Think you have an object or situation that can't be fixed with duct tape?
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Just read through our book (or some of the stumps sent into us below), and you will be a convert!
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My vintage 1976 self-winding watch no longer self-winds. How can duct tape fix my watch so that once again it will tell me the correct time more than twice a day?
We're thinking that a good smack to the watch would free the mechanism that makes it self-wind. In order to avoid damage to the crystal during the smacking operation, wrap your watch body in four to five layers of duct tape. Hold the watch by the band, and smack the watch on the face of a duct tape roll. If your watch doesn't work after this delicate procedure, rewrap the watch in duct tape and tape a little triangle on its edge on the top of the watch face creating a wrist sundial that will never need winding - just a sunny day. DTG
I'm a college guy who just can’t seem to get a girl. Some of them call me ugly! How can duct tape help me look better and get a girl to go out with me?
Duct tape over your entire face and attend classes as "that mysterious duct tape mask guy." The intrigue will drive all of the girls absolutely nuts. You’ll be able to get your pick of the pack. Keep your duct tape mask on through at least your first four or five dates. The girl will come to love you for the person you are inside, and not the way you look. DTG
How can we use duct tape to get chewing gum out of my sister's hair without ripping her hair out?
Actually, we recommend WD-40 for getting gum out of hair. To avoid getting the gum into the hair next time, cover your sister's hair with duct tape. When you remove the tape your sister won't have any hair to worry about. Note: Your hearing will also be gone - due to the excessive screaming that duct tape stuck in hair creates. DTG
I drove my car into a telephone pole, and my license plate became embedded into the pole, how can duct tape get my license plate out of the pole, and keep people from noticing the dent in the pole?
Duct tape the exposed edges of the license plate to your front bumper and put the car in reverse. The license should pop out of the pole. Now, fill the dent in the pole with duct tape wads and tape around the damaged section of the pole. Duct tape is not a foreign element to most utility companies, so the repair should look quite natural DTG
My sister recently gave me her old lava lamp. I plugged it in and waited four hours for it to warm up. I noticed that the lava stuff was making a bunch of small bubbles instead of the giant lava. How could duct tape solve my problem?
If you leave the lamp alone for a while and then plug it in, the globs should be meld together. Replace the light bulb with a new one of recommended wattage (usually 40 watts); it should heat up more quickly. Where does duct tape come into play? Duct tape yourself to a chair in the opposite corner of the room so you aren't tempted to monkey around with the lamp until it has time to acclimate to its new surroundings. DTG
My 17-month old son is teething. How can duct tape help with the pain, but continue to let the teeth come in?
Make a big wallet-sized wad of duct tape for your kid to chew on. The teeth will be cut through in no time. DTG
How can duct tape be used to trick the breathalyzer when I get pulled over drinking and driving?
We enjoy a good beer as much as the next guy, but drinking and driving? Even we aren't that stupid! We suggest that the police that pull you over utilize duct tape to bind and gag you while they're throwing you into Detox. Then, when you sober up, they can duct tape you to the grieving parents of a teenager who has been killed by a drunk driver. This might help you think more responsibly. DTG
I play guitar and when I strum my pick always hits the guitar and has worn a hole in the wood. How can duct tape repair this situation and not muffle the sound?
The sound shouldn’t be muffled any more than if there was wood there. While you’re at it, cover the whole in tape and it will look like one of those steel guitars. DTG
I'm worried that the government’s proposed missile defense system is not going to be effective protection in the event of a nuclear exchange. How can we use duct tape to protect us from a nuclear assault?
Unfortunately, only roaches will survive a nuclear exchange. Therefore, we suggest that you wrap yourself entirely in duct tape, sticky-side out, and stick cockroaches all over yourself. No, you won't be very popular at work or school, but there’s a better chance you’ll survive a nuclear attack! DTG
How can I travel back in time using duct tape?
We fail to see the desire to go back in time much past the 1940s when duct tape was invented. Even if you could time travel with duct tape, the tape would disappear prior to 1942 and there you’d be stuck without duct tape. Travel back in time by reading history books. Use duct tape as a bookmark when you start getting drowsy. DTG
How will duct tape keep rabbits and other pests out of my garden?
Duct tape laid sticky-side-up around the perimeter of your garden will keep most varmints out while reflecting sun up onto the underside of your plantings. DTG
How can I use Duct Tape to remove ammonia from my pond water?
The ammonia is probably coming from the fish peeing in the water. Duct tape the fish so they don't leak and the ammonia will disappear. Or, better yet, save your money on fish food and other pond cleaning supplies grab a few rolls of colored duct tape and fashion your own exotic fish like the one pictured on the left. DTG
I'm trying to learn how to stop a Slinky in mid-slink, but it's proving hard to do. How can duct tape fix my problem without mutating the Slinky?
