Since this book is no longer in print, we are no longer taking letter submissions.
But, we will leave these here for you to read.
Hmmmmm...you complain of people turning beanie babies into an investment tool whilst you too are turning them into an investment tool, in a non-direct way. --- Cecelia Lerat

You bet I am! And I'd bet the books do better for me than Bean Bags ever would! Thanks for noticing me. --- Dr. B. Neebascher

Well......Beanie babies are a popular investment tool and people pay MONEY for these "Bean bags"....! Need I say more? --- Cecelia Lerat

Sure, I'm not arguing that TY is getting way rich off of this scam... Problem is, (seriously for a moment) a lot of people who can't afford this habit are investing hundreds and thousands of dollars in the hopes that they will get rich from the secondary market - it just ain't gonna happen. That's the sad thing. I do believe that it is paramount to gambling. We saw the same phenomenon (scam) with Baseball cards... now Pokemon... We are parodying something that we consider to be WAY to precious and (you must admit) ridiculous.
I'm not gonna continue arguing about this with you - it's a humor book - they are plush-covered bean bags animals - lighten up. --- Dr. B. Neebascher

I have two kids who LOVE Beanie Babies. Can we always find the styles they're searching for? No, of course not. They have had to learn patience and perseverance. In time we have found the majority of what they want. What else could they search for and collect for $5-$7 each? Please don't answer that question, I can only guess what your ideas would be. I guess more importantly, they collect Beanie Babies because it's their choice. It's exciting for them when they get a Beanie they've been hoping for.
Keep on writing. The more free advertising Ty gets the longer Beanies will be in the spotlight. Yeah!!!!!!!! signed. Somewhere in the Midwest

Read my comment below - it pertains to your letter as well.

I have to tell you something about beanie babies and kids. Some kids like to go on the internet and those kids like beanie babies. And what if a child went onto this so called "cool" website? They might just go into their room and kill themselves!!! And we like to keep our children alive. So, if you like children and you don't like beanie babies, maybe you should kill
YOURSELF!!!! And if you've already thought of that and think it's not a good idea, maybe you should kill yourself anyway!!! And by the way, my dog doesn't like you!! Signed, Cailtlin A. McNally Age 8

I love Beanies too. They are cute little cuddly stuffed animals. What I hate is that adults have turned them into an investment tool. They hoard them and kids can't purchase them because of their artifically inflated prices. Doesn't that make you mad? Don't go killing yourself over a stuffed animal, or a humor book, or a humor website. There is SO much more to life than any of that. - Dr. B. Neebascher (By the way, if you do like Beanies, cut that tag off. Someone is going to poke an eye out cuddling a stuffed animal with a nylon pin sticking out of its head) By the way, my dog LOVES you!

All I can say is you must be extemely bored with life to even bother with the subject. But no that can't be correct - you are just like the rest - making money off of beanie babies - good thing they came along so you could author a book to increase you net worth and it gives you something to do - to keep your life from being so mundane!
Keep up the good work - bring more attention to the beanie baby phenomenon - make TY some more
money and yourself as well! --- dgsport@...

You mean I could actually make money at this? Heck, I thought I was doing it as a humanitarian gesture! - “Dr.” B.

You MEAN BEANIE! My daughter and I have just discovered your web-site courtesy of KTRS radio, St. Louis. You disguised your voice you yellow
bellied chicken (good idea for the next generation of Beanies). How about a new one..Dr. BEEE NEEEBASHER, a cute little stuffed human with
his own attached stuffed grandmother smashing his head with a black skillet. We have numerous beanies adorning the house, each has a name, a place to set at dinner, and their own set of matching towels and tooth brushes in the bath room...86 of them. One nice thing, they don't use much water, and the males always close the lid. --- Hamptons
Thanks for your hate mail.
I'm so glad to hear that you are actually enjoying your Beanies as the cute little stuffed toys they are rather than hoarding them as an investment vehicle. - “Dr.” B. Neebascher

How could you make fun of something that brings my grandchildren such joy. You are a mean person. You have no right to make fun of Beanies. Get a life! --- Hazel P.

