She's wacky.
She's twisted.
She's dingy.
She has a zillion helpful* hints for happy homemakers

*actual degree of helpfulness
subject to change without notice.

Click here to read some of my hints.

June America is a proud resident (and PTA President) of
Pass the Football! Packer Fan Cheese-Packed Footballs!

This snack starts with potatoes which you have microwaved with the skins-on for about three minutes per potato. Scoop out a little of the potato guts through a little slit on the top of the potato (careful, filling will be hot - unless you got distracted from this project to get mustard off the ceiling in which case you will probably want to stick them in the microwave for another 20 seconds each). Now, fill that hole that you made with cubes of Velveeta (or your favorite processed cheese). I use processed cheese because it melts more quickly and tends to solidify into a nice mass when it cools. Close up the slit to conceal the cheese glob inside. Now, take your mustard squirt bottle and make little mustard "laces" across the slit - you know, the kind of lacing that footballs have. There you have it! Mini Cheese Footballs. Serve hot, or cold. If you serve these cold, you can slice them into 1/2" potato/cheese wheels - but this will kind of destroy the mustard lacing effect that you worked so hard on. To get those green and gold Packer colors, I add chopped up green olives (without the pimentos) to the cheese goo.

Mini Cheese Heads

Another Fitting to those diehard Green Bay Packer Fans who are finally getting some long-due pay-back for their devotion to the Pack.
1) Take a Ken doll (GI Joe will work also - but remove his helmet first), remove head.
2) Cup playing cards and make a little head dress to fit around the doll head so it fits from ear to ear and his head is divided in half - face on one side and back of head on the other side.
3a) Put a bead of glue around the playing card to secure it to the head.
3b) Cut the playing card to it fits snuggly into a dixie cup.
4) Mix up a dixie cup portion of plaster of Paris.
5) Stick the head with the card around it into the dixie cup.
6) Pour plaster into cup around head.
7) Allow to harden. (this is a good time to keep cleaning that mustard stain off the ceiling)
8) Remove hardened plaster and separate the two halves.
9) Pick out Ken's head (and the attached playing card head dress)
10) Use the two halves of the mold to make mini cheeseheads. Spray the halves with PAM quick-release spray and put a blob of cheese (again, a big blob of processed cheese works best) into one of the halves.
11) Now, just schmush down the other half on top of the cheese - when you pull the halves apart - you can gently pick out the mini cheesehead.

Serve these delightful little cheeseheads perched on a "body" of summer sausage, at the end of a brat, or alone on a plate with a toothpick stuck in their skulls. If you really have a lot of time and money on your hands, rip the heads off of a dozen Ken dolls, dress them in miniature Packer uniforms, put the little cheese heads on top and serve them that way.- Go Pack!

Bobbing for Bratwurst (Great halftime fun!)

This is what I told you to get the bathtub filled with beer for (Get ready for some fun!).
Your significant other has filled the bathtub with beer while you have been preparing bratwurst according to my directions below (or else he drank most of it and is passed out on the bathroom floor - in which case, roll him aside and finish the job yourself).
1) Fill a deep kettle with a six-pack of cheap bottled (or canned) beer.
2) Drop in 24 to 48 brats (not precooked - cold, raw, mushy, slimey suckers)
3) Bring to a boil for about five minutes.
4) Take out a test brat and break it in half. Eat half, check the other half for any pink meat that might indicate you didn't cook it long enough. If you see any pink, put the half back into the boiling beer and check it again in a few minutes (and you might want to expel that half that you just ate).
5) Dump off the grease from the top of the boiling beer (unless it's already dumped itself off while boiling - in which case you can clean up your stove top later).
6) Float the rest of the mixture including the brats in the beer-filled bathtub.

That's all there is to it! Now, when halftime rolls around and The Pack is up by 20 points, send your guests to the bathroom to Bob for Bratwurst! Enjoy the game!

Those are the hints for this time.
Click here to read some of my past hints.
Bookmark this page and visit us every so often for a new hint.

Want to share your homemaking tricks?

E-mail me your wackiest household hint. I'll post it on this page, and who knows, you just might make it into my next book, "Processed Cheese and You."

That’s all for now.
Have a good, good day!
Love, June.

Here are some of my past hints and hints from my readers:

House Clean-up in a Hurry

Company's coming on short notice, the house is a wreck - what to do?
Hide dirty dishes inside oven
Keep big cardboard boxes handy to scoop off clutter on coffee tables, dressers, counter-tops - and shove the filled boxes under the beds. It helps to have dust-ruffles on the beds, you can hide more stuff.
Turn off interior lights and light some candles (disguises house dust).
If you don't have time for all this, just hang a "QUARANTINE" sign on the front door.

Nothing clean to wear?
Dig out something from the clothes hamper and toss it in the dryer for 10 minutes with a sock full of potpouri. The wrinkles will fall out, and it'll smell good as new.

Cover cookie sheet with aluminum foil before using and you won't have to wash it later.

- Thanks to Carolyn Camp

Huevos Lobsteros.

Here's one that Millard came up with the other night when I told him it was his turn to cook dinner. He asked me what he should make and I told him, "Anything you want as long as you cleam up the mess!" So he developed this clever little one kettle meal.

1) Fill a large sauce pan with water and bring to a boil.
2) Drop in one stick of butter (yes, it will melt and float on the top).
3) Add six to twelve of shakes hot sauce.
4) Drop in four to six eggs (depending on how hungry you are) minus the shells.
5) Immediately (before eggs begin to poach), drop in one LIVE Maine Lobster.
6) When Lobster turns red, drain water and serve.

Darned if that Lobster will didn't do a great job of scrambling those eggs!
This dish can be served for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Note: Remove lobster meat from shell before eating.

Thanks to Dr. R. E. Markin

Dusting under the bed.

You know that the underside of your bed is a haven for the terribly explosive populations of dust mites and dust bunnies. And, you know how devilishly hard it is to clean under your bed (especially if you have a king size bed like Millard and me. Well, not anymore! Thanks to Endust® and our wire-haired terrier, this job can be done in no time.

1) Spray-coat your small dog with Endust® or a similar dusting product.
2) Roll your dog's favorite ball or toy under the bed.
3) Tell him/her to "FETCH!"
4) Repeat.
5) In about ten throws, your dust bunny and mite population will be totally removed from under the bed and stuck to your small dog.
6) Now, just rinse off, or shake out your dog.
7) Finally, you can both settle down for a nap in celebration of a job well-done.


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