Let us guess; you’re getting a government grant for this research, right? Put duct tape, sticky-side up on two steps. Start the Slinky down the stairs. It will freeze when it's two ends are stuck on the two duct taped steps. DTG
I enjoy listening to my old records from the 60's and 70's. Most of my older ones are scratched up, the grooves are worn down, and don't sound as good as they used to. Using only duct tape, how can I repair my old records, making them sound good as new?
Stuff duct tape balls in your ear canals and put a strip of duct tape over each ear. The muffled sound will hide all of the pops and scratches in your vinyl discs. DTG
How can duct tape stop my husband’s snoring?
Make a duct tape ball and tape it on his back prior to bedtime. The ball will make him roll to one side, reducing his tendency to snore. Or, you could put duct tape your ears as described in the previous hint. DTG
How can duct tape be used to sharpen an ax?
Duct tape the ax, at the right angle, to the rear bumper of your car or truck. Drive around the block. When you get back home you’ll have a sharp ax! DTG
Can you think of at least twenty things to do with duct tape, a chicken and a garden hose?
How can Duct Tape cure poison ivy?
If you duct tape your hands together behind your back until the rash clears up, you won't be tempted to scratch the welts, which will control the spreading and speed the healing process. Preventing poison ivy rash is where duct tape works best. Before you go hiking, duct tape all exposed flesh. When you return home, shower until all of the poison ivy juices have been rinsed off the tape. Remove and discard the tape. You will be rash-free (unless you’re allergic to duct tape glue). DTG
I don't have very good eyesight and it’s hard for me to read the small type on my computer monitor. Can duct tape help this situation?
Most computers have a way to enlarge the font size. Or, you could purchase of those big magnifying sheets that people put in the rear window of their motor homes and tape it over your monitor. Better yet, use duct tape to repair everything you might be tempted to pay a high-priced professional to fix. Take all the money that you have saved and use it to purchase a larger monitor. DTG
Suppose I’m an astronaut alone in a space station. Suddenly, a meteorite knocks a hole in the wall and everything starts sucking out into space. I’m able to grab a roll of duct tape floating by. How could the duct tape save me?
It depends on how extensive the damage is to the space station. If the tape on the roll will contain the damage, tape quickly and you're set. If not, at least you’ll die happy with that roll of duct tape in your hands. DTG
If I were rock climbing and fell, assuming I had a roll of duct tape handy, how could I use the duct tape to save myself before plummeting to my death?
When falling, quickly remove your shirt and fasten a long strip of duct tape folded over onto itself to each of four corners of your shirt. Use this shirt as a parachute to float yourself safely to the ground. DTG
I have been trying to learn how to play guitar for quite some time now, and I just can't seem to get it. How can duct tape speed up my progress?
Tune the guitar to an “open chord”. Wrap duct tape around the index and middle fingers of your left hand and use them as a slide. Presto! You're playing guitar! DTG
I play tuba in my school band, and our tubas are REALLY dented and ugly. Since our budget doesn’t allow for new tubas, how can duct tape help us not look stupid when our marching band plays at our upcoming football games?
First, fill the dents with little wads of duct tape and then tape the entire instrument with white duct tape it will look like one of those fancy white, fiberglass tubas. Or, send school spirit soaring by taping over each tuba in one of your school colors. DTG
Hey tape guys what makes the sticky stuff sticky (on a molecular level)? Is there any thing it won't stick to and if so why (again, on a molecular level)?
Haven’t you heard that you aren’t supposed to sweat the small stuff? All you have to know is that it sticks. Why ask why? As for what it won’t stick to; duct tape doesn’t stick on wet stuff. So, if you are going to make yourself a duct tape swimsuit, make sure you aren’t all sweaty from thinking about small stuff, or you’ll find yourself doing some inadvertent skinny-dipping. DTG
I live in an old house. How can duct tape help me conserve energy this winter?
Most likely, your windows aren’t as tight as they used to be. Tape around the wooden sashes to prevent leaks. Duct tape clear plastic sheeting over the outside of each window further prevents drafts. You may also feel cold sneaking in through electrical outlets on exterior walls. A small strip of tape over each unused outlet will seal these leaks as well. (Make sure your duct tape doesn’t have any metal in it most duct tape doesn’t.) DTG
How can duct tape be used to take the faces off of Mount Rushmore and restore it to its natural mountain face?
Perhaps you didn’t know it, but those faces were actually inside the face of the mountain all along and were revealed only after painstakingly removing the zillion tons of rock that were obscuring them. And, what a remarkable coincidence that they resembled four of our Presidents! I guess if you wanted to cover them back up, you could just duct tape the removed rocks back into place. DTG