Your ideas on how to retire your own Beanies only de-value Beanie Babies. Even if their tag is removed, they do not hold their value. Why would you want to put them through a wood chipper? You’re sick.
--- annonymous

You make fun of Beanie Babies, but I just sold one of mine for $500! Stick that up your nose Mr. Smartee Pants! --- Fern Ogren, Cincinnati, Ohio
As P.T. Barnum said, there is a sucker born every minute. And, Murphy sez that it is morally wrong to let a fool keep his money. Good luck with future sales. --- “Dr.” N.

Your book is really stuped (sic)! I love my Beanie Babies! I have over 50 and five are retired. They are worth over $150 each! Your book is stuped (sic)!
--- Emily

People will NOT buy your stupid book! Beanies are so adorable. Everyone loves them!
Gee, I wonder why the book is in it’s second printing already? People must be buying them and burning them or something. --- “Dr.” N.

Like it or not, you are making fun of something that actually is a valuable collectable. The price guides will prove it to you.
According to my figuring, based on the same inflation rate, my book will be worth well over $1000 when we quit printing it. So you better buy up a hundred or so for your own retirement. --- “Dr.” N.

I have a feeling that this is a conspiracy and that your book and web site are just a marketing ploy to inspire more talk about Beanie Babies, causing more people to buy them. I'm right, aren't I? --- Sam Friedman, Lex. KY
Wrong! I don’t know whether to post your letter in fan mail or hate mail... But since hate mail is running behind... Again, read our disclaimer. We are not in any way endorsed by, owned by, or funded by Ty, Inc. --- “Dr.” N.

Good luck with your "book" you'll need it.... Because a year or two from now we will still be here and you will be selling your book to "discount" chains which will be revised to claim the crash will be 1999. or 2000, or 2001, Etc... --- Beanie Baby World, Webmeister
Thanks - we’ll see - in the mean time - we can all have some fun. Seriously, Beanie collectors have LOVED the book. It's quite tongue-in-cheek and charmingly odd - just like Beanies. ---“Dr.” N.

WHAT... That’s all the HATE MAIL? Come on!
I fully expected the hate mail to equal the FAN MAIL... Well, I guess I can’t always be right. ---“Dr.” N.

Return to the Main Page.
Or, Check out DuctTapeGuys.com for more laughs!

Hey Dr. B! Why do people get so angry about a HUMOR site?! It's supposed to be FUNNY! I think your site rocks! Good luck with your book... You rock!!! By the way, the name below is NOT my real name! (Not that anyone really
cares at all!) --- The psychotic beanie smelter, Yrrah Rettop >:^)

Thanks Harry Potter... oops! Yrrah Rettop (sorry) --- Dr. Neebascher

My brother and I went out west this summer. He brought two of his Beanies with him. These Beanies, which he got by accident, opened a wide possibility of torturing to them. In Wyoming we bought a brick of firecrackers. The first victim was a Beanie named Antsy. After about 50
firecrackers we turned him into a hot plastic ball. We took the leftover hide to our uncle, who has the same feelings about Beanies as us. The other Beanie, a chameleon named Iggy the Iguana, we tortured by an old abandoned
mill. My cousin was there and he helped light this beanie up. We came back to MN shortly after that but I have Kissy the frog for next year. --- Laury and her brother...Age 12 and 10

See? Beanies CAN be fun! Just watch out when you are burning them - we still do not know what those little white pellety things are - possibly hazardous waste! --- "Dr." B.

I'd like to get in on this. My wife has jumped into this craze with both feet and it controls everything she does. Try taking a nice vacation to go to the beach, ride motorcycles and see the sights, when all she wants to do is stop at this beanie store or that beanie place. "That place might have beanies" is all I heard for two weeks. I wanted to beat her with those stupid little stuffed animals. These people would collect lint balls if some genius marketing person would name them and call them collectible. The money spent on these things can break people five dollars at a time. My wife has told me that some beanies are auctioned on the internet as "not guaranteed authentic" and the moron still pay big bucks for them anyway. I could go on for days, but I won't. Good luck with your book. --- jlcea@...

