universe is expanding. --- The Duct Tape Guy


Recently Shushaldin Volcano erupted here in Alaska. Some of my collegues need to do some research at the volcano which requires them to fly a helicoptor to the island and take samples of rock to be studied. I know they are professionals and will be carefull, but volcanoes are so dangerous and it could erupt again at any moment! I know you recently had another volcano question, but can duct tape help them do their work and return safely? --- Grizz99

Make sure they are each covered with at least ten layers of duct tape to protect them from the heat and any stray lava splashes. -- The Duct Tape Guy


I am into hiking and I use alot of gore-tex, which is a kind of water proof material. And any ways I ways walking through the woods and suddenly my jacket was ripped by a sticker bush. I always bring duct tape with me just in case. Good thing I did or should I say bad thing I did. I put the tape on the hole and it worked ok for a while. When I got home I sewed the jacket back up. The next time I went to work I had on the jacket because it was raining. When I got inside and took off my jacket, I had a huge wet spot on my very nice shirt. It was in the exact spot where I put the duct tape. What do you think happened?---Cris Reed

Duct tape repeals water. So any moisture that happened to hit the duct tape patch collected there and moistened your shirt. --- The Duct Tape Guy


Okay, my house is on fire, and Imake it out, but my baby is inside. By this time all the entrances and windows are sorrounded by fire. And there are no neighbors home, so I cant call the fire fighters. So, how can I use duct tape to save my baby? --- *KiM*

If this is not a hypothetical problem, I'd not waste your time typing e-mail to some Duct Tape Bozo! If this is a hypothetical problem, I'd take this opportunity to get some yellow or red duct tape and mark a fire evacuation route on the walls of your house so you are prepared if and when a fire does happen. --- The Duct Tape Guy


If you are lost in the Sahara Desert with only your shoelaces, and a trusty roll of duct tape, how can you survive off the duct tape for seven months? --- Sincerely, Starving in the Sahara

Why seven months? Will you be rescued in seven months? How do you know this? Why only shoe laces? What happened to your shoes and the rest of your clothing? Why only one roll of duct tape? What kind of fool are you and how did you get into this ridiculous situation? --- The Duct Tape Guy


I love to drag race my 65' mustang, but I can never seem to get into the 11 second range, so how can WD-40 and Duct tape make me go faster than anyone could ever imagine? I think I need more traction, but the WD-40 made me slide all over the track. ---fellow duct taper, mstngby65

You want to streamline your vehicle by covering it entirely in duct tape and spraying the car down with WD-40. This will cut friction, thereby giving you better speed, and better mileage. --- The Duct Tape Guy


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