I feel your pain. Better purchase a copy of the book for your wife for Christmas - drop her a hint. --- “Dr.” N.

Dr. B. -
Thank god I'm not the only sane person on the face of the earth... I think Beanies illustrate just how unoriginal most of the world is most of the time. Even my college friends are collecting these wastes of valuable cotton... Sometimes I think I'm the only woman on earth who doesn't fall all over herself when she sees something cute and fuzzy. May all those psychotic beanie hoarders (i.e. Madam-with-the-86-beanie-toiletry-sets) learn to spell and spend their money on something better than towels for stuffed bears to wipe themselves with... like buying your book. Or even better, paying my tuition. - Anti-Beanie Girl

I have a friend who has gone into credit-card debt to buy this junk. Her husband is just as bad, he'll call her from work & tell her to rush to hallmark for the newest beanie babies. She'll stand outside for hours, it's not normal. Ty is probally sitting back counting his millions, laughing at supposely grown adults making fools of themselves. --- Jena

Every Beanie you (they) buy helps Ty make the mortgage payments on his $250 million hotel... Why not buy an Official Beanie Basher Handbook - that will help me make a downpayment on a cheeseburger at McDonalds!

Way to go , baby!
My sister, the (web)famous funkymommy started her site just because she was upset not only that a sought-after TOY was almost impossible for children to buy - but that adult folks were greedily ripping each other off (NOT good Karma-inducing behavior).

She has used beanie mania to help five charities (and counting!) through Project Beanie. There are lots of GOOD folks out here collecting who are more interested in helping EACH OTHER than in lining their pockets. ---Debra Daube

Thanks for the reference to Project Beanie - let’s put these little guys to good use!

I am from Britain and have in my possession 3 treasured beanies - Princess, Peace and Brittania bears. I have been thinking of auctioning them and would like some advice on how to and approximately how much they would be worth. Thanks from a beanie fan. --- Brian Smith

Your Beanies would be best valued when given to and cuddled by a small child (but clip that tag off the ear first, so someone doesn't poke an eye out... Or, as landfill. --- "Dr." B. Neebascher

I hoped that you'd tell me if my Beanie Baby 'Swirly' the snail is worth anything to a collector? It was given to me as a gift from a friend early this year. I thought that perhaps if the line had been 'retired' or something my Beanie Baby might be worth something. should be grateful if you'd let me know. - Helen

OK, you folks are missing the point... I don’t put value on hunks of fuzzy cloth and plastic pellets. So, like I told Brian (above), your little snail "Swirly" is best valued when given to a small child to cuddle. If you insist on hording it as an adult - the best use is cramming it down your car's gas filler pipe to prevent fumes from escaping in the event you lose your gas cap. - Dr. B. Neebascher

Dr. Neebascher: I would love to know your true identity, because you sound like the man of my dreams. I've never heard such realistic, factual information in a long time! Beanie Baby collecting is a serious disease, and I have one thing to say to that: "Hi, my name is Anna and I'm a bean-a-holic" That's right, I too have been caught in the cross fire of this horrible sickness, good thing there's someone like you to help shed the light on a very bizarre situation. (after being hit on the head by an old woman at a Hallmark, beanie babies aren't as appealing) - Anna Bannana

Thank goodness that old woman at the Hallmark knocked some sense into you. There is still time to unite and save the world from the potentially catistrophic proliferation of Beanies! Beanie Bashers Unite! - Dr. B. Neebascher

You are awesome man! My math teacher liked your book. Beanies should be burnt smashed with baseball bats and hung. --- Alan Lilholt

I’m not awesome, merely the messenger. By the way, I not only dislike Beanies as an investment - tell your math teacher I hate math, too! --- Dr. B.

Its about time someone spoke up, How can people be so damn stupid!!!! This beanie babie craze has gone too far, Little children who want them, can’t get them because grown women have the credit cards to pay up to 1500.00 for a stupid stuffed animals!! Then there’s these retailers who say they’re "secondary markets" when a damn certifcate is hanging up on the wall behind them. I was just in a store where this 9 year old girl got all excited to see the new christmas bears and then the sales person said its $300.00. Ty Corp., says any retailer with a certificate has to sell these things for the suggested retail price, off the shelf, not in gift baskets or plastic boxes, but this retailer said Ty was aware of her selling them for outrages prices. Well needless to say the little girl quickly learned a valuable life lesson, Ty don’t give a crap about nine year old little girls, because if they did they wouldn’t of retired their 1998 xmas collection on December 3rd! Poor kid . Good luck on your site. It’s great!! --- CherriosO@...
That was the coolest book I have ever read! You guys rock. I have a theory about the beanie things. I think that God sent them down here and they are going to play a key role in Armageddon. All of the females will spend so much time and energy on them that they will die: either of exaustion or hunger because they have no money left. Without the child-bearers of the species, humans will not be able to reproduce and soon human life on earth will die off. Then God can start over (After reading your book I see why!) ---luke wendle

Very insightful! Yet another conspiracy theory! - “Dr.” B.

I found this dude’s site - he hates Beanie Babies as much as you do! http://members.aol.com/dans63/beanie/beanie.htm

You know, I don’t actually hate Beanies (much) - they are a cute little cuddly toy. But for heaven’s sake, cut that tag off! Someone is going to poke an eye out! I just hate that people pass them off an an investment vehicle.- “Dr.” B.

All I can say is “thank you!” You have made it easy to buy Christmas gifts this year. All of my friends collect Beanie Babies - I think they’re nuts! I’m going to give each of them a copy of your book. In fact, I just ordered them on line from your site (even got a discount). Thanks again! --- marykcos@...

No, thank YOU! Along with the books, why don’t you give them each a “dismembership” in the Beanie Basher Club! - “Dr.” B.

my daughters collect beanies - well i guess i should say i do because i buy them but i was on my way to work today and heard you on the radio and thought you were great - i never understood the big craze either but you know kids " my friends have beanies why can't i," oh the peer presure i have enough trouble just keeping up with my own cherished teddies i am running out of room in my house because of beanies i think they are coated with some additive material once you buy one you have to buy more it never ends. the only people that get the good bears are the ones who work at the stores that sell them and they hoard them and try to sell at outrages prices but have you noticed have much the princess di bear has come down in price i saw one for only 29.95 they are coming down in price loved hearing your bashing on the radio. --- john troxel

Time to get your daughers each a copy of The Beanie Basher Handbook - then each of their friends will have to have one, then each of their friends will have to have one... pretty soon, I'll get enough royalties to get my retirement savings back (my wife invested our entire retirement account investing in Beanie Baby Futures!). - “Dr.” B.

This guy has a tool for you! Check it out: The Rat Zapper at http://www.agrizap.com ---marina@...

Yes, an effective torture tool. Unfortunately, you, like many other misguided people, have mistaken Beanies for actual living creatures. They are merely PLUSH TOYS. Electrocuting them is an interesting thought, but it‘s highly improbable that they require it for ”retirement.“ --- Dr. B. Neebascher

Man, I hate beanie babies... I only bought one, and that was because it was in my happy meal. Man, it was ugly. But I say one good thing about it, it's indestrutible(sp?). This beanie baby has gone though beanie baby hell. It's been tossed, chewed (yes, I'm using as my dog's chew toy), ran over, rained on, flooded, and flown. I just keep on washing it and giving back to the dog. I'm going out and buying you book, so I can torture the beanie baby more. hehehe :) --- jtmax24@...

MyMatodon@aol.com sends his fan mail in the form of Beanie Bashing JPEGs. Check ’em out:

and, if you aren't disgusted with the first one
http://www.kardas.net/aaOE.jpeg (each features TY himself in rather odd situations.)

Are you good with a camera and/or Photoshop? Want to send us some of your own Beanie Bashing photographs? Go wild! We will provide links like the ones above to your creations! - “Dr.” B.

MyMatodon also forwarded this conspiracy theory to us:

In a message dated 1/11/98 06:45:14, a concerned Ty collectible buyer wrote me the following:

TY is now marketing Beanies and Attics with tracking devices implanted in them. This way TY can track our every move and even watch who we sell to and trade with. Look closely in the eyes of you next Attic or Beanie and see if it doesn't look back at you!!

OK, who's the bozo who just released to the public the results of my 11-month undercover (it had to be-- I was getting cold in my Reggie disguise) sting operation codeword TYSTINK??

I have been tracking his devious conquer-the-world scheme for a very long time and now you blew the whole thing!!

His latest technical advance was the actual telemonotoring of all the data, via his own satellite. When your blood pressure and sweat data was at a peak
(when you actually found a new beanie or attic somewhere) , his spy satellite cameras would get a shot of the credit card you were using and begin a credit tracking program to get data on income, medical history and all kinds of personal data!!

And you all thought that that "return for reference" on the hang tag was a MISTAKE!! Millions of unsuspecting collectors are sending the tags back as directed !! Their DNA was imprinted on it and he is now cloning new Attic buyers at his secret laboratories in Iraq!! The United Nations HAS NEVER BEEN worried about Sadam's "secret" chemical weapons of mass destruction plants, rather his Beanie and Attic buyers cloning facilities. This was an international TOP SECRET concerted effort on the part of many nations to finally put an end to TYrant's plans of world domination!!

Secret Agent 008 Sonny

Fact or fantasy? You be the judge. --- “Dr.” N.

Hi there. I used to work at a little fast food joint called
McDonald's. One day, I appeared at the restaurant as usual, dressed in a red polo shirt and black pants. I saw that we were to have a new Happy Meal toy. Not too unusual--happens every month or so. Well, this was no ordinary toy. It was called a "Teenie Beanie Baby." Well, I thought to myself: "What the devil's a 'Beanie Baby?!'" (This was obviously a couple of years ago) I didn't know what they were, but they just looked like little pieces of crap to me.

The day they went on sale was the most horrible day in McDonald's history...or at least in my experience there. Five weeks worth disappeared in ten days. We had to start giving away lame little toys from years ago that we'd never gotten rid of. We gave out the toddler toys. We gave out Indy 500 souvenir mugs from years ago. We gave away everything we could find! Oh. the horror!

So I quit.
Sincerely, David E. Strus, college student

Truly a tragic story. I sincerely hope that the creator of Beanies (like McDontalds, also headquartered in Oak Brook, Illinois) feels some remorse for your ruined career in the fast food business... who knows, you could have been the next Ray Kroc! - “Dr.” B.

Hey, I heard you on Weekend Rearview today.HAH! You've got a great idea. Beaniefreaks...It really makes you wonder about the end of the world. Reading your hate-mail confirms it. I wish you would put up the addresses of these jerks so we could respond directly to them. I wanna tell that old biddy with the matching place settings for her 80+ beaniebrats where she can stuff em' AND their toothbrushes. And I thought pet rocks were done for. Take it easy KeranenLK@...

Yeah I hate those Frickin Things. I just heard ya on the radio today and was laughing my ass off!! I love your Ideas- Pure Genius!! I'm goin to by the book
Tommorrow!!! ---spap@...

It seems that your book, “The Official Beanie Basher Handbook” could not have been more perfectly timed. I just read an article in Newsday, by William S. McTernan (10/1/98).
Here are some excerpts from the article:
The Beanie Baby bubble is about to burst. Harry L. Rinker is sure of it. So sure he has this to say in this “Official Guide to Collectibles”: “A general feeling has developed that prices have reached the ridiculous level. Many Beanie Babies advertised in the hundreds of dollars are going unsold... The market is flooded with Beanie Baby price guides... A few years from now, their only value will be the ability to look nostalgically back on the craze and think ‘If only I had sold then.’”
“The ship is sinking. If you have Beanie Babies, unload them. Sell them anywhere. On the Net, garage sales. There’s a three-month window of escape. After that, buy a crying towel.” --- Julie
Well, call me Nostradamos (just don’t make me spell it)... I told ya so. Thankfully, my book telling folks how to retire their own Beanies, and giving them over 60 socially and ecologically responsible alternative uses for their (soon-to-be-worthless) Beanie collections.It’s not too late to help out those poor unfortunate fools with their ill-advised “investment” in BEANIE futures. Go ahead and buy them a copy of my book. --- “Dr.” N

I can’t find your book in my local Waldenbooks. Where can you get them?
I assume that this is fan mail since you are asking where you can get the book... Most stores will order books in for you if you just ask them to. It will take a week or two to get it. Or, you can order online through this site from Amazon.com - they even discount the book and ship it to you within a week. --- “Dr.” N

KILLER BEANIE BASHING HUMOR! You are one sick, twisted dude! I just got your book at the store! It’s awesome! My sister, who has over fifty Beanies, loves it too! Way to go! Bash on! ---Cedric Scott, Philadelphia, PA
Better buy your sister her own copy of the book for Christmas. --- “Dr.” N

This is my first time writing to a web site in my two years of cruising the internet looking for something meaningful. Your site, and your book, which I just ordered from Amazon.com, are so funny, so true, so needed! I am so sick of seeing those (expletive deleted) Beanie Babies EVERYWHERE I could puke! More power to you Dr. Neebasher (sic) in your effort to bring people to their senses.
--- Jeff Olson, Long Beach, CA

Hilarious! I can’t wait to go out and get the book!

My mother owns an anitique store and for publicity they had a retired bennie baby auction I’ve never seen old ladies scrap before. --- Piskie420@...
Yep, the only thing uglier than them Beanies is those old ladies scrappin’ over ’em! --- “Dr.” N.

I wish you put out this book a year ago, my wife just paid $500 for a stuffed elephant from some lady in Cincinnati! I feel like retiring HER---not the lady---my wife! --- name withheld

Have you ever tried putting one a Beanie in a blender? I did! It burnt out the motor on the blender. ---- Ron B., Roseville, MN
Sorry about your blender. Actually, we recommend a lawnmower in the book. It doesn’t get wrapped around the blades with such damaging results. --- “Dr.” N.

Killer funny! I’m buying one for each of my Beanie collector friends. We DO have a sense of humor, despite what your hate mail indicates. ---Sue Dempsy, Grand Forks, ND
I thought so. You might want to join our Beanie Basher Club, too --- just for grins. --- “Dr.” N.

The only thing I wished you would have added to your book was a commentary about why this is a popular trend. It continues to baffle me! --- A. E. Dayton, OH
You’re in luck! Dale Connelly from Minnesota Public Radio has a guest editorial in the book talking about the Hunting and Gathering instinct as it relates to Beanie Babies. --- “Dr.” N.

Your Beanie Bashers Handbook RULES dude!
--- K. P. Allenstown, PA

Dr. B. Neebasher:
Try boiling beanie babies! First the dye comes out, and then the beans EXPAND and sometimes even EXPLODE! It is so awesome.
---Bob of Falcon Heights, MN
After recovering from a month in the burn unit from having molten beanie guts explode into my face, I don't know if I would call it awesome. But since pleasure is such a fine line away from pain --- I guess one could term it that. --- “Dr.” N.

I just finished EATING two Beanie Babies. URP! I think they're yummy. Last week I took the pink flamingo out for a drive. I drove over it. Ha! ---Mike, St. Paul, MN
Actually, if you get them hot enough before you eat them, they probably could qualify as an item on the Mexican special plate. --- “Dr.” N.